Hello everyone. I haven't posted in a long time but really feel the need for some understanding from those who know . Where do I begin? I spent a week with my parents about 3 weeks ago and living with them 24/7 was a real eye opener. It was important for me to see their daily lives rather than popping in for a few hours over a weekend. Where do I start? I'm not sure who to worry about more, my mum or dad. My Dad has developed new symptoms since the previous month I saw him.he now can't talk unless prompted to do so, he wolfs his food to such a degree it frightens me, he is starting incontinence, Botox for eyelids drooping is becoming less effective, constipation a real problem, and inappropriate laughter at the wrong times. His personality is nothing like the Dad I grew up with, I find his vulnerability heartbreaking. On the other hand, my mum is not coping in any way. It's like she hates my father and can't see beyond the PSP. She screams at him constantly and no amount of telling from myself or my sister can get through to her that it's the PSP not Dad being purposely annoying. I know she is terrified and is like a rabbit in the headlights but she won't listen to anyone. She doesn't want to know anything about PSP. I've told her about this site, the association, but she is in complete denial. I am concerned about Mum not even helping Dad maintain his simple physical dignity. I wish I could see her stepping up to start "caring" for my dad but she seems totally paralysed. I know compared to many of you on this site we are in the early stages but I find dealing with the emotional side of the practicalities of Dad's caring so hard. To top it all, I lost a very dear friend suddenly recently and I'm feeling in a fog that I can't get out of. The one beautiful thing to
Come out of it was that I was in my parents kitchen and dad was standing there like he does as if he was lost just after I had heard about my friends death. He suddenly opened his arms and held me like a child for what felt like forever. He has lost so much ability to be empathetic and yet at that point my old Dad was still there . I will treasure that memory forever. Sorry to have written so much but I really feel the need to talk. Thank- you for reading, Nicky x x.