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Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Always upset when I see my Father’s other women

Roukaya profile image
14 Replies

I hope you are all well.

I have explained that I was carer and Attorney of my late Father’s Estate but prior to his demise his was involved with one of his tenants for ten years .

When I relocated I was shocked and dismayed to see he had another woman who was abusing financially a vulnerable elderly adult .

I did my best to protect my Father and all that he had worked for by which I did not work in my Forties and despite me protecting my Father and me and Mum from the other woman who had come for everything when I see her in town it breaks me to see she carries on with her life and my Father is gone .

I am trying to find work and study Wills and Probate but seeing the other woman makes my life painful

14 Replies
Marnie22 profile image

Hi. Have sent you a message. All the best. 🙂🌸

Sunfloweronline profile image

I’m so sorry that you are feeling upset R, and I’m going to be saying a prayer for you to garner yourself and push her out of your mind 🌻🌹⭐️

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

Hi Roukaya,

I know it is desperately hard for you seeing this woman around, but you really must let her go with a bit of forgiveness. It will poison your mind if you allow it to do so, and you will become very bitter.

I know you have so much on your plate right now, but positive thinking my dear. Try to let go of the negativity, I know its easy for me to say, but I resented my Late husband for many years and was allowing his Gaslighting to affect me from beyond the grave. No longer. I decided that he would no longer affect me. or the children, and it worked.

Could you move, perhaps? A new place and a new area could help, it has helped me, even if I haven't seen much of it yet due to lockdown!

I really want to see you happy and working in your speciality, and I would love to meet you sometime.

Cheers, Midori

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Midori

Good Afternoon I hope you are well

I am taking counselling sessions and I will mention this in the next counselling session

It is very true what you say to let the past go as my Father now gone and the other woman can no longer cause me the pain she once did

As you rightly say it is for me to try to pass the last exam and find a years work experience wherever it is

I hope you are keeping well

I would also like to meet you as you have become a kind supportive friend to me

How did you spend your Easter

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired in reply to Roukaya

I spent it very quietly with my son, the weather here was nice (no snow!), and I always feel better when the sun is shining!

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Midori

Good evening I hope you are well

I think it is for me to continue with the path that I am on

I am applying for a legal placement near to me and I will also try nation wide ad well

I would go anywhere just to requalify and make my path

I am having counselling and I will hopefully be able to explain my setbacks

It is hard to keep believing in yourself when I hardly hear a word with the CVS I am sending out

But if you have sufficient self belief and self confidence it is for you to keep trying until you reach your goal

in reply to Midori

Great Post. resentment will eat away at you and eventually make you ill, don’t let her do that to you, roukaya , you are better than that, listen to. Midoris wise words

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Good Afternoon I realise you are very right and I did not tell my Mum I had seen her today

She came into my Fathers life to ruin him but J protected him until he died so even though she tried to take as much and she could in the end I succeeded over her

You are right that this terrible woman is really in the past with Dad gone it is for me to carve out an independent path for myself

I hope you are keeping well

Imaaan profile image
Imaaan in reply to Midori

Beautifully said

Luna_Child profile image

That would upset me as well. My parents are still alive and together but I will tell you if I had to see either of them with someone else if they were not together anger would ooze from every orafice of my being.

waitingame7 profile image

This must be painful for you Rouyaka, and I do understand. I have family members who sided with my mother (who was abusive to me and my brother.)I think you have to make a conscious choice as to how you proceed. As others have said it's in the you let that still affect you, or do you somehow come to terms with it and "move on".....I hate that term but it's the only one I think sums it up. The pain will still be there when you see the other woman, as it is when family members speak to me, but I tell myself that they won't get the better of me. Anger and resentment will only destroy you. Living well is the best revenge.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to waitingame7

Good Afternoon I hope you are well

I think the life of my Father and the other women will always haunt me

I did what I could to protect him from her as she was only after his money and if I had not intervened we would have been ruined

I think if I can requalify back in Wills and Probate this would help me enormously to put the past and the life of my Father behind me

She came to take everything from my Father and set him ruined

I always tell my Mum how much I have done to protect Dad but she says this is your duty

Given the personal sacrifices I made , I now find myself alone and seeking to find a new purpose in life

They say Sucess is the best revenge and may you should lead to your life to the best way you can

Thank you for your understanding advice

waitingame7 profile image

You did well to protect your dad from this woman, it's a shame your mum hasn't recognised this but I hope it gives you some satisfaction that it could have been far worse had it not been for your intervention. Good luck with your applications.

Hi RoukayaThere isn't much else I can say because you've already been given sound advice. All I can say you have done so well to get through everything you have been through. You should be really proud of yourself for protecting your Dad from this woman. You are a wonderful daughter, please don't let this woman spoil your life just like she wanted to do to your Dad. Good luck with your studies and also finding work.

All my love Lynne xxxx ❤️🤗💜🤗

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