Yesterday I ventured out with my partner for the first time, in the car, to the local park. We are hoping to attempt to play a little gentle tennis asap.
It felt very strange... & I felt very strange... As silly as it may seem, I almost felt as though I was consciously holding my breath when I stepped out of the car! I felt as though I could have been stepping out on to the moon!
Usually I would say I am a pretty grounded person; I think a lot and reason my way though problems of all kinds.
Lockdown has in some respects not been too hard for me. I have sought to keep myself furiously busy. Although that came with benefits, there has also been a downside; once my RSI returned with a vengeance, 'work' had to come to a standstill. Then things have become harder, but I'm coping differently...
However, if I had to explain how I am 'feeling' I would need to use a practical image. On occasions when swimming at sea, on a particularly favourite piece of beach, although very shallow, like all beaches, it is possible to be swept out more than one realises...
Right now, after having managed pretty well so far, I am suddenly feeling unsettled in a strange way... . I am am experiencing the same feelings of having swum out to sea, bobbing like a cork, seeing that my space on the beach with my towel and my bag have not only drifted very far to the left, but they have suddenly become a tiny spec! The sun is blazing, the 'blue' all around is very blue, the water around me makes that special clunking, chunking sound, but everything on the horizon has become very small...
Probabaly triggered by going out yesterday for the first time, it has no doubt disconcerted me, as it will no doubt many others... how people are coping going back to work I have no idea.
But there is something else, also connected to 'going back'.
There is much in the media, understandibly, about the massive, hitherto unheard of Recession we will all have to look forward to... calling it a Depression, dwarfing that of the Wall Street crash of 1929. There is no doubt that it will not be easy! Its hardly going to be as simple as turning on a tap/faucet! BUT, But, there is also such a thing as bringing on a situation through the approach of a 'SELF fulfilling prophecy!!'
The term 'self-fulfilling prophecy' (SFP) was coined in 1948 by Robert K. Merton to describe 'a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the originally false conception come true'.
We need to actively guard againt this I believe.
I am trying to tell myself that like a ship that has been dragging a drogue sail beneath the water, holding us back, when the time comes to cut it loose, to makes us 'shoot' forward, we need to adopt the same mental approach. One of virtaully straining 'to get out of the blocks'.
If there is not much sign of positivity in the media, helping to prepare us for the full RETURN... How can we try to generate it within ourselves?
What can we do to mentally prepare oursleves for when the barriers are lifted?
I know there are bound to be so many variables attached to this... MY greatest fear is that we will all eventually be told to just get on with it, get out theres and take our chances!? Hopefully this scenario will not come to pass! Assuming that it does not, and it becomes 'safe'... How do we not allow this self fulfilling prophecy of a doomed Depression come about, purely as individuals? How can we do our collective bit to defeat this self-fulfilling prophecy?
Poppy
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Poppy_the_cat
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Hi Poppy, thanks very much for sharing these thoughts. I'm not a psychologist, but I can very much relate to how you are feeling. The longer we stay inside I think the more frightening it will be when we are expected to go out again. Luckily, I can't see us being asked to 'return to normal' in any quick manner at all. Something I have found useful is joining a local group where I live (either a chat group on my phone or through Facebook) to find out what things are opening up, other people's experiences of venturing out to areas I am familiar with etc. I agree it's very hard when there doesn't seem to be much optimism in the media. I wonder if you can try going out with your partner again and trying the same situation of going to the park a couple of times? Maybe the familiarity will come back with a bit of exposure after a while? Just a suggestion though as I said I am no psychiatrist. Best of luck and thank you for sharing what I'm sure many people are feeling at this time too. Stay safe!
Well the council is going to repaint the white lines on the court and hopefully they will be able to open up the courts next week.
So yes, we shall definitely try again.
Undoubtedly, life as we knew it will have to change - hopefully some things for the better, but I am still very concerned that with all the negatives in the media we just might create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We need more optimisistic slants in the media. I'm not saying we need to be lied to!!
Its just that seeing the proverbial glass half empty is a little like stating the obvious.
We need to work hard at seeing the glass half full, its the harder approach, but like most things in life we need to fight for it.
Stay safe too.
Take what the media say with a grain of salt as they tend to exaggerate!
I agree totally, especially those of us lucky enough to have a garden... And indeed lucky enough to go out now, but it's the Aftermath that I am thinking ahead to... How can we collectively bend our minds to not fall into a glass half empty... On a sarcastic note, it's technically possible to drown in a few inches of water! Sorry for the black humour!
I think looking at the big picture when looking ahead with uncertainty can look daunting and overwhelming. Therefore our perception of things to come might be slightly distorted to the reality of what is actually ahead for us. I think it is important to focus on the smaller changes that are happening and adjust to them as they are happening. It is true some things would have changed for ever, we live in an ever changing world but you can be sure there are some things that never change and it is these things that keep us grounded. xx
Very well put. Yes, I am indeed trying to look at the more immediate, smaller dimension that I can have some control over, anything to help us all get back to some functioning level of 'normality' whatever that will be...always the glass half full
I am in Scotland so no real changes here yet but have to agree that I think the world is going to be a very different place after this.
I have been out for the essentials but my hubby is in the shielding group. We are lucky to have a garden and due to health issues the past few years have a 'simple' life anyway but oh my what a difference to life as we know it, this situation has made. Not that I'm complaining because we are blessed as our family and friends are ok just now.
But as we all know, many many people cannot say that and their lives will never be the same again.
It will be a very changed world I think for a very long time but the one thing I hope is that people value what they have in the family and friends around them.
The other thing I have realised is that kindness, compassion and the genuine concern for others has shown through in this very dark, scary and dismal time.
Yes, I agree totally, we must be compassionate & kind to others as well as to ourselves... as well as try to help everybody kick-start our economies again as best as possible given the constraints we will have to deal with. ;o) Take care
Hi Poppy-the-cat,
This is no way the answer of a psychologist or psychiatrist, neither of which I am. It's only my personal view.
We can't really be mentally prepared to re-enter the world, as the risk will remain very real. It won't be safe out there. The risk can, as yet, only be mitigated and managed at best. We know the menace of it is still out there. So I don't believe there can be a formula for persuading ourselves to willingly make that move. And, for many, the risk will remain greater. Our only choices are to make ourselves do it, or to stay as we are.
Different people will handle this in different ways. Levels of courage are always very different in individuals, so we'll see a range of behaviour from the downright reckless to the very timid. I totally understand your feeling of being unsure and 'all at sea', like a bobbing cork.
You've made a first step, which is bravery in its own right, so I'd say work on that, within as many safety boundaries as you can manage, but expect to feel unsure and that life's not what it was before we knew covid-19. 🙏
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A strange day but I still went out on my bike