The infamous car parking. It causes so much anger. I have had a car parked across my drive for the last two weeks. At one time I would have been trying to find the owner and phoning the police but now I have parked behind his car and will speak to him if I see him. I guess your mom is feeling frustrated too and perhaps needs support from you.
Many of us are feeling demoralised because of the lack of concise instructions regarding what we can and can’t do during the COVID lockdown. The ever changing, often conflicting instructions are exhausting. If the demoralising feelings you are having continue then you should certainly talk to your doctor.
Congratulations on passing one exam and good look for the second in January.
I live far away from my Mother and I have been alone for many years but due to Lockdown and having been able to visit Mum this year makes it harder
My Mother is somebody who I will always support but is someone who has always put herself first
I lost my Father two years ago and since then trying to find a years work experience and pass the exams
I spent my forties taking care of an elderly Father and his business hence why I am trying to restudy and retrain
As I am fifty one , I become sad that I am still trying at this age but I also realise it is our life path that is written out like this
Learning to cope with the various hurdles and life lessons are part of our character transformation
In the end this is about a car parking space and I may ask Mum and the fact she owns three properties in the block causes envy and jealousy with others
May be but I am thinking of seeking Psychotherapy to understand what I can do to help me feel better mentally
No problem hun, I lost my dad in 2005 and my mom in 2014 and miss them every day. Since going to university many many years ago I have mainly lived on my own and never regretted it or felt lonely. This second lockdown though has got to me more than the first.
I think you are doing well to go back to University
I think it takes tremendous strength and courage to study
I would like to ask out of interest what are you studying
When I hear of my Mothers worries I become a rabbit in the head lights with anxiety
I am looking into get help with a Psychotherapist to assist with my mental health issues and constant feeling of struggling with my aim of trying to requalify in Wills and Probate
I did my main university studies in my twenties up to PhD in economics and politics. In my thirties, whilst holding down a full time job I home studied for a LLB (bachelor of law) and spent my working like as a lawyer in the oil and gas sector. Bit that was hard work, I couldn’t do it now. I’m semi retired now and only take on work that interests me.
How old is your mom? I have a friend who tries to put her problems on to me. I realise that I’m just a sounding block and I settle down to listen. A few sympathetic grunts from me are all that is often required 😸.
Don’t you give up on your studies. Use this awful time to your advantage and requalify.
Most certainly see a psychotherapist if it will help you put your life in perspective. It is certainly a way forward to achieve your goals and I’m sure you will achieve them. What shines through the disappointment is your determination to not let the past define who you are now.
I have spent most of the morning looking for a suitable Psychotherapist
I think I have found one abs clearly having some one with the professional expertise will assist with the downward spiral I feel once I have spoken with the demanding little lady called Mum
I think you must have a wealth of life experience and I realise that deep down I can achieve my aim with the appropriate self belief and determination
I hope you are keeping well
How are you managing in Lock Down
I thank you for your honesty and listening ear
Thank you
It's amazing how something like parking can bring up so much anger and resentment in people!
I was disappointed and upset yesterday afternoon over that interview as they were rude to me when it started and had kept me waiting 30 mins as well so I put the phone down on them and went out of the flat and had a walk to calm down and had felt better after.
With regard to the parking it's nothing to do with trivial things like that in itself in my view it's the little things that bring out anger and resentment over deeper things and parking is the excuse that sets you off.
I feel myself I have had a lucky escape in regard to yesterdays interview!
I wouldn't have enjoyed the job anyway.
Yes I remember last week you said you were devastated over not having got that job back in January you had set your heart on and the way it was shoved in your face as its always hard to take when you have really set your heart on something and then the door is slammed in your face!
There's plenty of other eating places in Derby that want customers and that snack bar isn't the only one in Derby and if they are going to be unkind then its the best decision not to go back there!
I was broken hearted when I did not get the job but coming home alone I felt so much worse
Again I think my mental health is being affected by the isolation of the lockdown and I am hoping to do the resit in January and hopefully then visit Mum
But I find looking for a years work experience demoralising at times and constantly tell myself I could live overseas with Mum but then I would relinquish the prospect of trying to become a Wills and Probate Practitioner
Many family members laugh at me for trying and my two Aunties only contact me so that my Mum will kept an eye on their sister who said I will study until I die
I have had enough of such cruel relatives and this is why I no longer speak to them
Again I realise my Mother’s anxieties play on my mental health so I am thinking of seeing a Psychotherapist
We are supposed to believe in psychiatry - but be wary of doctors - it can be a slippery slope leading to anti-depressant addiction.
A (second opinion) doctor wrote out a prescription for anti-depressants for me (without discussing non-drug alternatives) and said: "take these".
They arranged an appointment with a private psych - and they did the same tests and came to the same conclusion.
When the pharmacist told me the drugs were anti-depressants, she diagnosed bradycardia... and I was soon booked in for treatment (for Atrial Fibrillation and bradycardia).
I was depressed because I was ill - and two doctors could not see it!
Very Likely, I think your Mum is holding you back by always calling at inconvenient times. I know you have mentioned Psychotherapy; it may be worth investigating, as I see you continually up and down in mood, whenever your Mum calls.
I hate to say it, but I have the feeling she may be deliberately trying to sabotage your efforts to requalify, in the hopes you may go back to Mauritius to stay.
Personally, I'm not sure that would be good for your confidence.
We are coping pretty well, thank you. Neither of us is particularly socially inclined, although I wish my son was, as he is my carer, and I worry how he will cope when I'm gone.
He is interested in metalworking, so I'm hoping to get him into some sort of Heritage work, where he can learn as he goes along, under the guidance of experienced metalworkers.
Even if he goes as a volunteer, it will be something creative for him to do, apart from waiting for me to fall over!
I must also get him driving, never had the funds to do it before.
He needs to start pretty damned pronto, as I don't know how much longer I have to go!
Congratulations on passing your exam, praying for you for another exam in January.
I lost my father in 1999 and my mother in 2013 but I still cry whenever I miss them. Grieving has no timetable. Just cry whenever you miss your father and think about the good memories you had with him.
I have a friend who lives in a place that has issues in parking. It’s good that you are there for your mother. Have you found a psychotherapist yet? I hope you can find the help you need to feel better mentally.
Please keep us posted. I pray for your success as you continue your studies. Take care.
Thank God, I'm coping well but in March, I was scared and worried about my family's future. This corona virus is an unseen enemy and we all have to take care of ourselves.
My faith in God has helped me to experience peace as we all face this lock down. It's hard but all I need to do is pray and knowing that this pandemic will soon be over.
I hope you will cope well. Please stay strong. Praying for you. Please stay in the forum, we are all here for each other.
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A Lovely Meal, at my Mothers
Thank you all for making me feel welcome.