It's one thing to acknowledge someone else's brokenness. It's quite another to acknowledge your own. However, where TRUE life's wisdom resides, is the acknowledgment that the other person's brokenness does not fit with your own; couple that with the stoic resolve to part company, and remain that way, and you've done both that person, as well as yourself, a great service indeed, even if the other does not yet see it.
Despite my hermit tendencies, my heart loathes the emotional isolation. Why voice this inconvenient truth? Why write any of this at all? Self therapy? Maybe. My writer's spirit determined to make itself known, in the wake of published efforts failing to do so? Also a distinct possibility. Ultimately, I needed to sort my own thoughts and feelings out, in an effort of self-awareness and a grasp, at the certainty, that parting with her was the best thing for both of us. After all, we don't live in a fairytale; not everyone can be saved and, at the end of any given day, if we manage to save ourselves, that shall have to do.
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enigmaticide
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The thought is pragmatically sound, but also presumes we'll turn around and aid those less fortunate/capable when able. I'm suddenly reminded of lines out of the movie WATCHMEN:
Hi, I agree with Sheepish. Being focused and involved in someone else’s emotions doesn’t give you time to focus on yourself and heal. You are right we don’t live in a fairytale. The majority of people would have had major ups and down along the way. If a relationship has gone wrong and ended, there will be good reason behind it. If you know it was the best thing, you need to keep telling yourself that and building yourself back up. You are responsible for you and no one else. Feelings always change so how you feel now, is not a permanent state, that is what you must remember. 🌈
Thank you and, yes, I must be true to myself in order to be true to others. Admitting to myself that I'm still a "work in progress" is not a comfortable admission but an important one.
Hi enigmaticide,
I think this might be your first post within Positive Wellbeing, so if that's the case, please feel welcome here.
You raise a very true point, that even those of us who are happiest on our own, still have a yearning for love and/or companionship sometimes. And I think nature created us to desire some contact with other people. To be a true hermit seems to me to be working against what nature intended for us as a species.
You have lost a sister and that's a devastating event. I've lost one myself, in circumstances where it was probably the best outcome for her. But I can't justify losing her by saying that it's ok because 'not everyone can be saved.' That is true, but I still wish my sister hadn't got ill. But it's true that our only option after devastating events is to decide to survive and do it in the best way we can manage.
I'd say don't feel you must sort out your thoughts and feelings. It's OK to live with them but find a way to do so peaceably. It may not be a fairy tale. It may be very difficult. But different is still a life lived.
Fair enough. My own blessings, few in number as they may be, still are, leaving me better off than some. I'm still employed with a roof over my head; I can work with that.
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RIP, my Chloe girl... January 2007 - April 2020