I was seen in the emergency gynae clinic last week for multiple gynae issues but scan normal. Phew !!
This really is all I went for but the doctor I saw really upset me. After giving me the good news about my scan, she then followed with (very abruptly) 'do you want more children?'
I said yes as this is the truth. But it is not the best time for me. Fertility problems treated with clomid 2017. Traumatic birth 2018 resulting in large postpartum haemorrhage and poorly healed episiotomy. Currently awaiting surgery for this. As a result of being so unwell, I developed PND. All treatment on hold due to COVID!
This doctor then went on to say I need to be trying now otherwise given my age and fertility history there will be very little hope. It was so blunt and negative. She also contradicted what was told to me in terms of my diagnosis at the fertility clinic. When I questioned this she said 'well if you have been told differently i'm sorry.' Then went on to question why I have been listed for surgery and implied not to wait for this just to crack on. When i explained (feeling very embaressed) that to make a baby at this time is actually near impossible as it's so painful she didn't bat an eyelid, only stated to just get on with it and have a natural birth next time as this will sort the poorly healed episiotomy site. I burst into tears as I had to re live the trauma of the postpartum haemorrhage, saying that I would not want to risk this happening again. My own GP said to go for a c section (and she has a background in obstetrics) if I ever did have another.
I left feeling confused and very despondent about my chances.
I am trying to do what I can given the current situation in terms of keeping happy and healthy but this just feels like a kick in the teeth when actually is should have been a positive step in view of the scan results.
Hubby and I do want the chance of having another but this has to be at the right time for us. I had made a plan to get as fit and healthy as possible whilst awaiting surgery.
Now I'm really worried.
I'm thinking of calling my GP to chat everything through as so just feel so upset 😥