Communication to loved ones in care homes

[Freddie-dog]

All through lockdown at home mum was communicating with family through a WhatsApp call with several members taking part. I had to be there to help but in the main it was successful with mum seeming to follow and laugh in the right places. We continued to do this after she went in the nursing home with mixed success. Last week we had a particularly distressing one where she had been put in a busy lounge with the I pad at a funny angle and no member of staff for a while. They eventually moved her to a quieter place. She also appeared very tired and had the wrong glasses on but that's another story! We have spoken to them to see if we can come to a better arrangement. But we were wondering if any one has any useful experiences in communicating with their loved ones in nursing homes in these unprecedented times. Using the phone has been tricky for mum for a very long while and while we are in another lockdown we need to keep some line of communication open while she is able. Knowing which battles to fight is so hard and we obviously don't want to give mum any other distress. Thank you

[Heady]

look forward to reading your replies. My mum has Alzheimer's, she has just been put into a different nursing home, with the enviable teething problems and we are not allowed anywhere near her to check she is alright. Last time we were there, she was in men's rather small and very stained underpants. Really think that Care Homes should do a lot more to let family see their loved ones. I know they will scream Covid, well Mum has just been diagnosed with it, with nobody, bar staff allowed anywhere near her, so what's the difference??? Thankfull she is asymptomatic.

Thank you, rant over for today, well this particular minute!

Sending big hug and much love

Lots of love

Anne

[Freddie-dog in reply to Heady]

Hi there so sorry you are also in that position and especially now your mum has covid. So pleased she doesn't have symptoms. I hope to find some inspiration too!

All the best

Heather

[Kellsbelles]

I’m in the same situation with my dad, so I appreciate your frustrations. Whenever I see a picture of my dad in his nursing home, I wonder who’s clothes he is wearing! It’s so sad. I’m struggling to speak with him as the staff are never available to help my dad with phone calls- he struggles to hold the phone up for video / normal calls. I wish so much that I could see him so I could try and talk to him properly. I find communicating with him so much easier in person (although still challenging!) it’s my dads birthday on Saturday and I can’t see him. I’m sending him a large picture of him and his grandson and a giant card with pictures on- I suspect his vision is pretty non-existent now, but just in case he can still make out some tunnel vision, I have sent these things so he knows we’re thinking of him.

[10greenfingers in reply to Kellsbelles]

Hi. What a lovely idea! I'm sure your dad will gain a lot of comfort just knowing you are thinking of him and have put effort into helping him enjoy his special day. We made our mum a 'sticking' activity so that she could recall places she had been. Some recent and some from her life experiences. We cut out printed photos in different shapes, then drew around them on a big piece of plain paper. We hoped staff would engage in conversation, though we recognise that is difficult, but even a one word response would be worth it. We sent in a glue stick so she could stick the photo on the matching shape with help. We haven't had any feedback about the activity so we don't know if she could do it, if she enjoyed it or if she even did it but we tried. Keep going and well done.

[messier]

Mum really struggles with technology now although she used to be very confident about using her laptop and smartphone a few years ago. It's the fault of the bits of the brain that don't manage to instruct the hands to do the right thing. I used to text until she started having problems with her phone that nobody in the home seemed to be able to sort. She can still sometimes phone though she doesn't know which of my numbers she's calling. WhatsApp attempts were a complete failure. But mostly she emails just short one or two line messages as she still can manage that on the tablet I got her. Loads of typos of course and sometimes half an email arrives!

[AJK2001]

I don't know if this would help anyone but Ownfone (ownfone.com) do a phone that you can choose several numbers to be put onto it & either have the persons name or picture, then just a simple ring or answer button. They come with a lanyard so can be worn round the neck, so no dropping on the floor. I would have tried Mum with one but by the time I found out, her coordination was too poor to press the button she wanted.

[wear1947 in reply to AJK2001]

That's my experience too.

Today I make a phone call daily, and talk to her during 5 minutes at 5 o' clock. I have selected a song previously and and I transmite to her. Just 5 minutes of pleasure. She is blind now, and say thanks this little moments.

Hope this helps

[AJK2001 in reply to wear1947]

That is such a sweet thing to do.

[Freddie-dog]

That's a lovely thing. We don't seem to be able to catch her at a convenient time to actually talk. Even a few minutes would be great. Did you set that up with the nurse or Carer's? Thank you

Looked the phone too good idea not sure mum would work it but will perhaps mention it to home. Thanks

[wear1947]

Yes I set up with the nurse. I use the mobile for the music at YouTube app, the phone call is made with the old one, that with a cord, still in use in South America....jajaja

Big hug!!

Elena

[Freddie-dog]

That's great thank you. Another try at a whatsapp tomorrow! Hopefully will be better!