Is anyone else really feeling the effects of covid or is it just me ? ☹️

[Positive2022]

Hi all

Sending virtual hugs ♥️♥️♥️ as the title says really. Most of you know my history so I won't bore you with all the details but I have really struggled with serious postnatal depression and my surgery, fertility treatment and all that has happened this year has been almost too much from a psychological point of view.

I had a birth debrief recently - the hospital apologised for my poor postnatal care and agreed I should have had a transfusion which would have helped prevent all the complications I have had.

Fast forward to now... since covid, every door has shut. I have been bounced from service to service and making no headway. I was referred back to the fertility clinic by my GP in July. After going to and from my surgery and the fertility clinic several times, finally located my referral this afternoon only to be told all services are stood down. I may get seen, if I am lucky but it will be a V long wait and possibly indefinitely. No timeframe.

The local therapy service are discharging me as they have said they can't provide the therapy I need due to covid restrictions. I didn't request to be discharged. In fact, I asked them to make it clear in any letter sent to my GP the reason for being discharged and requested I receive a copy.

I am proactive in self management but also realise that I need help.

I had a post op check today and just took every advantage telling the nurse how I feel and she is writing to my GP so that is something I guess.

Perhaps I am just upset after the debrief as it was traumatic reliving everything.

Hope everyone is doing okay. Sending love as always xxx

[QT314]

Hey Poppy149,

I don't have any advice but wanted to say hi and send you lots of hugs.

Covid has aggravated situations that were already hard for everybody but I have to say that I've read some of your posts and everything that has been happening to you from your birthing traumatic experience onwards is particularly shitty. You've gone through so so much that I'm constantly surprised that you can still be so articulate and think so rationally about everything that's going on.

I need to go but I wanted to tell you that you have every right to be upset, disappointed etc. And that I'm always amazed by your strength.

Virtual hugs xx

[Positive2022 in reply to QT314]

Thank you so much for your kind words. You have given me a real lift. Sometimes it just feels like there is a huge brick wall in the way of everything and despite tiny cracks it's impossible to knock down. I have found this year v hard. Sending love and BIG hugs ♥️

[GemX81]

I didn't want to read and run and I hope you get the support and help you need and deserve. Just thought I would share my experience so that you know you are not alone. I have suffered from anxiety and depression (which I think I have suffered from if I'm completely honest since the beginning of my thirties and I am now 39). My depression was brought on by the fact we struggled to conceive our first baby and suffered 2 miscarriages before finally getting our first baby boy in our arms. My pregnancy with him was an anxious time but I just put it down to hormones and just thought I needed to be stronger. I remember after my first was born suffering and my HV said that she thought I was depressed but I brushed it aside. I had had a difficult birth experience where I didn't receive the best of care (high blood pressure, induced labour and then emcs as baby got stuck - due to the fact they didn't monitor me properly and giving me pethidine much too late into labour) Then we decided to try for baby number 2. I experienced another miscarriage before getting pregnant with my second son. I was very anxious and would try to talk to my midwife who kept brushing off my anxiety as a normal part of pregnancy. Even when I had two spots of bleeding given my history couldn't understand why I would be worried. At the end of my pregnancy I developed high blood pressure and had a planned csection. My care was much better however they kept me in hospital for 10 days. And being away from my first Son that did nothing to help me. It was then that everything came to ahead. I was constantly on edge and paranoid that something was going to happen to my children. I was worrying uncontrollably and suffering from panic attacks. I seeked support from my GP who was fantastic and I had CBT which helped me get back to me. I still have periods of anxiety but nothing like before.

Sorry for the ramble but I really hope you manage to get the help you need and I just wanted for you to know you're not alone.

[Positive2022 in reply to GemX81]

Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to respond and share your experience. I am so sorry you have had such a rough time too. I hope you are making a good recovery and have had good support from your GP. I think that's the problem i've had with covid. I have had to fight so hard for so long just to get the basics of care but with all the stumbling blocks in the way and virtually no psychological support I have really struggled. I am seriously thinking of speaking with my GP just to find out where we go from here but i'm not sure what else she can do realistically and I also find it so hard talking about something so personal over the phone. As they can't give a time when they call, i'm either with my daughter out and about or often in a position where I can't open up properly. I am so grateful for your message, thank you for sharing. Sometimes I think perhaps I am over reacting, dust myself off and move on but other times things just feel too broken. Take care and sending love and BIG hugs xxx