How long?: Have just realised, to my... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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How long?

Sops profile image
Sops
34 Replies

Have just realised, to my horror and sadness, that i have not seen my children at all this year and it is now the sixth month. We spent Boxing Day together and everything since then has either been cancelled, such as lunch at the V and A in January, several birthday luncheons,Mothers Day, Easter, the list goes on. This is such a painful situation. I manage week by week but the enormity of 6 months has really shook me.They are scattered over the British Isles, so goodness knows when we will over get together. How are orher people managing?

Sopsx

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34 Replies

Hi Sops,

It's so hard, isn't it, but I think we make it worse when we check up on calendars and tot up the months. I've been luckier. I met up outside with my daughter and granddaughter a week ago, and previously spent a lovely day with them in March for a spa day and overnighter at a hotel.

But that's what I focused on the whole time. My lovely, last, normal day spent together, laughing, splashing, pampering, lunching, dining, smiling and that's what's sustained me. Not the days, weeks and months of deprivation without them. And that's because love endures, whether we see each other face to face or whether we can't for a while.

None of us are happy with the situation we have now, and the future isn't going to be as the past was. But if we just do the best we can with the day in hand, it's not as frustrating as dwelling on how long it's been.

So I'd say, put away your calendar, and if you have photos of your last time together, smile over those, or just the memory of a lovely day spent together with those you love and who love you. 🌺

Sops profile image
Sops in reply to

That is so true thank you. I do get phone calls so i know they are all well,

Sopsx

Troilus profile image
Troilus

Our daughter works abroad. She has done for several years now. We keep in touch by Skype. We like to see each other so we can all assess for ourselves that we are all well. The trick, I think, is not to look back to the last time you saw your family, but to look forward to the next meeting. It is also useful to plan an approximate date.

We last saw our daughter at Christmas and were expecting her home mid June. Unfortunately that can’t happen now. She would need to do two weeks quarantine here and another two weeks when she gets back. What with the risks involved with travel and the fact that there is very little Covid 19 where she is, we all agreed she should not come.

We are now looking forward to a Christmas visit, although we do realise that might not happen. In the meantime, we know she is safe and we always have skype.

Sops profile image
Sops in reply to Troilus

Thank you,

you are absolutely right.Just having a zero moment.

Now it has stopped raining i will go out and massacre some weeds.

Sopsx

Angelagone profile image
Angelagone in reply to Sops

Know how you feel. I last saw my eldest just after xmas. We hadn't been able to meet up for a while and had a conversation about the need to actually see someone...ironic in the circumstances.! No idea when I'll see her again. It's the uncertainty isn't it.? Thank goodness we can come on here and be miserable for a bit ! You give those weeds hell. Sending a virtual hug.

Sops profile image
Sops in reply to Angelagone

Thank you, brown bin is now full of weeds, a big hug back to you !

Sopsx

I have been so lucky. Have seen my daughter, granddaughter and even the great grandchildren. Arlo whose 5 reminds me to keep my distance 🙄 Although he tells me I’m not old so shouldn’t be a problem! My son is mainly so busy building his business and flying all over the world. Have actually seen him several times. He cycles to see us and we stand in the car park. As for the grandson in London it’s Zoom or WhatsApp. Roll on a bit of hugging xx

Sops profile image
Sops in reply to

absolutely, , a hug is what i need, thank you

Sopsx

in reply to Sops

((((( ))))) Here’s a big one. x

elliebath profile image
elliebath

I do feel for you. The separation is hard after so long. My son left UK last Oct for a year in Australia, but his trip was cut short due to Covid19 and he just managed to get back to UK at the end of March. They chose to self- quarantine, then have since been in lockdown but several hours away from me.

However I saw him for the first time last week, just for 2 hours and with no hugs or touching of course .....

Is there some way you and yours can meet up half way?

