Has anyone had respite care delivered at home from someone living in?
The hospice don't do inpatient respite care unfortunately, which is the only place Mum is likely to agree to go to.
I need a break as can feel my patience has run out and feel relief when Mum goes once a fortnight to day hospice. It isn't her I know but her moods and behaviours are making me lose my sanity. I know people take it out on their closest but it is so hurtful at times. I can't do right for doing wrong. Her memory and confusion don't help matters.
Written by
Spiralsparkle
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
So sorry that a more knowledgable member isn't online at the moment Ihaven't got advice - only sympathy. I don't know how you do it - even with carers in to help out. The physical toll is bad enough; to have the psychic drain of dealing with dementia as well seems...unbearable!
You MUST get a break! I hope you'll be able to do whatever it takes to get one.
I shall be watching replies with interest. Up until last autumn my hubby has been to his brothers for short breaks or another brother has come here to stay. But it is all too much for them now. so I have bitten the bullet and starting making arrangement for a live in carer for a week in April. Just at the planning stage with the agency whom we have daily carers from. It is very expensive and will not be able to afford this approach again I think, but I so need a break to look forward too. It is also a stepping stone into respite .
I have just started the CHC process off hoping we may be able to get some form of respite package but I know it takes a long time.
I am trying not to be overly optimistic about CHC. Funding!!! We use Bluebird care have a planning meeting with them next week. Have had to submit list of all meds, daily routine programme. Good to hear others have found live in carers have worked well.
Hi rog always had live in care when i had respite , the care agency had designated carers who chose to work that way, we did have CHC and they were happy to fund it every 12 weeks. It bizarrely was cheaper than a nursing home. Lovely guy used to stay.
Ah that's sounds like worked well. I do feel be much better for her to stay in familiar surroundings. I don't have CHc but do have a budget for respite from social care that can use. Was it a local agency to you or a national company you had?
If anyone in US knows something comparable here, or really any assistance that is not for those with low income I would be interested in hearing from u. We have LTC policy, but before I start using that I wanted to use Medicare Home Health, but they will not allow us to use H Health if I am able to get him to any outpatient therapy appt. There is an elimination period on the LTC plans which means we have to pay out of pocket for that length of time before we can use the policies we have and are paying for each month.
I have some experience to relate. In September Jon was awarded CHC funding for 4 visits a day by two carers for an hour each time. I needed to go to France in October to sell the house we had there. Our care agency agreed a live-in carer whom Jon knew well. He was at home and the agency just sent one additional carer for each visit so they could do the manual handlo g necessary. The agency also swapped the main carer out to give him his necessary breaks. It was going very well until Jon aspirated and ended up in hospital with pneumonia and I had to come back abruptly from France.
It suited Jon much better than his previous experience of a week in a care home.
I would love to do it again but I fear the agency no longer has the spare capacity.
Yep always the issues of capacity. The care system needs a big helping hand to keep up with the demand
Hi Spiral
I feel your pain, we also have applied twice and twice been turned down for CHC funding and also don't have the energy to appeal. I am reading this thread with interest too. We have 2 carers three times a day but need a fourth call out as Mums pads need changing more often and it needs 2 carers to hoist Mum. We have a cleaner and do internet food shopping, but think my Father is going to need respite soon as he is in his eighties and its too much for him. The idea of a live in carer for a week sounds like a great idea. My lovely Mother did have a 4 week spell in a nursing home last November but she got considerably worse as a result. I think we will go down the line of a live in carer too...maybe you could let us know how you get on with it? Thanks Mx
I have the admiral nurse coming next week so going to ask her to have the conversation with Mum about respite break and if she knows of any good providers locally. The country cousins website does look good though so will contact them I think too.
Hi, I know we spoke about this before, so forgive me if I 'm repeating myself (memory is awful these days)! Have you tried Bluebird Care? They have a Shrewsbury office so may cover your area - 01743 874343. Their Stafford office were the ones who agreed to come and live in with my dad before we made the fateful choice of the care home instead. They were expensive, but sounded very good. If there's anything I can do to help you, just ask. I have no idea how anyone manages this alone. Sending hugs x
I don't think I can manage anymire without a break. The physical side I can deal but not the worsening cognition and her hostile mood to me and an angel with everyone else. My patience has gone so know I'm not helping the situation either as she is picking up on my angst.
I don't have any practical advice for you, Spiralsparkle, but I do sympathize and hope you get some help and rest! Rest is key to survival and sanity and so hard to come by. Do something nice for yourself, if you can. Peace, Ec
The only think I can think of is live in carers, if your mum won’t agree to going into a home....for respite, but I don’t know how much of a break that would you? I suspect not enough !
Forgive me because I haven’t read the replies yet......
Have heard really positive things about Country cousins. Hope you can find good respite care. Agree you need to get out of the house whilst carers staying in order to get a proper break.
We found with my Mum’s application for CHC that it was really beneficial to have the OT from the local Hospice present for the assessment. My Mum was turned down the first time but had deteriorated enough to get it second application. As other people have said you must have a break and maybe when you have refreshed you re apply for CHC , I find it staggering that peop,e with PSP or CBD get turned down. I don’t know what we would have done without it. The CHC co ordination has been really helpful once Mum got the funding. Xxxx
We are fortunate here in rural Pennsylvania to have three neighbor ladies that share responsibilities to provide live-in assistance to my mother, thus giving my 87 year old dad a bit of a break. We pay them, but they are very reasonable and great neighbors/friends, who are also well informed on assisting under such circumstances. Ascera Care Hospice also provides weekly visits by a Nurse, and thrice weekly visits by an aide that helps my mother shower/bathe. And monthly, a social worker and chaplain visit and provide support to us all. I am sorry I can't help you any further, as I am limited in my knowledge of the UK resources available to help. MEDICARE here does provide for the hospice with few limitations.
I have just done what you are looking for. Every 3 months I practically have a nervous breakdown. I am 80 and find it so tiring looking after my bedbound husband with PSP 7 days a week. I do have daily visits from a carer for two hours, not Sunday but it is not really enough for me, as there is so much work in 24 hour nursing, shopping, gardening, housework and keeping up with the multitude of tablets and pain patches. I have had enough. I need regular weekly breaks, and as my hubby won't go into a Home (he said he will go on hunger strike) I have had to resort to an Agency. I found one on line called ELDER CARE Agency. I looked at their site and I was quite impressed. They operate in London but find carers all over the Country. They are one of the more cheaper - 7 nights costs £959, but I take 6 nights at £850. They are a bit technical, and you have to put in your requirements, and fill out a questionnaire as to your loved ones illness, and the sort of person you would like on line. The one they sorted out for us was superb, does more than she needs to do, and was delightful. She had a very impressive review from the lady who used her services before us. I have used her twice now, and am thinking of another break in November.
Incidentally, I contacted my Care Manager at our Local Council and told her straight that I needed more breaks and she got me 4 Direct Payments (about £500 each) to help me fund my respite. So there are possibilities out there if you stay strong and let them know how you feel. We did apply for CHC about a year ago, but were unsuccessful.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Ihaven't got advice - only sympathy. I don't know how you do it - even with carers in to help out. The physical toll is bad enough; to have the psychic drain of dealing with dementia as well seems...unbearable!
RESPITE CARE IN NORTHERN IRELAND
Respite
Respite but not respite
Please Help - Home care on NHS
