Masturbating after Prostatectomy- how soon?

[Mikeydc65]

I am 54, I had a complete prostatectomy for stage two, Gleason’s 7, cancer two weeks ago, the surgery was laparoscopic. My husband and I decided to move slowly back into sex by masturbating. I was able to orgasm, with a partial erection but has major bladder spasms and blood in the urine later that evening. Anyone else have a similar experience?

[Daddybearblue]

Hey Mike welcome to our club. Hope you have a successful journey no two of us are the same or have the same path but my robotic surgeon told me NO sex of any kind for a month. Dr took everything so I went straight to Tri-Mix no pumps or other ED devices. Good luck on your journey.

[Mikeydc65 in reply to Daddybearblue]

Thanks, the doc, has given me a script of tadalafil and I start physical therapy in a week. He said he was able to save the nerves so I am hoping for some recovery and will be able to achieve an erection and orgasm. As you said, I am sure it will be a journey.

[Daddybearblue in reply to Mikeydc65]

For me it's shots for now and after several months, six, if PSA'S show no cancer hiding anywhere else in my body there will be penile implants then there are erections. I begged and pleaded to please spare nerves but he could not because the cancer was already present in nerves. Good luck with everything. The whole thing is an emotional draining experience with all kinds of "new" that you will encounter. I wish you well.

[Tall_Allen]

Mulhall says that masturbation can begin as soon as the catheter is removed. Blood in urine and bladder spasms are common post-prostactectomy.

[jimreilly in reply to Tall_Allen]

I respect Tall Allen's knowledge a lot, but if it were me and the effort to come seemed to make the bladder spasms happen or get worse I'd lay off a while longer. Maybe you could enjoy getting partially erect without having to come right now. By the way, being able to get partially erect so soon is a good sign for future ability to get even harder--congrats! And I hope you've already talked with your doc about therapy/drugs/vacuum pumps and other possibilities. Don't wait for him/her to bring it up.

[Leeaussie5]

Mikey. Welcome. This is a very tough part of our lives. But things do get better.

I had my first dry orgasm the day the catheter was removed. I was told you should expect bladder spasms, pain and a bit of blood for up to 6 weeks. And I had all three. For anal receptive, I followed the NHS guideline of 6 weeks (it’s not perfect but the only one around).

With viagra, within 12 weeks I was having erections I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager.

My worst problem was performance anxiety. The worry that things wouldn’t work ensures they won’t. But that too passed.

Best of luck with your recovery.

[Blueroccco in reply to Leeaussie5]

Hi Lee, you mentioned being anal receptive. Did you actually had anal sex? If yes how was without the prostate? Many thanks and happy new year Fabs

[Leeaussie5 in reply to Blueroccco]

I didn’t hugely notice the difference. This could be because my prostate was on the small side - about 75% of the average. I took it very very gently to start, being concerned about pain. But it was ok. Now after 4 months I’m back to normal.

[redcard1988 in reply to Leeaussie5]

Hi Lee, I just had a prostatectomy and dr said he saved some of my nerves so I'm trying to be hopeful i'll be able to attain erection again. I've tried the Viagra generic but it's not working for me. Dr said it may take up to a yr for it to work. I still have sexual attraction and try to have an orgasm. I'm not sure I know how to achieve that. How do you know and go about achieving an orgasm now. I used to achieve via release of ejaculation but now that is gone. Any advice. This is such a depressing time for me.

[Leeaussie5 in reply to redcard1988]

Hi redcard. Welcome. I fully understand about the depressing time. I had the lowest lowest moments in my life after my diagnosis. A few things brought me through it.

First my rehab team. I got a sexual rehab dr who I am still working with. I also got a counsellor and a physio. All are a really important part of my recovery.

My sexual rehab dr put me on daily cialis 5mg. This keeps the blood feed to the penis so that you don’t loose capability waiting for your nerves to wake up. But I found out before surgery that cialis and poppers really don’t mix. Poppers totally put the erection to sleep. This led to me discovering Pre surgery that you can have an Orgasm without a hard on. I love orgasms.

