Thank you to everyone who responded to my upset that the respite home felt they could not take Nigel because he had raised a fist !! I did point out to them on the phone that there would not have been any power in a punch if it had reached a destination and that it was only frustration not mailce, so they agreed to take him on the Sunday as they knew I could not find anywhere else on a Sunday. His agression was to be reported to senior management on Monday. However on Sunday instead of shouting when he became agitated he somehow managed to get up and walk with his frame right up the corridor at the home (this is a man who usually finds from lounge to bathroom at our own home hard work !) so he could see the front drive and then he walked back to the lounge and fell onto his chair. Several bruises but otherwise ok. They suddenly became very co-operative and are now working with me to work out how to keep him calm during the afternoon and what foods he likes that he is allowed to eat etc. No more mention of the agression either. He came home yesterday having had a calm afternoon and he was not so exhausted so his walking was easier and it was good. I am just praying that it will be the same today and that he is now trusting the routine that he will be picked up and brought home each day. I have written '5' on the back of his hand so he remembers by what time he will be picked up, which seems to work well. Apparently this morning when our morning carer took him in for respite, there was another gentleman swearing like mad and Nigel just looked at our carer and she said it was a almost a grin and a wink !!
In the meantime I am getting stronger and more mobile thank goodness. Love to you all and big hugs to help you on this rollacoaster we find ourselves on. AliBee xxx