I am 8 weeks in and feeling so defeated today....
Our little one is still not gaining enough weight.
Trying everything - formula, breastfeeding, tongue tie, cranial osteopathy....
So exhausted and emotional now after so many weeks working so hard....
I know others might be also going through this.
Not looking for any specific advice - just wanted to message for anyone else going through this so they don't feel alone!
Xxx
Totally feel your pain, my first was a tough journey and I felt quite overwhelmed with it. From my experience, I found that the health visitor wasn't that helpful and one week wanted my baby feeding more and to see me weekly and the next week she couldn't even remember my whether my baby was a girl or boy and no recollection of asking me to increase her feeds. I was super frustrated and then we went into lockdown so she didn't even get weighed and still is doing fine at nearly 4 years old now.
So if they're pushing for faster weight gain, sometimes they can forget that each baby is individual. If your baby is staying on their percentile and having plenty of wet nappies, Wenden if weight gain is slow, I would try and give yourself a bit of a break and relax.
Baby number 2 I only got weighed a handful of times, she's was tiny on the 2nd percentile, but I felt much more confident she was growing, peeing and hitting her milestones.
If you're really worried baby isn't getting enough, there's absolutely nothing wrong with topping up with a bit of formula either, or if you need a break from breastfeeding for your own wellbeing.
My second I was much more chilled about dad giving her a bottle so I could have an early night or a bath, and felt zero guilt about it. I was definitely a better mum for having a break.
We switched out one bottle feed instead of breastfeed in the evening so it didn't affect my supply, she would have one bottle in the evening and I did all the other feeds, we pace fed so it was closer to breastfeeding and she didn't get a preference.
Good luck the first 12 weeks were definitely the hardest for me and then it did get easier, at 6 months I looked back and was amazed at how it was second nature now, it's a new skill you're both learning so be easy on yourself xxx
I felt the exact same - I’m 3 months into BF and trust me it does get better. Have you tried speaking with your local breastfeeding clinic? They should also help with bottle feeding mamas too. Mine were amazing, they even did a home visit. Just know that you’re doing a great job mama! You’re not alone x
Ah thanks so much - trying to connect with as much support as possible. I think now that we are still struggling at the 8 week mark it just hit me....
Thanks for your kind message xxx
Hi Eb20, yes breastfeeding is tough, we were referred to NICU at 2 weeks old because she put birth weight back on they said we had to give extra formula feeds she either refused or was sick. Then we saw a feeding specialist who spotted tongue tie and fixed it at 3 weeks old they said we didn't need to do extra feeds as long as she is gaining weight even if its a small amount its fine. She is still not putting enough weight on according to health visitor who is coming round regularly to monitor weight now 9 weeks old. We had our 6 week check last week and the GP said she is following a trend which is 0.4th percentile so it's well below average but its not an issue as long as she continues to follow trend doesn't have any dips and she still has lots of wet and dirty nappies and is alert not to worry about it. Some babies are just small. I told health visitor this but she's still insistent on monitoring her weight and keeps asking about my mental health like maybe I'm not feeding her because I can't cope which is BS as I feed on demand and she is very demanding 🤣. Do you have a feeding clinic in your area you could get a referral to, they were a great help to me. Just remember you know you baby best and you know what they need, your doing an amazing job just hang in there x
This actually sounds quite similar to our situation - he is feeding and I have no pain etc. The only issue is he isn't gaining as much weight as they would like. His head percentile is a lot higher than his body percentile so the GP said this indicates he isn't taking in enough food. Makes sense....
Same situation here - formula makes him so sick, he is vomiting it up and it's coming out his nose etc. Very upsetting. I have just changed all the bottles in an attempt to get less air and hopefully help with the feeding.
Health visitor/GP/ Feeding clinics all have a different view!
He is currently half way between 2nd and 9th percentile....
Sounds like you have been doing everything you can!
Thanks for sharing your experience xxx
Is he following the same trend? If so I wouldn't worry about his weight as long as they are following the same line its fine. Ours also measured with a bigger head in the 70th percentile but GP said it completely normal just measure again in a month to check it's not jumped to high x
Yes he is following the same line. So depending on who I speak to they say it's fine or yesterday the GP said she wanted to up the feeds to 'whatever you can get into him' in terms of formula....
So hence my feeling of being deflated and confused....
We are in the 0.4th percentile for weight which is well below you, midwife, feeding specialist and GP all say its not an issue as she is following a trend. If you are making him sick with the extra formula then he clearly is getting what he needs so I wouldn't worry. If he stops having wet nappies or becomes less alert then there is an issue. X
Thanks so much - that is our feeling too. Xxx
Oh love, I feel your pain. Me and bub really struggled with feeding. We started combi feeding and in hindsight it probably confused him. But he was never full after BF so we had no choice really. The day I decided to give up at 10.5 weeks and move solidly on to formula was the hardest day - but 100% the right decision for us as literally the next day he was full, sleeping better and much happier.
I tried osteopathy - the lady spent most of the session telling me that his issues feeding were probably due to me having the covid vaccine while pregnant 🙄
I saw a BF consultant who was amazing but as soon as she was gone it all went to shit again.
I tried every different position but eventually I had to recognise that it wasn't working for us.
Do what you need to do xxx
Yes this was the case with my first...I ended up mostly BF her for comfort but her main source was formula.
This 2nd baby just can't stomach the formula so in a bit of a pickle.
It sounds like you had such a positive experience after your breastfeeding journey - all you want is your baby to be fed and happy and there are a few routes to do this.
Thanks for sharing. Xxx
It's literally the most stressful thing when they aren't eating properly.
Have you tried lactose free formula? Is it the latch that she is struggling with? Or lots of vomiting? Maybe reflux or silent reflux - gaviscon for babies can help with this xx
Mainly wind/reflux I think. Lactose free formula didn't make any difference...but it could be an allergy for sure x
It got easier after 12 weeks. I struggled so much. But if your son isn't gaining weight even after formula id definitely consult with your pediatrician.
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