I also play a lot. I never noticed before but I realised a lot of guys were playing without great or any erections. If I was topping, I didn’t mind a lot in the past. Since I also like bottoming this meant I could still plan a good time.

It’s a bit weird jerking off a soft penis. But it does work much the same.

Remember your nerves are really close to the sides of your prostate. Getting your prostate out meant that the nerves got stressed. These things are incredibly sensitive. They will take time to recover - up to two years.

The other guys on this site are all sharing your pain.

Best of luck

Take care

[redcard1988 in reply to Leeaussie5]

Thanks for replying Lee. It really helps getting perspective from someone who understands what you're going through. I've been taking a daily 20 mg generic of Viagra. Not sure if this would be the same as taking Cialis. I just remember the Nurse Practitioner saying to take one a day but not really giving me a reason other than I should not take more than 5 of these pills at once for erection. I later see my Dr and he doesn't even mention taking 1 a day other than to say, the pills may not do anything for me yet. He suggested Trimix. My fear on using Trimix (other than my fear of needles) is that it could impede my possible recovery if it does come back.

You mention a sexual rehab dr. Is that something I could look into that you think would help me in dealing with this?

I'll try to figure this orgasm thing out.

I'm just frustrated

[Leeaussie5 in reply to redcard1988]

I would definitely recommend a sexual rehab doctor.

The gold standard is Dr John Mulhall at MSKCC in NYC. My urologist in Australia describes him as brilliant. Mulhall has done some useful videos available on YouTube. You can find these searching his name.

He has 8 practice nurses to help him including one dedicated to gay patients. Maybe if you rang his office they could recommend someone in your area.

[redcard1988 in reply to Leeaussie5]

Thanks Lee. You've been very helpful. I'll check him out and see what his office can recommend. I really do appreciate your quick responses

[Sco41hd in reply to Leeaussie5]

I just had a prostatectomy on the 14th catheter still in.. was reading on this blog and I had to join to say that I instantly feel better to the point t of tears after reading the things you have posted. THANK YOU!!!!!!

[Daddybearblue in reply to redcard1988]

You will know when you have orgasm. For me it is even more intense that ejaculating, and on Tri-Mix it's still up for more play and I have another orgasm. Yee-Haw, then I'm done. Wow.

[redcard1988 in reply to Daddybearblue]

Thanks for replying Daddybearblue. I'll have to figure this orgasm thing out. I feel frustrated without one.

[michael42301]

I didn't start masturbating for about a month. It took about 30 minutes to get off the first time because the old much-tried and true method didn't work anymore with a dick that was not very hard. But I figured it out. When I went back for my 6-week checkup, the surgeon told me to play with myself twice a day.

[Mikeydc65]

I just went back for a check up and the doc prescribed trimix. We tried it in the office on the lowest dosage and I had the best erection in years (and I didn't think I had an issue before the surgery). He suggested this for the short term as I did have nerve spraring surgery. I have been able to masturbate on a regular basis even with a semi hard penis. I will say that with the tri mix there was a bit of pain and it may have been from the fact that I have not had an erection in two months.

[Daddybearblue in reply to Mikeydc65]

Tri-Mix works well for me. I experienced some pain as well. I tried reducing dosage by .05 and no pain. The erection was not quiet as firm, still penetrates and just to see went back to URO dose and there was not the pain. Even with inject ease sometime bend a needle and sometime the spot of injection is not perfect spot. Noticed this can effect erection.

[Daddybearblue in reply to Mikeydc65]

I was told that the pain came from the Alprostodil, one of the 3 drugs. It was suggested I reduce dose ( my URO told me if I needed to reduce dose do so by .05 ml). It helped me get rid of all pain. If you still have nerves Tri-Mix will help in penile rehab. Great, I love having nice firm erections too.