Covd19 : Just lost my wonderful father... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Covd19

Horseyrider1 profile image
48 Replies

Just lost my wonderful father in law today from this bloody virus he was 88 in nursing home it was heartbreaking not been there to hold his hand and now thinks its going to be I carnt go to funeral as I am high risk. Has anyone had this happen to them it's really ;betting my anxiety levels sky high

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Horseyrider1 profile image
Horseyrider1
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48 Replies
Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

My greatest sympathies are with you

Stay safe Stay well during this very difficult time

Condolences on the loss of your father in law.

Activity2004 profile image
Activity2004

Hi Horseyrider1 ,

I'm so sorry to hear about your father-in-law. If you want to talk anytime, let us all know and we will be happy to listen and help in any way.

Jennymary profile image
Jennymary

So sorry to read of your loss, sincere condolences to you and your family

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22

My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Sops profile image
Sops

So sorry to read your sad news, it is a devastating position to be in and my heart goes out to you and your family.xx

Sops.

Becksagogo profile image
Becksagogo

I'm sorry to hear about your very sad loss. To lose somebody close under normal circumstances is awful but in the current climate, it's just miserable. I found myself in a similar situation having lost my wonderful Uncle Harry just before the pandemic but because of the lock down and my being vulnerable I wasn't allowed to travel for his funeral. When this is all over, Harry's Vicar will conduct a small ceremony (blessing) which I will be able to attend and we will scatter his and my Auntie Margarets ashes. Harry was such a sociable and popular man that normally the Crematorium would have been packed but because of Covid 19 he had 5 mourners.

Maybe you could arrange for a similar blessing so that you can say your goodbyes.

Your Father In Law will always be in your heart so please remember the good times that you had together and hopefully that will get you through.

Keep strong and safe.

Mowtown2020 profile image
Mowtown2020

Sorry to hear your father in law has passed away. Thinking of you and your family at thi very sad time 🙏🙏💔

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3

Sorry for your loss 🙏, Iam having my own battle about this within my own household. My daughter who lives with me goes in and out the house every day, there’s no need for her to leave she’s Not working, we have food and toilet paper. Im going to speak to an attorney to see if I can lock her out since this is a court order that she’s not obeying. I’m High Risk also I’m 65/diabetic/history of bronchitis. I stay in my room worried that every time she comes home will she bring it home? She thinks because she follows protocol that it won’t happen? I wish you Health 🙏

BertieBasset11 profile image
BertieBasset11

I have an older sister, who is now living in a care home, she has vascular dementia, her husband just couldn’t cope with her anymore, no one can visit her, she doesn’t understand why she can’t go home, I’m very worried the same will happen to her.

I fell so sorry for your loss. We are living in horrible times.

Stay safe.

X

PatsyIpswich profile image
PatsyIpswich

I was so sad to hear this and send you hugs and prayers.

Woodlong profile image
Woodlong

So very sorry to hear that sad news My Condolences

So sorry, I lost a friend, his whole immediate family got it too, including his granbaby. I’m surprise your state can have a funereal , mine can’t . Just think he won’t want you to be there at this time, if your at high rush, or even not!❤️

Narwhal10 profile image
Narwhal10

Dear Horseyrider1,

My deepest sympathy on the loss of your father in law. My thoughts are with you and your family.

X

1947Mags profile image
1947Mags

So sorry and really understand your anger. Take care. mags

Sheila_G profile image
Sheila_G

So sorry for your loss. Not being able to say goodbye properly is a stab in the heart and I really feel for you and anyone who is in the same position. God bless xx

Cat33 profile image
Cat33

So very sorry to hear your very sad news Sending a hug xx

Kickupbum profile image
Kickupbum

So sorry for you loss. Any loss is tough but in these harrowing times, it is that much more challenging. Whilst normal mourning rites are limited and postponed, it opens up our imagination as to how they would wish to be remembered and maybe how we can take their influence into our lives. So, if your father in law had a character trait that you admired or a habit you would like to incorporate, then that is a way to help that final connection. I have found this useful. A good friend used to phone anyone on their own or he thought needed 'extra' and he died last week aged 58, and so I'm trying to be more in touch.

If this doesn't make sense, please ignore, and know that you are not alone. Be well and safe

Jacksc06 profile image
Jacksc06

Deepest condolences for your loss.

Mister_K profile image
Mister_K

What's shameful is that nursing homes and hospitals do not provide protective gear that would allow a visitor's safe entry into the room to be with the patient as death approaches.

hallentine47 profile image
hallentine47

Condolences. Stay safe and stay your distance is all we can do. Hold a photo of him in your hands and send your thoughts to him. much love to you.

katieoxo60 profile image
katieoxo60

Sorry to hear of your loss, console yourself with the fact the care home met his final needs. You are not alone my Granddaughters father-in-law passed away on the 9th of April. His funeral won't be till end of May so some restrictions will be changed by then. But possibly not in respect of you attending as the 12 week for highly vulnerable takes us into the second week in June . It is so sad and strange not to be able to attend a relatives funeral. All I hope is it does not become the norm for future. Take care my thoughts are with you at this stressful time for us both x

GardenMW profile image
GardenMW

Sorry to hear about your father in law our thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time. Take care 🤗🤗

Bingo88 profile image
Bingo88

Its heartbreaking Horseyrider1. A lot of people are going to struggle to deal with not being able to say there final goodbyes to there loved ones. We only heard yesterday that a dear old friend had been in hospital after a slight stroke. Then gone into respite and passed away with this dreadful virus too. Thoughts and Sympathies to you and the families at this sad time. Brian

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

So sorry you can't attend your father's funeral.

