Nothing prepares you for this..... - PSP Association

PSP Association

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Nothing prepares you for this.....

Katet68 profile image
32 Replies

Sadly at the ripe old age of 48 (yes Georgepa I was born in 1968) I have lost both friends & family to illness, old age & even suicide and obviously have experienced grief, sometimes overwhelmingly so but NOTHING has prepared me for losing my Mum.

The grief I am currently experiencing takes my breath away, it knocks me for six, it catches me unawares at the most inopportune moments causing me to sob uncontrollably.

I know that in one sense I am lucky to feel the strength of this grief because it demonstrates the immense love for my amazing Mum but my heart is breaking.

People keep asking me "what can they do?" & I want to respond "make her better, give her back to me?" An impossible task.

A bit of a self indulgent post but the hubby has just gone away for 6 weeks & I needed a hug so knew I'd get virtual ones here & people who'd understand my sadness & not just make what they feel are the appropriate noises. So I'll sign off now, go & have a good blub & thank my lucky stars that I have a Mum & Dad who I love so dearly ❤️

Love to you all x

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Katet68 profile image
Katet68
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32 Replies
Christine47 profile image
Christine47

Here is your virtual hug ((())) :). I cannot imagine life without my mother.

Christine

Teeker profile image
Teeker

Hi Kate 68, so sorry for your loss. I am sending you lots of hugs. May God give you the strength at this sad time.

Teeker xxx

Katet68 profile image
Katet68 in reply toTeeker

Sorry, didn't mean to mislead- Mum is still alive but trapped in the horrible world of PSP so in lots of ways we have lost her xx

Kbaker1 profile image
Kbaker1 in reply toKatet68

I so get it and you and fully understand xxx

Kbaker1 profile image
Kbaker1 in reply toTeeker

I so get it and totally understand xx

Elaine1969 profile image
Elaine1969

Big hug katet68 psp sucks I am only 47 and caring for my darling husband who is only 53 xxx

Katet68 profile image
Katet68 in reply toElaine1969

I'm so very sorry to hear that, sending you a big hug right back xx

Richanne profile image
Richanne in reply toElaine1969

Elaine it looks like you were born the year we were married! And I think we exchanged emails a while ago about the Friends and Family day in Birmingham in September. I was hoping to meet you there. Another time maybe?

Elaine1969 profile image
Elaine1969 in reply toRichanne

Hi richanne yes we did and sorry we never made the meet up xx

Teeker profile image
Teeker

That's ok I am still sending you lots of hugs xx

Patriciapmr profile image
Patriciapmr

Kate I know exactly how you're feeling, the same waves of grief happen to me every day and I can't stop crying, it's an awful feeling like someone has punched you in the stomach! We are all grieving right now when our loved ones are still with us, like you , I dread to think what I'll feel like when I actually lose Keith, I can't imagine anything worse than our situation, so so cruel.

I'm thinking of you Kate...

Love and hugs....Pat xx

Cuttercat profile image
Cuttercat in reply toPatriciapmr

Oh my Patriciapmr,

This is me, me, too. I cry every day. The waves come all the time. I'm with you and send hugs to you as well.

Cuttercat

Heady profile image
Heady

My arms are holding you very tight. It's normal to cry and grieve for your Mum. Be kind to yourself Kate.

Sending you much love.

Lots of love

Heady

Katet68 profile image
Katet68 in reply toHeady

Thank you lovely Heady, hugging you right back ❤️

Yvonneandgeorge profile image
Yvonneandgeorge

Kate I hate this PSP, my brother and his wife have been over from Cyprus for Christmas, they went home today, feel like I have lost another part of my heart. If George had not got this horrible illness, we would of retired in Cyprus, everything was ready to go, we were going to build a house up in the mountains, where George was born, all that went out of the window, a few years ago, I so want our lives to be different, but PSP has decided otherwise, not fair, George worked so hard to achieve our dreams, but they have disappeared, I can't even get him there for a short break, my heart is breaking xxxxxx. Kate sending you a massive hug, xxxxxx

Katet68 profile image
Katet68 in reply toYvonneandgeorge

And I'm sending you a huge hug back, it's all just too unfair isn't it. I'm so sad for you & all the other amazing people on this site but thank god we have each other xxxx

Cuttercat profile image
Cuttercat in reply toYvonneandgeorge

PSP is in charge of our retirement. There won't be any for us. Plans gone and being alone isn't very consoling.

My heart is breaking for you.

Cuttercat

abirke profile image
abirke

I understand . I did nto mis my mom alot until I realized I couldn't go to her to talk about this and that or what happened when we lived here or there. My brothers are alos both dead so I have no go=to people for my past. And though your mum is physically, still with us, I know how you feel missing the one you love so much. I miss B and cannot imagine what I am supposed to do when even his physical body finally succumbs. Will I get out and start doing things on my own....or will I continue this life of reclusiveness that seems to be holding me hostage....

Will you be free , relying on the wonderful memories you and your family has of your mum.....I am praying that you will.....That starts now....while she is still alive......

((Many HUGS))

AVB

PSPwife profile image
PSPwife

Sending a very warm virtual hug.

Sophiejo profile image
Sophiejo

Hi katie68

I am in the same situation with my beautiful mum and feel the same as you I don't know to cope with the grief I feel .

Sending you a great big hug xxx

Sophie

Katet68 profile image
Katet68 in reply toSophiejo

I'm so sorry to hear that. Sending you a hug right back xxx

Georgepa profile image
Georgepa

Where are my hugs then ?Don't want to be left out of the giant hug in !

Hugless Georgepa

easterncedar profile image
easterncedar in reply toGeorgepa

A big hug to you, too, George. You have brought so much comfort and so many smiles to me and my love and everyone else on this site, I send deep thanks along with that hug. Hang on. We are all in this together. Love, ec

Patriciapmr profile image
Patriciapmr in reply toGeorgepa

Aww George, sending you a big hug too! xx

sasmock profile image
sasmock

I'm so sorry. I can empathise, having gone through this with my dad. He's still with us, but only the shell of the person he was. I've found keeping a bottle of Rescue Remedy handy for those overwhelming moments can be very helpful. Also homoeopathic Ignatia can really take the edge off it (depending how you feel about homoeopathy, I know it's not for everyone). Sending hugs x

doglington profile image
doglington

Know what you mean. My lovely husband left a while ago and I care for a shadow of him. Still a lovely man but very different and I mourn the "real one" all the time.

Big hug from Jean x

Julieandrog profile image
Julieandrog

Hugs galore coming your way , my wise daughter says to me ' mum it's ok to cry' I feel for you kids as you worry about both parents, but we are stronger than you think!

Julie x

shasha profile image
shasha

(((())))) xxxx

1941mary profile image
1941mary

Dear Katie ,

I was so touched by your post and so related to it. I was born in 67 so just a little older .. mum is 75 and diagnosed last year with PSP. I have wept since and loosing her bit by bit is killing me.

How is your mum doing?

My mum too has been the most amazing mum you could wish for so seeing her struggling is heartbreaking .

It's the sadness I feel that's so hard ... you just want the old person back!

What helps me is knowing I'm doing all I can to care for her and make precious memories now even though she is very different .

I am learning to take care of myself also, which was very good advice from all our family on this site.

Please take care and I know how you feel completely .

Love Jude xx

MaddyS profile image
MaddyS

Big hug from me. Love Maddy xx

Cuttercat profile image
Cuttercat

Nothing like a hug, the best, so I'm sending my best back to you.

Hang in there.

Cuttercat

9790 profile image
9790

We're here for you. Hugs from California ❤

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