Sops profile image
Sops in reply to elliebath

Unfortunately not, i am still in shielding, consultant insists. I lived abroad when my husband was alive with little leave time so i know waht what is like. Thank you for your kind reply

sops

elliebath profile image
elliebath in reply to Sops

I hope they can soon visit you at home then. All being well we will be allowed overnight visits after the 4th July , as long as no more big spikes in R.

Sops profile image
Sops in reply to elliebath

Yes i agree thank you for your kind

reply. Sops

snowyday2020 profile image
snowyday2020

Sad. But. Keeps every safe. Just for a lil longer. Can you do a messenger party and have all family together? My sister and I are doing this. We do this about once a week. Takes the edge of the hugs off just a bit. A virtual hug to you....

Sops profile image
Sops in reply to snowyday2020

Thank you so much and a virtual hug back to you.

sopsx

Sops profile image
Sops in reply to snowyday2020

Thank you.Sops

Sops profile image
Sops

Thank you, much appreciated

Sopsx

Hi

Yes it is sad but try to look forward and not backwards. If you have something to look forward to it keeps our spirits up😊😘xx

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22

I know it is very hard for people who are missing being with their families, but you can look ahead to a time when the restrictions will be lifted and the first contacts then will be very special.

I don't have anyone to miss in that way and when Covid 19 restrictions are lifted I will be just as alone as I am now. There are lots of people in my situation.

I don't mean to moan, but those of you with families hopefully can look forward to things improving and that might help.🙂🌸

Sops profile image
Sops in reply to Marnie22

I am sorry if i upset you. I did not mean to. I have lived alone for 12 years and doappreciate the difficulties.sops

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Sops

That's okay. I just needed to say it I guess. Thank you.🙄🌸

in reply to Marnie22

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Pm me anytime of day or night 😊 xxxx

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to

No problem and thank you. 🙂🌸

in reply to Marnie22

You are very welcome xxxx

Angelagone profile image
Angelagone in reply to Marnie22

So sorry if we upset you Marnie, I too have been on my own for 14 years so my family are very important. It might sound a bit daft but I need to see my older daughter and grand daughter in the flesh as it were, to know they are okay ?? Illogical perhaps, but true.

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Angelagone

No, I completely understand, I just get a bit down because I don't have anyone to look forward to meeting up with when this is all over. (Sorry if that sounds pathetic.)

Nobody upset me really, I upset myself!

Things are just tough at the moment because I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and due to coronavirus my therapy is on hold. I am a bit sensitive because of that I think. 🤔🌸

Angelagone profile image
Angelagone in reply to Marnie22

I dont think its pathetic at all, my love. So sorry you're going through such a hard time. Let's hope things improve for all of us whatever our situations. Xxox

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Angelagone

Thank you. 🙂🌸

Thank you

We certainly will!! I have said they'd better be ready for the biggest hug ever. I've said to them you have been warned!! Xxxx

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

So sorry to hear this, it is a long time and when you sit down and think about it, quite upsetting. Hopefully the time will come when you will be together again, with them all. I am lucky in the fact that my family are close by. You will have to plan a family get together when you are allowed too celebrate the company of them once more. xx

Sops profile image
Sops

Yes i will, thank you

Sops

Sops profile image
Sops

Yes Jerry, i agree, thank you Sops

😂 Ian's girlfriend tried to wind him up by saying he wants loads of hugs 😂

Lookingforideas profile image
Lookingforideas

It’s terrible isn’t it. I’m lucky in that we saw all the kids and grandkids down south over Christmas then went up to scotland and saw my family up there at new year. We then went back south in February at half term and saw my stepson and his family, then across to see my stepdaughter and her family too (they’re on opposite sides of London) so it’s not been quite so long for us.... but it is still feeling like a long time - and heaven knows when we’ll see my other stepdaughter in California 😢. But we’re all alive and kicking (at the moment) including our extended families and friends so there’s much to be thankful for ... hopefully it won’t be too long until we can manage to see loved ones in a new ‘normal’🤞🤞🤞🤞

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