my hero Geoff : how can I thank you all for... - PSP Association

PSP Association
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my hero Geoff

wheelrace
wheelrace

how can I thank you all for your support it is such a comfort to read all your words I feel I'm not alone in my grief and I am going to see a councillor because I have so many questions and anxietys about geoffs passing my daughter in law put me onto this site what a blessing that was I was wondering how kevin and his wife were doing ? one big hurdle will be Christmas day as that is also geoffs birthday I'm sorry I cant answer to everyone so hopefully everyone will read this its hard to put into words how I feel almost numb with the pain of heartache you go through the motions of everyday things but feel its pointless he loved me with such a passion and held on to my hand right to the end so I knew I was going to suffer after he died he went through so much aden ,massive road traffic accident with serious burns and then he had to suffer both psp and cbd they say god knows who can manage to face suffering I'm proud of Geoff more than anyone knows and he has two great children he was a very proud of them both I'm rambling a bit so thanks to you all I will stay with you all Doreen

10 Replies
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Hi, I think that is wise, your decision to see a counselor.

I think you were truly blessed to have had Geoff as your partner in life. He sounds like a wonderful man.

I keep you in my prayers and good thoughts.

Margarita from Los Angeles, CA, USA

Doreen

You loved him and always will. It comes through so strongly. He obviously loved you too. You were his rock when he needed one most.

Having had a husband who was in Aden too they had a very difficult time. Not fair to suffer anything else is it? However they are both free of all that now. Maybe they will meet in the other life? There is someone else on here whose husband was in Aden but I can't remember who now! Odd isn't it? Given how rare this is meant to be. Frankly I am not convinced it is that rare!

Did you go to Bridlington? Hope you had a good time if you did.

Glad you are going to have counselling. I think it will help you.

Hugs to you. We are always here for you Doreen.

Marie x

Suport and friendship is what we do on this site , as you know, please stay with us, as you know Ivor and I spent 2 years in aden.not something we will ever forget...Brenda xxx

Brenive
Brenive
in reply to Brenive

Marie , the 3 of us wrote about Aden, afew weeks ago.

You must still be smarting from the loss of Geoff, I know I am from loosing Ben in May. I'm starting to try to face the world again but often with a very heavy heart and I guess that's how it will be for you too Doreen. I hold you find your ouncekling helpful, I had lots when Ben was diagnosed but haven't been back since loosing him, let us know how you find it. Take care

Love Kate xxx

Way to go Doreen! You're doing the right thing. Smart thinking :-)

We'll get through this. I have faith we will. And many wonderful members who have suffered the huge loss of their "other half" have told us that there is life after the passing. It is not the same life, it is different. But there is life - and you deserve that Doreen!

XXX Anne G.

LOVED LOVED LOVED seeing your photo posted by raincitygirl. It is so wonderful to put a face to a "sister" of this horrible PSP.

Oh, Doreen you both coped with so much!

It's so very hard.

I hope you find the healing you need.

Warmly

Kevin

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wheelrace
in reply to Kevin_1

hello kevin I was worried about how your wife was as I hadn't been on the site for a while I cannot begin to tell you how I feel even though I knew he was terminal the guilt I feel is overwhelming did I do enough or because he was in such pain I kept calling the district nurses out for more medication was I right to do that I'm selfish I just want him back I am going for councelling because I am having night mares with guilt and I must remember my two children have lost their dad so I will talk to someone outside the family the loneliness is dreadful I met and married Geoff in six weeks I knew he was the one on Friday the 13th as well we would have been married 56years this month how is liz doing hope ive got her name right michelle said she was not so good last time she spoke to you shes been a brick by the way I forget that you have enough without the burden of others but I still think of you as superhero with dyed underpants !!!!! I hope you are well and the sun shines brightly in your corner you deserve it best wishes always doreen

Hello Doreen

It must have been a magical relationship. I say 'have been', but Those I have loved and lost are with me in my heart. I talk with them when the moment arises. I cherish the memories and the things we shared. Is this silly? It's certainly not the same as having them close by in life.

I'm so glad you have Michelle :)

Liz is on a plateau at the moment. She has lost so much muscle and weight. She is a bony bundle, but there is love and hugs still to be shared through the tears. I count us lucky that we still have that.

The nightmares and guilt are not surprising. PSP is a cruel teacher. First the suffering and then the loss. So much emotional trauma. As carers we measure ourselves against the ideal, but we are merely human. It took me a long time to realise that as long as I did my best then that would have to do. As Liz would tell me, "Your not very good at care, but I love you for trying."

I do hope the counselling gets you past this quickly.

Warmly with hugs

Kevin

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