Keith, the love of my life

Hi everyone and firstly can I say how grateful I have been to each and every one of you for your love and support through this terrible journey that's called PSP.

Keith is now at rest, but I'm feeling such a terrible pain in my heart that keeps coming over me in waves and takes my breath away. I'm finding it so hard to accept that he's gone from me, even though I'm relieved that he's not suffering any more it's difficult to come to terms with.

His funeral was just what I wanted for him, the flowers, the music, the tributes, everything was just perfect and only what he deserved, he was such a lovely, caring man. I don't know how but I managed to get through it with the support of my loving family, I was a bit of a wreck I know, but I did it.

Yes I miss him, I always will and I'm struggling to face the fact that I will never see him again.

I will keep checking on this forum and if there's any help or advise I can give I will....

Seeing all of you lots of love and hugs....Pat xx

21 Replies

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  • Darling Pat

    You've done so well coping, you've been amazing!! It must so hard, my heart breaks for you!! You just need time and lots of it! Dear Keith is at peace now and free of this dreadful illness. We are all here for you and if you ever frequent Surrey let me know and we'll meet up

    Hugs darling hugs x

  • Oh dear, Pat, I am not at that stage yet, but my mother had a continuous pain after my father died. They had been married for almost 65 years. The doctor diagnosed it as "grief". 12 years on, she still misses him, but has got a life of her own, even though she is 95. I'm only saying this because you are in the early stages of loss and to show that eventually , life does move on, although at first, you don't want it to without your beloved Keith. Be kind to yourself. Your love for Keith will never die, it could be seen in every post that you wrote. I am a Christian, so I do believe that you will see him again . Whatever you believe, I guess that you know that Keith would want you to take care of yourself now and in the future, building a new life with him in your heart. You gave him a wonderful funeral service as well as years of service taking care of him. Do keep in touch, your experience is invaluable. Sending lots of love, prayers for you both and a great big hug. X

  • I am having those same emotions....they way I am dealing with my pain is to say the my mother in law kicked CBD in the a&^s before it could totally kick her....each passing day it gets a little easier, then with one second I am back to where I was lst Friday...timewill heal us all

  • Keep going Pat - it does get a little easier with the passage of time but I'm afraid we will never really get over it all.

    V x 💐

  • Hi Pat, I like to give you some words of comfort, but still in too much pain myself.

    Sending big hug and much love.

    Lots of love

    Anne

  • Big hug Anne xxx

  • Thanks, need as many as I can get at the moment.

    Lots of love

    Anne

  • xxxx

  • You are among friends here so you can always share your feelings with us.

    xx

  • Pat hold on in there, Keith knew how much you cared about him, you were together a long time, of course these feelings are natural, you are a lovely person inside and out. Grieve in your own way, not lost my husband so I can't feel what all your lovely people are going through, but I can feel all your pain, wish I could give you a big hug Pat, here for you anytime you need me Yvonne xxxxx

  • Dear Pat, i'm always thinking of you , we will get together when you feel you can, love and hugs always xxx

  • Hi Pat, I really feel for you at this difficult time, but you still have Keith in your heart and eventually all those lovely memories of happier times you shared and made together will come back. Take your time and grieve in your own way. We are all here for you as you have been here for us. Sending you all my love and keeping you in my prayers.

    Nanny857xx 🌹

  • Hi Pat, I know how you feel. Will I cry everyday for the rest of my life?

    Love

    Debbie xxxx

  • Big hugs to you Debbie. xx

  • Hugs to you pat....they say time is the only healer. It can only get easier xx

  • I'm pleased his sending off was all you wanted for him and now your journey begins without him. I'm sure you will find the strength to get through this and come out the other side with wonderful memories of your life together. The pain that many people on this site are feeling at the loss of their loved one cuts through me like a knife and I'm not the one feeling the full force. Be kind to yourself pat and grieve the way that you need to grieve I'm sure it's a very personal thing, unique to each and every one of you. Big hugs and a comforting arm around your shoulder.

    Kate xxx

  • I am glad services went so well.

    Much comfort to you as you go on...

    AVB

  • xxx

  • Bless you and your family. Thinking of you

  • Sorry for the late reply Pat, we are were dealing with the same end. I keep waiting for the phone to ring, but it hasn't.

    Remember Keith for who he was before PSP, those memories will keep him near you. it is amazing the strength you have when times are tough, gong through the illness was much harder that seeing them go. I think I mourned my mother in law two and a half years ago when CBD reared its ugly head. Now that she is gone I smile and think, your OK and we will be too.

    Sending you love and strength

    Paola

  • Love back to you, Pat. It is the one human thing I believe in in this world. It's real. It matters. You were so fortunate to find it and share it with Keith. I am glad the funeral was as you wished. Now you have to relearn all those little things - like breathing. Hang on. Say yes as much as you can. Keep in touch. Love and hugs, Ec

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