P had a `cardiac episode` on Friday. Very obvious to me as soon as I walked in to the nursing home. Since then he has stopped eating and drinking (although he drank twice as much as usual on Saturday). His eyes are blank and staring and he`s fading before our eyes.
All the family have visited frequently since then and I`ve been there 12 hours at a time but it is pure torture to watch your beloved slip away like this. I feel so helpless, I sit and hold his hand and talk to him but I`m not sure he`s seeing or hearing anything. After all he`s already suffered this is so cruel.
xx
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NanBabs
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Dear Kevin, you have been one of the most supportive on this site for me and for many. I send warmest wishes of love, take as much help that you can
Geoff also had a bad episode 2 weeks ago where I thought I wold lose him.
We had hospice at home come in and district nurses visiting, the anti-biotics have worked there magic and he is recovered now. But having the help has opened more doors. He now has a hospital bed, 'just in case' medication and an open phone line to Hospice at home and district nurses. All via the district nurse team via our GP practice.
Don't know if this information will be of hlep but hoping so.
I'm so sorry Geoff is struggling so much now. What wonderful support you are getting. I love to hear good news!
Thanks for the kind words. I do like to help others. So it works all round and I too get a lot of help and advice from others here. This forum is a good place to be.
Liz's needs are too much for me to have her at home. To some degree because of her frontal lobe issues. She is (mostly) really nice with other folks, but she made it very difficult for me to care for her. Because it is about frontal lobes she was completely unaware of how difficult she was being. So it was that at the end of last year I couldn't cope with it any more and she went into a nursing home (just a ten minute walk from here).
Anyway I am having her home for a couple of hours today... It will be difficult (frontal lobes), but I know she yearns to be home and I will make it as good as I can.
Thanks for your support. It makes a big difference.
You are both pillars here. My wife has recently taken to pointing where she wants to go when I am escorting her in a wheel chair. Partly emulating Liz, partly out of necessity. She really got a kick out of your Tank Commander story. Know that you are a great spouse and that you can handle anything. Sending love and support.
When we moved in here Liz asked t have a part of the garden to do what she wanted with. This was the first time we had lived together after some 14 years of being a couple and she had been in a flat in london for many years and missed the soil.
So as we designed the garden I encouraged her to claim a little more and then some more too. She was so excited to have space to garden.
I played a wee trick on her and claimed a strip through her space... I put in two ponds one higher and running into the other and put this in to feed the top pond. The first part of the video.
Fabulous Kevin I know if it was me being the PSP/cbd patient, I would love the idea of a "field trip home" especially with something as lovely as that waterfall in the garden, now and then and know that it would happen again, that it wasn't a once-only thing. I think that could keep me going....
The pond sounds like a lovely present. I am so sorry about Liz's recent turn. You and she have been so great a part of my community. Love and hugs to you both. Ec
She is struggling so much with the illness... she is so cognitively aware of what is happening. Today it took her 15 minutes of intense communication to tell me she wanted the commode. Yet when I talk about complex things she responds with such good comprehension.
Nanbabs I am so sorry this has happened. Yet I wonder if he's not eating or drinking if he might slip away gently? Has a doctor been to see him?
When G was admitted to hospital there was a query by doctors over whether or not he had had a heart attack. If they didn't know I most certainly didn't! He did have aspiration pneumonia though.
How about your husband? Has he been eating and drinking today?
It is really stressful and heartbreaking as you say. I still think about that time. Hard not to?
He can certainly hear you. Hearing is the last sense to go. So holding his hand and talking to him is exactly the right thing to do. Bless you P, and your family.
Dear Nanbabs - thinking of you and wishing you strength for this final period...There's nothing more you can do, except communicate love as he makes the final journey.
DearNanBabs, Kevin and everyone dealing with the pain of significant deterioration in their loved ones health. Wish I had wise words but alas no beyond me.
Little I can say but my thoughts and love are with you. They believe that hearing is the last thing to go so I am sure P is aware that you are there and talking to him. It sounds as if he is peaceful though. I have been to the funeral of my 'other Mum' today and she was like P at the end so all I can do is send hugs and love. Ali B xx
Even though we can prepare ourselves for what is likely to occur, I would imagine that it is still a shock and disbelief to watch your loved one stop eating and drinking.
Know what you are saying re the staring thing, Leon (hubby) now just sits and stares lots of the time, still has minimal feeds (P.E.G.) when I am there he will have 180 ml, at 12 noon and again at 3 p.m. but refuses the 6 o'clock feed, and ususally half at 6 a.m. and 9 a.m. I used to sneak more in, but think now, it is his choice, have watched him deteriorate for so long now, would be a blessing if he just gave up, horrid as that is to say. Cruel so so cruel just waiting and watching.
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So sad
This made me so happy! + DIET DOES MATTER!
So the truth comes out
Eyes closed - so frustrating!
