Edgar Allen Poe is about to run into a tree. What do you yell at him?
POETRY!.
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If you eat raw salmon, can you get Chickenella?.
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Two elderly gentlemen were sitting next to each other at a dinner party.
One of them said, “My wife and I had dinner at a new restaurant last week.”
“Oh, what is it called?” asked the other.
“Um…I can’t remember. What is the name of that flower that you buy on romantic occasions? You know, it usually comes by the dozen, you can get it in different colors, there are thorns on the stem?”
“Do you mean a rose?”
“Yes, that’s it!”
He leans across the table to where his wife is sitting and asks her, “Rose, what was the name of that restaurant we went to last week?”.
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Teacher: “Who do you think invented dancing, children?”
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Little Johnny: “My guess is a big Irish family with just one bathroom.”.
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Cyclops: How do you spell Hawaii?
Wife: ( biting lip) well you need 2 i's
Cyclops: ( putting his pen down) my life is just a joke to you isn't it Maria.
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I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's this morning.
His mother was furious 😊.
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I told the wife, that I was thinking of taking her to the Bahamas again.
She said : " what do you mean again?"
I told her Ihad thought of it before
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. I had a problem with my computer yesterday ,
So I called Eric the 12 year old kid next door.
Eric, clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking out, I called after him,
"So what was wrong?"
He replied " it was an ID ten T error"
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless asked, " an ID ten T error? What's that"
Eric grinned... " haven't you heard of an ID ten T error before ?"
"No" I replied.
"Write it down " he said, " then I think you will work it out"
So I wrote down " ID10T"
I used to like Eric !!!😕.
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The Miser's Final Wish
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.
Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did, " said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a cheque'
