My Chinese friend next door said to me "I've opened a crows shop"
I said, "Don't you mean a clothes shop?"
He said, "No, a crows shop, come and take a rook.
I asked my local baker why all of his cakes were 50p but one was £1.
He said “that’s Madeira cake”
I rang Sea World to buy some tickets.
I got a message that said this call may be used for training porpoises
An 89 year old bloke got stopped by the police around 2am and was asked where he was going at this time of the night.
He replied " I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effect it has on the human body as well as smoking and staying out late"
The officer asked " Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of the night?"
Bloke replies " That would be my wife "
just met the manager of the Chinese restaurant where Toyah Willcox eats.
It's a Mr Wei.
I was in a Scottish pub last week, also doing a crossword. I got stuck on “stranded on a desert island”. Eight letters. I had the first two letters “MA”. When a local Scotsman said “marooned” six people asked for a pint of lager.
Written by
Bazzak
Reading Rabbits
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I awoke this morning to the the sound of a certain very young lady requesting to be let out. Tickie our puppy! I opened the curtains and the door to be greeted by heavy rain and a very strong wind. Tickie was very brave but was back indoors, pronto.
I picked up my mobile and there at the top of all the new messages was your posting, so many of your masterpieces Barry, thank you. That is honestly the best way to be greeted. Made my day!
Have a wonderful day Barry and your family, with best wishes from your mate Tim.
Dont know what it's like where you are Tim, but in London it's gale force wind and non stop rain. I ruined two umbrellas picking Frank up and taking him to school!.
Thank you Barry for your message, yes it seems to be raining in many places today. I hope that Frank’s umbrella has survived this wind, it certainly is very strong today.
It must be lovely doing the school run with Frank, apart from this Autumnal weather. I am sure that he loves being with you, a real treat.
My Granddaughter’s flu has developed into bronchitis, she has now finished a course of antibiotics, but she still has a really bad cough and is feeling very weak. She was hit with this straight after returning to school.
cracking sense of humour. I cannot remember a joke. THE VERY LAST MESSAGE, a xmas brandy, Bayle's talking, I am a cheap drunk one shot does me. a whole bottle, dancin g o n the ceiling. ha ha ha mx
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Thank you! Have a lovely day xx
one shot does me. a whole bottle, dancin g o n the ceiling. ha ha ha mx