My mother passed away Sunday am. It was peaceful and she was as comfortable as anyone could have been. Family was around all Saturday and those who wanted to speak with her were given the opportunity. Earlier in the week friends gathered in her bedroom and we visited for hours on end - just about things going on which kept her from thinking she was alone.
I had dreaded her death since the day she was diagnosed. When my father passed away from cancer in 96 he had a horrific death. Thinking that she would have difficulties from pneumonia or develop sepsis kept me up for months worrying what I would do to curtail pain and suffering.
She was in bed only the last five days. She was not able to eat or drink during that period of time. Although she had fought this disease with a vengeance she seemed at ease letting go bit by bit. All her cares were done just as they had been done over the years. I am confident that being touched let her know how much everyone cared.
She is no longer trapped in a body that held her as a prisoner. She needn't struggle with eating or swallowing. I am hopeful that she now exists in a place where people she had to say goodbye to are and that she doesn't have to experience the pain and angst of PSP any longer.
She was able to remain with us until her death. With the help of loving caregivers she died with her dignity in tact. To them I am grateful.
I share this with you hoping that it will give those who are struggling a bit of strength in knowing that fear of the unknown is healthy. Leaving his world I believe is no small feat. Being able to go peacefully and surrounded by those who love you is the final gift we can give. Know that all that you do makes a difference.
I will share a blog with you when I get my thoughts together. Until then thank you for caring for your PSP'er.
Kath