Dad’s advice some years ago; “If you get into a fight in the pub, put a snooker ball in your sock.”Worst advice ever, I could hardly walk!
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.My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes.
I asked her, "What can I do to stop my addiction?"
She said, "Whatever means necessary."
"No it doesn't," I said..
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.A research group on sea mammals captured a rather odd porpoise on one of its trips.
Its peculiarity was that it had feet. After they had photographed and measured the poor thing, they prepared to set it free.
"Wait a minute," said one of the researchers, "Wouldn't it be a kindness if our ship's doctor here were to amputate the feet so that it would be like other porpoises?" "Not on your life," exclaimed the doctor,
"That would be defeeting the porpoise.".
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A knock knock joke for Marnie:
One sock turned to the otherLeft: knock knock
Right: Who's there?
Left: we live in a shh
Right: we live in a shh who?
Left: yes we do, right. Yes we do
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Did you hear about the sushi bar that caters to Lawyers?
It's called Sosumi.
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Why do Koalas, carry there babies on there backs.......
Ever tried pushing a pram up a tree????
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Wow impressed at a quiz night last night my girlfriend Molly knew the name of Wolves football ground
Sometimes.....