I turn to this post out of loneliness and support
I have not been able to sleep as a result of my Mother’s temper all because I said you give me all your worries
I think it is best I leave her alone and try to sort out my own life
Anxiety : I turn to this post out of... - Positive Wellbein...
Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation
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Anxiety
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Roukaya
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25 Replies
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Do what you need to do to make yourself happy.
Roukaya in reply to
Good morning
I think I am tired mentally
Also I have done my best but told it is your duty
Always if I say something wrong her temper
By leaving her alone I do not have to face her temper
Uncharacteristically I went out for a walk a 6am realising I have to make a life fir myself
Thank you for answering and listening
If you put some distance between you your mother she may start treating you better. As the saying goes, you teach people how to treat you and if you stop letting her treat you the way she does it will change. You do need to make yourself happy and when you do the other things will fall into place. It’s not your duty to let your mother crush your spirit and bring you down. I’m sorry you haven’t slept.
Good morning
I hope you are well
Yesterday she got in her temper because I said you put all your worries on me
I went outside for some air as I think I may have diabetes due to thirst and tiredness
I have tried always to listen
She got hysterical because I did not answer but I think mentally I am tired
I know she will not listen to me
And I was tired of facing her temper
Things will never change unless I take full responsibility for my life and direction
Living with parents can be tough at the best of times, So my heart goes out to you. You must ‘tend to your own garden’ regularly, otherwise you will not be able to help anyone.
Your mother may not ever understand, but we here are with you in this. It is vital! If nothing else, for your mother’s sake. If you go down, who will she have? But really you are much more important as a person than just as another person’s carer.
Are you a person of faith? I am a Christian, and it is at times like this that I turn to my Holy Bible for strength and wisdom. In its pages my Heavenly Father reveals himself to me as the creator and lover of my soul. He restores it partly by taking me off for walks in greenery and by still waters (see verse 3). I have pasted it below, in case it can be of some help in your situation.
Psalm 23
A PSALM OF DAVID.
1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Good morning
I hope you are well
I realise people are dying of Covid 19 and I said to her you put all your worries on me
She said how dare you talk to me like this
I knew she would be bad tempered and she rang but I went out for some air
I telephoned her and I realise her dominant attitude is overwhelming and I agree I have let it continue out if loneliness and being unemployed
I need to take charge of my own life and realise this
Thank you for listening
Good morning
I do not live with my parents
One parent has passed away and my Mother is overseas
I live on my own but she has friends and support
I could not bear to face her temper so I decided to ring later
She does as she pleases and I can no longer cope with her demanding behaviour
I hope you are well
How are you managing in Lockdown
Hi
I'm sorry I haven't replied to your message but my phone ran out of charge!!
I'm so sorry you haven't slept. I don't think there is much to add to what everyone has said except I think you need to make a stand, easier said than done. It isn't right for anyone to dominate another person like she has done with you. My wish for you is that you make yourself happy and do things to help make you happy. We are all here to support you. All my love Lynne xxxx ❤️🤗🌈💜
Roukaya in reply to
Good morning
I hope you are well
Thank you for listening
I was frightened of her temper and that is why I did not answer her call
I waited for a while then called her
I must learn to realise that I have to make a stand and make my own life
in reply to Roukaya
Yes. She should treat you how she would like to be treated. You can hold your head up high as you have done nothing wrong!!
I've had about 2 hours sleep which is a record for me!! I must have been exhausted. All my love Lynne xxxx ❤️🤗🌈💜
Roukaya in reply to
I hope you are ok
Why is it you have such little sleep
You were very kind to me yesterday
Thank you
Thank you. You are very welcome.
I have many conditions causing me pain, this builds up to a crecendo, eases off and then will go back up again. I do find this hard to cope with at times but then I think there are plenty of people who are worse off than me. All my love Lynne xxxx ❤️🤗🌈💜
Roukaya in reply to
Do you take anything to alleviate the pain
Is there any thing you can take
Thank you again fir yesterday
She knows I have no one so this is her punishment tool her temper
in reply to Roukaya
I just really feel for you.
I'm on oramorph, zomorph, nortriptyline, duloxetine, codeine and sometimes paracetamol, if I didn't take these I would not be able to get out of bed in a morning!! I also have my electric blanket and hot water bottle, both of which I used last night hence why my fan was on full pelt 😊 xxxx
MidoriVisually impaired
Dear Roukaya,
I think it is best you leave her to think about things for awhile; I don't know if she contacts you or you contact her, but give both yourself and your Mum some space to think about things.
If she keeps calling to complain, or worse, gets relatives to hound you, you need to start setting some ground rules. Can you block telephone Numbers? try that with the relatives, but keep your Mum's number, in case of necessity, as she is an old lady.
If she calls, tell her you don't have long to chat as you have an appointment, and keep her calls to about 5 minutes. If she starts, put the phone down. If she calls back immediately don't answer, or she will know you were bluffing. Leave her calls for a reasonable amount of time, so it appears you are out. If you use a mobile, turn it off for the length of your 'apointment'. Yes, It isn't the truth, but sometimes for your own sanity you have to be economic with the truth.
It's a difficult juggling act, but she has friends close to her and you don't, (except us), so don't let her drag you down. You have your qualification to get and she is stopping you, with her constant complaining. You cannot help while you are so far away.
You can help both yourself and your Mum by becoming successful; give her something to brag about.
Cheers, Midori
Good Afternoon
I hope you are well
Thank you for your thoughtful words of advice
I think I am mentally tired with the attitude expecting me to drop everything for her
If I say something wrong her terrible temper as a Punishment
I realise as I spoke with the Pyschotherapist that I need to establish boundaries
I also have a deep anger at her because when she had a man in her life she know how to put him first
Only when he became abusive did it come to an end
Yesterday when she got angry because I said you put all your worries on me , she became very angry
This is why I did not answer the phone
I cannot bear her temper as punishment
My flat is empty as no tenants , I am not working
Zero income
Of course this makes me worried
I need to take back control and responsibility of my life
I am fifty
Your kind words of advice are much appreciated
I hope you day goes well
How are you managing your days ?
Thank you
bobbybobbAmbassador
Hi, Roukaya, It might be an idea to try to work on assertiveness. I'm sure there are books or online courses in this area. I think you need to be assertive with your mum when she looses her temper. Stand your ground and let her know her behaviour is unacceptable to you. In order to do this, you need to have the tools. So why not have a look to see what is available free, to have a look at and teach you some tips. Assertiveness doesn't mean being rude or disrespectful to you mum. It's about boundaries and letting your mum know, there is a line she must not cross. I hope you are having a pleasant day so far. 😊🌼🌻
Good Afternoon
I hope you are well
Thank you for your reply
All I can say is that I seem to be very tired
I realise that I have to be more responsible for myself in terms of trying to pass the Diploma and finding a job
I can see that my Mother puts her responsibilities on me and I am far away
I try to help and listen but this is taken for granted
How are you
How are you managing in Lockdown
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