My Mother’s endless issues - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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My Mother’s endless issues

Roukaya profile image

I thought I had found peace from my Mother but her behaviour is getting worse.

Apparently the person who accompanied my Mother to the day care centre has been harassing the driver of the vehicle which mounted the pavement and knocked Mum over .

She clearly gets herself mixed up at time’s with the wrong people and as I am far away every day there is a drama with her .

She is behaving like my Father in his old age

They meet the wrong people

The person was a Good Samaritan but seems he is a very different person

22 Replies

Ignore! Ignore! Ignore!

Don’t get involved!!!!!

Focus on your own life and needs, make contact with agencies that can help you!!!!

💕🌈📿⛪️

Hello

How are you

I think this is what I should do

My Mother has a habit of befriending any one who can help her

She will do as she likes and then tell me if her fears

Like the man she was involved with and now again with this Good Samaritan who may simply pretend to be a Good Samaritan in order to extract financial gain from my Mother

She asked him for help to repair one of her properties and so she will have to deal with what happens to her

I spent my forties caring for my elderly Father and he would get himself into trouble

This time as my Mother shouts and corrects me she should deal with it

I agree with what you have said

It never ends

Let me know if you actually do get help to deal with your problems and issues!!! Call for help Roukaya, right now!!💕

Please explain what you mean by call for help right now

Social services can help you to access correct support. Crisis, befriending services, talk to a nurse attached to your doc surgery!

I wasn’t suggesting that it’s urgent R! Just trying to give you impetus!! I hope that you can get yourself into a more positive frame of mind 😊💕🌈📿

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

I wonder if your mum is starting to get Alzheimers? It's possible at her age.

Cheers, Midori

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Midori

I do not think it is Alzheimer’s because I cared for an elderly Father with Alzheimer’s

She is fully aware and has cognitive ability

It is her behaviour that she will befriend anyone who can be if help to her

Even if I had stopped her she would have not listened

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired in reply to Roukaya

Ah, I see, Mother Knows best! Except when she doesn't.

Cheers, midori

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Midori

I hope you are well

If you had a Mother like mine as you are also an only child , how would you be able to cope with a Mother like mine ?

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired in reply to Roukaya

Hi Roukaya,

In the main my Mum was great; but she did have an unfortunate capacity to say the wrong thing and embarrass me in public. Usually of the 'Oh God, let this be a nightmare!' variety. She was another tiny person, only just 5feet tall, and at 5 ft 3, I was a fair bit taller.

She was a sweet person, would help anyone, but boy, could she be embarrassing. Everybody seemed to love her, however.

She wasn't like your mum though! I don't know what I would do if I had your Mum!

Cheers, Midori

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

Hi Roukaya, stick to your guns and as you have said, your mum knows what she is doing and if this is so, she must learn to deal with the mess she lands herself in and be more careful of the friends she chooses and people she makes connections with. If she chooses to take no notice of the advice you give when you are trying to help, you cannot blame yourself in any way, so, try to remember that. Also, keep focused on the job in hand, which is your studies at the moment. 😊🌸🌼

Good evening

I hope you are well

I am studying as this is a fourth attempt

I know what will be required of me and I expect this is why I am beginning to realise just how my mothers influence can impede on my ability to mage something of myself

I realise also I cannot walk her path and she cannot walk mine

May be it is best I live away from her and I am financially independent to a certain extent

I expect the face she puts onto her friends is not the face she puts on to me

Dare I say it she makes me unhapppy

She is a Narcissist Mother ever since this put down wife took off and made a life for herself she has little care or appreciation for all that I have done

She tells everyone and anybody to help her and all of the friends are in her life for their own benefit

Whether I pass or fail whether I remain unemployed or unmarried this means very little to her

I am studying and trying ti memorise the main points and understand the finer points which make the difference between pass or fail

I know she makes me unhappy , always the child needing reassurance and demanding

But I realise only I can make the changes needed

I hope you are ok

Thank you for listening

Hi Roukaya, I can empathise as my husband went through something similar with some severe problems with his late mother who lived 5000 miles away and was constantly getting involved with the wrong people. There was no persuading her to stop and eventually I had to advise him to leave her to her own devices. Eventually she hastened her own death, but there's little anyone can do to influence someone who won't be influenced (even if you consider you really are right), and it's downright impossible to do from a long distance.

At the end of the day your mother is an adult and if she chooses to associate with the wrong people, there really isn't anything effective you can do to stop her or dissuade her.

Did I really see that right she was knocked over and she was on the pavement ? Whatever her problems are that should not have happened. Has she got over that episode? Has the driver been sued? When did that happen. Was it here in the UK..... That sort of dreadful driving happens a lot in Greece but they are the most abominable drivers on earth. They have never had a successful racing driver ever.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Good morning

I hope you are well

My Mother lives overseas and the refuses to pay her anything

He says he has no money

Also the police are taking the side of the driver

in reply to Roukaya

Which country I wonder allows drivers to knock pedestrians over on the pavement? That would never happen here in the UK. It sometimes happens that cyclists run into people on the pavement here in the UK but the Authorities 'like' cyclists because they think they are 'saving the planet'.

In Greece there are not many decent drivers at all. Any authority who condemns a pedestrian for being knocked down on a pavement must be nuts. The driver should be

made to pay for what he/she did. Without fail.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

This is exactly why injustice is so prevalent in Mauritius

It is so unfair that my Mother was knocked over , her foot bandaged and given a tetanus injection .

It is very unfair the judicial and law enforcement situation in Mauritius.

A statement has been made but the police are taking the side of the driver .

My Mother’s foot caught in rubble and this has made it difficult for her to walk on one side until the foot heals

This is exactly why I could not settle over there due to the unfairness.

In Mauritius it is always who you know never mind human rights

Grossly unfair

in reply to Roukaya

They seem as bad as Greece!

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

Wow! that's terrible, Roukaya. Tell you a little secret. When I was a teen, I went out with a Mauritian lad for awhile, but he was Catholic, not Muslim. He was a really kind guy, though I lost contact with him when I moved into London to work at a College.

I didn't realise that the Police in Mauritius could be so blind to the law. I suppose it is a form of toxic masculinity, believe the man, never the woman. Not good at all.

Can't blame you for not wanting to go back.

Cheers, Midori

Sympathy..my mum's bed dead for 29 years and I miss her every day

I realised you have suffered a great loss,I lost my Father two years ago and I was his carer .

I have always done my best for my Mother but she lives overseas and since my Father died I can say I have always supported her .

Just count your blessings you are so far away!

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