Feeling sad

[Katiebow]

Have just been for girlie time coffee with my lovely friends and came back feeling very sad and down as we chatted about all of the things they have been doing over the last few weeks. We have all been away but their experience totally different to ours, when I got back home I sat with my thoughts and I'm not sure that I can keep seeing my friends as it upsets me too much. Hope I feel differently tomorrow. Chin up Kate you silly girl this is no way to look at life but the melancholy seems to have set in over the past few days.

[abirke]

that's why you have us baby.....we all cry and feel your pain...you are not alone really ,really, really...I'm suffering a hangover cuz my baby girl talked to me......and told me she is having a hard time with daddy (I already knew that) . I told her (as gently as I could [I have a way of offending her]) to embrace dads new normal,

he has been a good christian man all his life and when he is free of this body he will go home to heaven.....he's the lucky one....and then I sat down and drank....I was not the lucky one...

have a good day darlin....

AVB

[Katiebow in reply to abirke]

Thanks for the support, funny how some days you feel so negative and the next you feel you can take on the world. Xx

[gypsywoman1947]

I know exactly how you feel, I have had two consecutive weepy days , finding it hard to cope and feel like cutting all my contacts . Hopefully this feeling will soon wear off and we'll pick ourselves up and soldier on. It's one pig of an illness isn't it for sufferers and carers and families involved.

[Katiebow in reply to gypsywoman1947]

Thanks for your support, hope it's a better day tomorrow and I can put all of these negative thoughts behind me. Xx

[NannaB]

I know Kate, it is hard hearing exciting things others have done but please don't stop seeing your friends, you may be on your own one day and will need friends to go out with, talk to and eventually laugh with. I use Facebook. I joined when a friend of mine told me how great my son's stag day photo's were. Her son had shown her them on Facebook. I hadn't seen them so I joined. Last month two friends of mine went on a tour of the Holy Land. They had never met, one was my old boss and the other a friend of 30 years. When they individually told me they were going I told them of the connection and they became friends. Every day they were posting photo's of the wonderful things they had seen, done and telling me of the great time they were having. At the same time another friend was in Turkey, sending similar daily posts. I was having a rotten time back here and feeling very sorry for both me and hubby. I never commented on any of these posts as I just didn't feel doing so. After about 10 days one of those in the Holy Land sent me a personal message asking if I was OK as they had both noticed I hadn't responded to any of their posts. I thought about the reply and said something like, although I am very pleased they are having a great time, it reminded me of the things C and I had planned for our retirement but can never do and it makes me sad. I told them I want them to see and do as much as they can, while they can but find it difficult to read about it at the moment but would like to hear about it when the returned.

In contrast, last year at our wine appreciation group a discussion took place about the 8 of us going to Italy on holiday. I told them I wouldn't be able to. I heard very little about it until a few weeks ago when we had our monthly group meeting (Nick named the Boozy, Tuesday women's group) and they apologied but asked if they could have a quick discussion about the holiday as they had to make last minute arrangements as they were going two days later. 10 minutes later we were back to chatting and laughing. When they returned, no one mentioned the holiday. After a while of general chat I asked if they actually went to Italy and did they all fall out as they weren't talking about it. One of them said that as they were all widows (7 of them) who had cared for their husbands, they remember what it was like when folk chatted about the wonderful time they were having/had when they were virtually housebound and feeling isolated. They remebered feeling sad and crying themselves to sleep after friends had visited with exciting travel tales etc. I told them I wanted to hear and the night turned into a rib breaking laughing session hearing of the antics of a group of batty women in their 60s and 70s invading Italy. One of them said that she knows the reason I can will be awful, but if they go again and the situation has changed, they want me to be with them...she added, if we they are still alive. As we walked home together, having a hug as we reach each other's houses, I felt really blessed to have such good friends.

So hang on to them Kate. We all need friends. It will be difficult sometimes, you will feel sad sometimes but there will be good times as well.

X

[Katiebow in reply to NannaB]

Thanks for some very sound advise, I know my friends are there for me if I ask and that I do need to keep contact. Non of them have similar circumstances ( although they do have there own various other problems in life but nothing quite as profound) I know I shouldn't dwell on things but there is such a lot going on at the moment as Ben has told his work that he won't be returning and we have all of our finances to sort, sell the car as I it is too big for me to handle. Feeling overwhelmed. Sure will be better when that is all in place. Xx

[NannaB in reply to Katiebow]

It is overwhelming sorting finances, cars etc. and as you get used to and gain confidence doing things Ben has been responsible for and making all the decisions, I'm sure things will seem more manageable. I'm going to spend the next couple of hours, with interruptions no doubt, doing paper work C has done in the past. Mustn't put it off any longer.

Take care.

X

[NannaB]

A quick PS to my last long post.... We only meet as a wine group once a month, see each other times but then it's tea or coffee.

X

[peterjones]

OH NANNA B HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TEA AND COFFEE THATS SACRILEGE MATE ASK THEM TO BRING AROUND PLENTY OF SAMPLE BOTTLES THAT SHOULD KEEP THE COLD OUT MATE SEE YER TAKE CARE PETER JONES QUEENSLAND AUSTRALIA PSP BLOKE REGARDS TO ME OLD MATE COLIN