as you know Geoff my hero died on the 28 th of may I am feeling so empty I keep thinking he will come home his funeral is on the 19th and the military are giving him a send off because he was awarded the military medal and south Arabian star I have a wonderful family who have supported with love and care over the four and a half years he has had this awful illness but I miss him so much we would have been married 56 years next month and it feels like my heart has been ripped out how do you cope with this grief people understandably have their own lives to get on with so my solace is on your shoulders because you are all coping with this we are donating the collection to the charity for psp only a small gesture for the help we were given he was a wonderful man yes he had faults but never once complained about his illness always smiled and I loved him more than life sorry for my outpouring but I am feeling so lost doreen
life seems so empty: as you know Geoff my... - PSP Association
life seems so empty
Oh Doreen I can feel how sad you are feeling, what a wonderful thing to do donating some of Geoff things to psp. You did an amazing job looking after Geoff the lady 4 years. Yvonne xxxx we are all here for you anytime you need us. Yvonne xxxx
I know, Doreen. It is a dreadful time. The loss is devastating.
You've survived so much and will go on. I can't say when it stops hurting - Chris died last October, after 55 years together and I still can't really believe it.
Big hug from Jean xx
Doreen
There is nothing I can say in the face of the grief that comes from deep love.
Except maybe: Hold him in your heart that way he is with you.
Perhaps also that the pain will diminish over time and you will find your sense of purpose again. We do self heal to a large degree.
Warmly
Kevin
I am so sorry....................keeping you in my prayers.
Profound grief is very hard. It will take time for it not to hurt as much. A lot of time.
Doreen a great big hug to you. All of us who have lost our loved ones know how you feel. It takes a long time to get over it but you will do it given time. Geoff would want you to carry on. Your family will hopefully help you through this. We are always here for you and you can pour your heart out anytime you want to.
I hope the funeral goes well but it can be a bit of a trial too. Saying goodbye is never easy. When it's such a final goodbye it hurts. There is no pretending otherwise.
God bless to you and family, we are here for you so please remember that? It helps to chat with others who have been down the same road.
Marie x
some of us that have lost loved ones know exactly how you feel. I lost my hubby in December and get some good days and some bad days but I still miss him dreadfully. From the outside friends say you look good but no one knows what is going on inside and no matter how difficult it is we have to carry on as that is what our loved ones would want. Hugs Jxx
Oh how I feel for you. I list my dad recently & different from losing a spouse I know because I still have my family with me but it's huge none the less. If friends ask how you are tell them the truth, the good ones will stick by you and help you, let you talk and cry. The liss is raw so we have to battle through it, do little things to help yourself.
My car got broken into at the weekend and all I wanted to do was run to my dad and tell him. I want to run to him still and im 51!! He bailed me out all my life but no more.
I hope the days arn't too long for you. Xxx
Dear Doreen, Bens Farewell Tribute was last Tuesday, it was a beautiful goodbye ceremony it still feels surreal to me. I was surrounded by family for most of the time after his death but now find myself alone at home with my thoughts and memories. I know I will cope with this as I, and all other carers have had to cope over the years of nursing and caring for our loved ones but it's going to be tough. I'm sure you will be the same, as others here have proved. At the moment things are still very raw and I'm desperately trying to imagine him still here with me, part of grieving I guess. Until the funeral is over and you get to say your final goodbye you can't begin to move on.
Sending my warmest wishes, love and support to you dear lady.
Love Kate xxx
It is so difficult to know what to say, and all I can do is send as much positivity, hugs and love. Use those around you to talk to and try to smile at all of those memories you have . xxx
Pam
You have my sympathy. P died on the same day (28th May) so I am feeling much like you - can`t quite believe it has happened.
P`s funeral is not until the 25th, it seems an age away. I have found that choosing the music for the funeral is very difficult and certain songs that I have considered have made me cry. We want to have an upbeat celebration of his life but it is proving really hard.
How lucky we are to have this community to lean on.
xx
We did both with the music. Its so important as it sets the tone of his life. We had the sad music - but ended with Louis Armstrong " Wonderful World ". Everyone will cry anyway but it can still be inspiring.
xx
Thank you Jean. I did consider one of my favourite songs - `Candle on the water` by Helen Reddy, but when I played it I realised it ends with the words …`I`ll never let you go`, which felt a little `spooky`, so back to the drawing board !
xx
Of course thats true - you never let them go !!!
I am approaching the one year anniversary of my beloved husband’s death. We would have been married 56yrs. I know it may sound trite to say that in time it will get better,but I am beginning to feel,not “better” but maybe more accepting of my new reality. At first it seems unreal and as you stated you keep expecting him to come home.You think constantly of things you want to tell him. My heart goes out to you! My best advice is to take one day at a time and as soon as you feel you can start getting out of the house and doing things.I had to force myself to do that at first and everything I did I was wishing he were with me.But it is getting easier. Xxx Janet
Yes what Janet says is true. Bill is gone almost two years now. Today is our 52 nd anniversary. I just can’t believe he is gone! The crying is not so often now as he never wanted me to cry so I look up at the sky and smile. I am aware often of him talking to me and telling me what to do. His drs office called me yesterday to remind him to get a pneumonia shot!! The recording woke me up. At first I was angry but then I figured out that it was really bill reminding me to get my shot!! So I smiled then and thanked him. Listen for your guy. He will communicate and it will bring you peace and calm your tears. He will take care of you now! Just be aware. You know if you see a cardinal or the trees rustling or a pin on the ground or a formation in the sky or the sound of a wind chime. Get one if you don’t have one. You will be ok.
God bless. Sue
My heart goes out to you. When the time happens to me I will look back at your post and be helped. We are here for you now and always. I plan to keep in touch with everyone for a very long time. It's keeping me going now and then I hope.
Bless you.
Cuttercat
Oh I am so sorry for your loss and your grief. I lost my dad 8 weeks ago, and whilst the pain is not as raw and consuming as it was on those early days it is still bubbling under the surface and tears are always close at hand.
Talking to my sister yesterday, I said that no matter how dad we feel, It must only be a fraction of what our mum's feeling, she and dad would have been married 58 years this year.
My heart goes out to you x
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