Anger issues

Hi everyone out there

I wanted to ask if anyone else out there with PSP/CBD has a lot of angry spiteful times with name calling and hateful things said and almost screaming that goes on and then minutes may pass by and everything is back to normal?

Maybe it is just Roy's way of dealing with the frustration, maybe it's just the CBD.

At first I would retaliate a little and be very upset but I have learnt to almost ignore the outbursts and try to act even more lovingly...it takes up so much energy and causes so much stress to us both especially when it's first thing in the morning or in the middle of the night but luckily it passes and then it is quiet.I think the love wins!

D x

17 Replies

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  • I do not have any trouble like that thank goodness I have been very placid \\ good luck to you and I hope things get better for the two of you as time goes by as you say its frustrating for him being the bread winner so to speak then you find that you have been graduly taken over and can no longer do these things that's what I felt \\ take care peter jones queensland Australia psp sufferer

  • Hello Peter Jones, so good to see you posting again. I was worried you had tried out a few more acrobatics. No more bruises I hope. Colin is about the same but he gave me a very disturbed night so I'm going to bed when the sitter arrives this afternoon. I feel as if I've been to a party and drunk too much; not a drop has touched my lips.

    Take care.

    X

  • it would not be so bad if you had been to a party mate

    would it at least you could suffer for having a good time mate couldn't you poor old carers \\ never mind mate you will be rewarded in heaven peter jones queensland Australia psp sufferer

  • Oh how I hate the outbursts. If I'm tired or not feeling 100% I do tend to bite back wich seems to make the situation worse. If Brian starts and I'm ok I just look at him over the top of my glasses (just like my mum) and say nothing. I soon get the desired result of an apology. Janexx

  • Hi Den,

    Bob used to do that quite often. Just yell at me for nothing, get very angry and leave the room.

    At first I would just be stunned and try to figure out what just happened. What I learned worked (after the fact, never really could figure out what would set him off) was give him some space and then try to talk quietly and calmly to him. Most of the time he never even remembered being angry. Thankfully that has passed and he hasn't done that in several months.

    Hopefully this too, will pass for you.

    Lynn

  • Hope so Lynn.....

  • Hi DenB, S use to have toddler like temper tantrums, before we knew anything about PSP, they were getting very bad. How I lasted, I don't know, a sense that something wasn't right I think! A silent stroke, put paid to that phase. Now we just apathy! Although, if he gets really upset, I do get sworn at, very unpleasantly. Still get upset, after all I do for him, he can call me those names. Trying to take it on the chin, but find it very hard some days. Sorry, no idea how to get through it, bar the simple fact you do!!!!

    Lots of love

    Heady

  • Thanks Heady,

    I know that he doesn't really mean what he says and the way he says it.It's almost like a different person that comes out of him at times......never mind, thankfully the other person doesn't stay long!

    Den x

  • I have been really really really clear that I will not be yelled at. I think I picture Bob as a young boy and set really firm limits on bad talk. I have said in my most threatening school teacher voice " LISTEN! you better be REAL Nice to me because you NEED ME!!!! " That has worked in the past. Or "I can't hear you when you yell".. Or I turn my back and walk away. I think it is important to not let him abuse me. Usually back off is the best idea. Lots of space....I think the confusion is what sets my Bob off. Just gets too much input at once...Although the pill taking scenes and shower scenes are very tough and confusing.

    Good luck. If this is new behavior for him then of course it is the illness...however...it is still bad behavior and walking away is the best first defense. Even though someone is confused and sick etc. They still need to control themselves. And that really is possible if you can be very consistently clear that you will not let yourself be abused.

    Jill

  • Hi zjillian

    I think I might have to try the school teacher approach....I wanted to be one once!!

    Thanks den x

  • I have be careful there, his ex was a teacher!!!

    Lots of love

    Heady

  • Hi Jill, must admit, I am trying this approach, telling him extremely firmly, not to speak to me like that! Have stopped some of it, well some of the most offensive words have been changed. On the other hand, if he can't vent his angry and frustration to me, who can he? I would just prefer if I wasn't the whipping boy and he blamed at that damned thing that caused all this, PSP,!!!!!!!

    Lots of love

    Heady

  • Like there isn't enough difficulties with PSP they have to add these personality quirks! Mum was tactless at the best of times but now her manners and tact can sometimes be dreadful. Shes hissed a few times at me things like 'you're getting on my tits' and 'you need to buck up your ideas' and telling me my brother who rings once in a blue moon and rarely ever visits is the only one that cares about her (this was said as I was showering her!). It used to make me really cross, especially if I was tired or I'd been up and down all day like a blue assed fly tending to her constant impulsive needs. I admit to regretfully losing my patience quite often and berating some behaviours. But thankfully sometimes her rude comments are quite funny, especially when aimed at my dad (her ex of 25 years), and my dad and I can both laugh about it afterwards. You do have to try and remember they don't mean to hurt and they dont mean to snipe. Time out is a good idea I think, go elsewhere away from them and try and relax (and have a glass of wine!!!) then a bit later all is forgotten. biscuits help too I find ...

  • Do you know Kelly55,some of the things that my husband has hissed venomously at me has made me laugh out loud, because they were so bad and out of character......and that's why I know he doesn't mean any of it !

    Den x

  • When we first found out that G had CBD, 2012, there were times when he too was angry and would scream at me. Not words mind you, just top of the lungs yells. Once I told that was enough. We spoke with the Dr. Next visit. He now takes clonapan. Which has stopped the yelling.

  • My husband has been on clonazapam and escitalopram almost since the beginning and t he dose has gone up and down depending on his mood.The latest tablet they have given him is a1/2 of a tiny blue tablet called aripiprazole I think this has helped. d x

  • Yes this has happened very hard to cope with and very hurtful to loved ones, I know it is nor ment but it still hurts. I try walking away and ignoring situations as replys only make life worse.

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