Telling friends

[Pj10128]

We haven’t told very many people of his diagnosis or treatment but the responses have been strange. People almost discount it like it’s not a “real” cancer because it is so treatable. Almost like an antibiotic will cure it.

[YostConner]

Those comments come from a place of hope and support—but ignorance. I learned I had to say either “thank you” or “unfortunately, we didn’t catch this early.”

[Pj10128 in reply to YostConner]

It’s strange for me because I’m a hairdresser and live through many clients illnesses. One had to shave many women’s heads and experience their tears etc. so I just expected a little more compassion.

[jimreilly in reply to Pj10128]

and you deserve a little more! some of the (lack of) response is certainly ignorance, and some of it may be the kind of distancing some people do when confronted with the pain of others. Here you will find plenty of support and info. I hope you are getting some decent support from those closest to you!

[dale112]

When I told friends that I had cancer, they asked what kind. Said prostate cancer. A few said, "You scared me, I thought it was something serious. I quit telling people. Told family, and that was it. My personal opinion society looks at prostate cancer as a very curable cancer, so what's the problem?

[Cubbiesfan]

Others may be ho-hum, but I’m glad you shared this with us. Here we know that PC is no picnic - for any man and his partner. So all the best. Keep us up to date.

[Pj10128]

The first treatment is Tuesday and every day I get more anxious. I don't think he believes it will work even though he's going to a highly respected radiation oncologist.I want to go with him to all 25 sessions but they haven't let us schedule them yet. So I'm stressed out about rearranging my appointments at work without loosing clients.He says he's tired but he also takes pain meds for his back. So I can't tell if he's more tired from the cancer or if its psychosomatic because the diagnosis is real to him now. I thought the tiredness came into play due the external beam radiation.

[ctarleton in reply to Pj10128]

After the first 1-2 sessions it often quickly becomes pretty routine. You know what "not" to worry about. His mind may get more into juggling his body rhythms to get a good bladder/colon status at the start of each session than anything else. If you anticipate any transportation issues, perhaps you could check around now with others, and talk with them for some rides help, and also for some emotional support. Share and spread the effort. Maybe ask for some hugs, too. We all need good hugs.

Charles

[Pj10128 in reply to ctarleton]

Thank you. Fortunately we live about 15 blocks from the hospital. They make you drink the water when you get there. And who ever heard of smooth move tea? lol

[Terp2017]

People are silly. At least you have a high cure rate cancer, like it won't effect the rest of your life. Or it's not visible so it can't be that bad.

This effects your sexual being, makes you question your worth and desirability as a gay man. Don't let anyone discount your feelings.

[NashTim]

Hey PJ...…...I didn't tell anybody ( well, my husband knew) for the first couple of years after I was diagnosed. You know, you hear the word cancer and its like FUCK ME. I operate a gay bar/club/restaurant here in Nashville and every now and then I get a customer come in and tell me that they just found out they have PC, so I decided to spill the beans and let people know about me, not on Facebook or anything but as you know tell a Queen and they tell everybody, eventually guys came to me and said they have it also, I even discovered one of my cohorts was on this site and I had no idea. It was amazing how many of my friends, acquantainces and customers have told me about themselves. I don't advertise that fact that I have PC but I don't deny it either. People are weird like that...