Am I hovering?

[bazooka111]

I’m just asking for another perspective ...

I have cameras installed in Mom’s bedroom, and bathroom (pure privacy, I am the only one that has access). As I write this, I am a room away from Mom monitoring her in the bathroom. I sometimes feel like I am hovering. She is doing pretty good in there, slowly, but managing getting clothes on, moving to the sink and brushing teeth, applying deodorant, etc.

I switched her to a traditional walker, no more wheels. I switched to a commode chair with arms over the toilet - that has made a world of difference; I think she is more confident.

Anyway, do you think, with monitoring that I should allow her to feel more independent during the day?

At night, I am now sleeping with her, and she is waking me when she needs to go to

the toilet. I have insisted on this, because that is when she fell last week - she’s tired, and not completely awake .... although, these changes with the walker and commode chair has made a positive impact.

Also, she only walks in her bedroom - the distance is short. Anywhere else, I take her in the wheelchair - only because she is exhausted by the time she gets to the kitchen, living room, front porch to sit, etc.

I appreciate all of you - I don’t know what I would do without this forum of friends that understand .. you are my CBD tribal council! 😉

Xx Kim

[Heady]

Of course you are hovering. But if anybody has any better ideas, I'm sure we would love to hear them! You can guarantee it won't be from anyone that has gone/going through this evil disease. Kim, you can only do what you think is right for you and your Mum.

Lots of love

Anne

[Hidden]

Larry accused me of hovering. My reply was no shit. That why he hasn’t had any major falls since I started to hover. I’ve been hovering since March of 2015.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Jeff, l love your use of words...

Sending hugs to you both... Granni B

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

AMEN! My husband just doesn’t get it. I really think his fear of not being in control is far stronger than his fear of falling.

[aliciamq in reply to Hidden]

My hovering has kept us out of the emergency room for going on two yikes years! No stitches and no broken ribs!!! The falls still happen, even with me hold on, but no bloody messes for a long time💪🏼🍻

[Beads0122]

Kim,

It’s not hovering. It’s love.

I think it is best to sleep with her like you are doing. With my wife, I slept light enough to feel her sit up or start to get out of bed, so that I could take her to the bathroom. She could not see in dim light, nor find her way to the toilet, and needed help with her clothing. It’s better than some type of alarm to let you know she’s getting up.

Cherish this time with your mom. Your fellow tribal member,

Bobby

[bazooka111 in reply to Beads0122]

Absolute truth in your words! Sleeping with her is the best all the way around - and it has the special benefits of our pillow talk in the morning that I will forever cherish!

[enjoysalud]

Kim, with PSP there is no such thing as hovering.......there is required constant vigilance to prevent falls (that can do grave harm). PSP can turn on a dime....with often no warning.

[SewBears]

It’s beautiful the way you take care of your mom. We really have no choice but to hover. The minute we turn our backs they’ll figure out a complex maneuver that we hadn’t thought possible. I don’t know your brother’s but I would tell them to “go pound sand”. That was one of my husband’s sayings and I sure do miss his quirky comments.

[NannaB]

I was a hoverer and had a monitor with a camera in front of his chair and in the bedroom once he slept downstairs. After his first fall in the bathroom I always went in with him but having your wife with you in the shower is a bit different from having a daughter with you 😆. Keep on hovering, you are doing great XxxX

[Dickenson2]

You are doing such an amazing job. I would have done the same for my mother. However you must make sure you take care of yourself to deal with what lies ahead.x

[Inparadise]

My husband’s neurologist has told me several times to do whatever I can to prevent my husband from falling, because it is a game changer. When a person falls, if they break bones, which is very common for someone with PSP or in their elder years, they will likely be hospitalized and/or require surgery. Developing pneumonia is highly likely after that. So, by all means, do whatever you feel is necessary to prevent your mother from falling.

[Spiralsparkle]

You are acting from a place of love and care to try to prevent anymore harm coming to your beloved Mum.

I slept with my Mum for over a year when she first moved in with me.

As she became immobile and the impulse to get out of bed gone, she was also by that time in a hospital bed with bed rails. I slept in my own room with a monitor so I could hear her every move but also gave her a sense of some independence. Her anxiety of being alone at night had reduced , think the meds she was on for epilepsy helped there knock her out to sleep for a few hours.

You are doing a marvelous job and it must be also wonderful for you to see she is still managing some activities and also wanting to. Mum apathy was very high.

Big hugs to you both. You know what is best for you both. X

[Brenive]

You are not hovering , she is your mum and your the one who's taking care of her , each time she falls it takes somthing from her , keeping her safe is the best thing you can do for her. The bystanders always think the know best , full of good advice and think they know it all, but never there to do the hard work and the dirty jobs , as the song says ..." I did it my way" keep it up your doing a great job.. Brenda xxx.

[nergeshb]

This hovering originated in a place called love! NO ONE can think that’s not perfectly right. I’m sure your Mum blesses you each day for being such a lovely daughter. You must be a wonderful human being!!!

[bazooka111 in reply to nergeshb]

Wow thank you - my heart is smiling

[doglington]

We have to hover !

It's no good waiting for a broken hip before you hover.

It's really hard adjusting afterwards though ! I still jump up and it's over a year since Chris died.

I also made sure that I encouraged him to keep mobile when I was supporting him.

X

[Marilyn_cbd12 in reply to doglington]

No, you are not hovering, you are taking very good care of her. A year ago, when my husband was hospitalized, I asked for a bedside conference with all of his hospital providers (physicians, nurses, respiratory and other therapists, etc) , I knew I was "coming on strong" in terms of expectations that they would all talk to each other and provide an integrated plan for him, but didn't really care as the senior resident physician did not know much about CBD and didn't care to learn, either. After the conference, a nurse pulled me aside and whispered "Every patient needs an advocate like you." I am so glad she did that. It affirmed my belief that our most important job is taking care of our loved ones.

If I have a concern, it is that you may not have a moment's peace as you monitor all the monitors. Are you keeping it together and getting the rest and renewal you need?

[Marilyn_cbd12 in reply to Marilyn_cbd12]

Sorry, Doglinton - meant that post fo bazooka. Just copied and sent it to her.

Marilyn

[dollydott]

It's love Kim.

Do it your way and if it keeps her safe your doing a good job

Hugs Lynda 💚🧡💛

[Dance1955]

Your mum is a very lucky lady to have you

You’re just looking after her how can that be hovering

My husband can’t walk at all so I wish I could be hovering I know exactly what he is doing as I am doing it with him

Don’t be hard in yourself you are a wonderful person to do all of this

Hugs my friend I hope someone hovers over me if I ever need it

💕💕💕

[bazooka111 in reply to Dance1955]

👍🏻🙌🏻❤️

[richsanta]

I think that was a great idea. I do Hoover but physically and which we all know can be exhausting. Your Mom by all means knows you are doing all you do out of love a care. God bless. Connie

[Hidden]

It is so easy for siblings to criticize... even in playful sarcastic manner. . . Sign them up for a seven day (24-7) sift & you will be given more understanding & hopefully a lot of admiration. Hoover away my dear... you are a blessing in your mom's life.

Sending hugs to you both... Granni B

[bazooka111 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Mottsie

[raincitygirl]

Whatever you call it, your mom is in her own home, still managing some things on her own, had dignity and "her life" maintained largely thanks to you!

Now, what was that question again?

😆

Anne G.

[bazooka111 in reply to raincitygirl]

😉🙌🏻❤️