AuntChall profile image
AuntChall

I'm so sorry for your loss. I pray for all that are sick/dying from this virus and can not be with their loved ones in their final moments. And then on the other hand I pray for the living who couldn't be there in that moment to just be with them & hold their hand. But I don't think the medical profession TRULY knows enough about this virus to keep the living loved one safe. Plus everyone is worried we will not have enough personal protection equipment.

But I wanted to make a suggestion about the funeral maybe a video could be made of the service for you, OR do a zoom conference for different family members to actually be there safely.

I don't know. This virus sucks. I'm at high risk also LUPUS. So I know at this time my anxiety & depression are threw the roof & my family is safe. So my heart ❤ and prayers 🙏🙏 are with you.

Megbird profile image
Megbird

All my sympathies to you and your family.

My heartfelt condolences Horseyrider1. That's just about the toughest news we are likely to hear today in the community. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must have been not to be able to be with him at the end. It's really cruel for you. A horrible sacrifice for the bigger good. Of course with this so raw you are going to be dwelling on all the worst aspects of COVID19, and your loss, but maybe in the time to come, you'll be able to reflect that at the grand old age of 88 your lovely dad-in-law had a full and hopefully mostly happy life. Perhaps you could spend a little time reflecting on how you can honour his memory in some way when lockdown ends. But meantime, my thoughts are with you at this horrible time.

Gillyflower18 profile image
Gillyflower18

So sorry for your loss. I agree maybe that maybe someone could do a FaceTime or zoom of the service for you. Or maybe the whole family could gather on zoom afterwards

marie66 profile image
marie66

Hi, we had a socially distanced funeral for my wee Dad recently. We were lucky as we just made the time limit and we got a mass for him but it was a maximum of 12 in the church and folk spaced out all around the church. We had a burial too - no cords just two council men and two undertakers wearing masks to lower the casket in and sadly, no funeral tea.

I couldn't even go behind Dad in the family car as it was only family living together who went in the limo.

Four weeks on, I'm ok, it was difficult not being able to do things as we'd wish and planned but we've come to terms with it and it's ok.

I wish you much love during this difficult time, ((hugs)) M x

giobronchio profile image
giobronchio

It is very sad that these days because of this awful virus we cannot hold the hands of our dear ones and not even accompany them for their last trip.

We all sympathize with you at this difficult time.

Gardner-NY profile image
Gardner-NY

Dear Horseyrider1, My deepest sympathy on this huge loss and your not being able to be there with your loved one. If this is helpful it comes from my heart as an idea: come up with some simple ceremony you can do in your home to celebrate the life this man gave to you and others like a song that reminds you of him, eating a meal he would have loved and prayers . Do it with others in your home if you can. He knows how your heart feels. Focus on that. My deepest caring thoughts to you as you grieve this loved one.

edwards304 profile image
edwards304

🙏🙏🙏

Buddy4me profile image
Buddy4me

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this tragic time, may happy precious memories of him bring you comfort in time x

springcross profile image
springcross

I'm so sorry to hear this, it's so sad that people have to die alone and apart from the ones they love, but in the interests of safety, that's the way it has to be. He's at rest now, no more suffering and no more fear. You obviously loved him very much, take solace from that as he probably knew how much you loved him. As regards the funeral, my sister's partner attended a funeral last week of his best friend (they had known each other for many years and were very close). He attended at the request of the wife of his deceased friend but he would have been brokenhearted if he had not been allowed. x

Panz profile image
Panz

So very sorry to hear about your lose. Here I FL they are not having funerals at all and it make it hard for families.

I have two friends who lost family members just this month. One was due to her age but the other was an overdose. Both very sad.

Be safe!

Panz 🙏💕☘️😍💗🌞💐

leftbehind profile image
leftbehind

So sorry. I'm sure he knew you loved him even though you could not be by his side when he passed. 😪

LittleJem5 profile image
LittleJem5

My deepest condolences to you and family xx

footgo profile image
footgo

Dear Horseyrider1

I am so very sorry, l pray that your sadness will ease in time, it is a cruel time.

Sky_Writer profile image
Sky_Writer

So very sorry to read that! I can't imagine. Virtual hugs...and stay safe.

cljones profile image
cljones

I am so sorry. My sympathies are with you.

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits

Sorry to hear this and it's sad that people can't be there at end but I'm sure a member of staff will have been. You may not be able to go to funeral but you will be able to go to his grave when this is all over. Sending big hugs 🤗🤗

Horseyrider1 profile image
Horseyrider1 in reply toCraftyperson

Yer going to hopefully keep his ashes and then when all this is over going to take him to a very special place where I know he loved. Sending you hugs.

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply toHorseyrider1

That's what we're doing with a friend of ours that died of covid.

Ladysparkle profile image
Ladysparkle

Sorry to hear this. My deepest condolences. I lost my brother 3 weeks ago who was in respite care. Although it was open to us to say our goodbyes, I wasn't able to due to my mother in isolation and I'm here with her. His funeral will be mid May and have some family members attending. It's heart breaking for my mother as she cannot will not get closure.

Horseyrider1 profile image
Horseyrider1 in reply toLadysparkle

Please send my hugs to your mum, yes the closure bit is what I am suffering from all I can think about at the moment, I did speak to the undertaker yesterday and we have asked for the ashes to be kept so when all this is over we are going to take him to the place he was born in which he has always wanted to go and we had promised him when the better weather came we would take him, so this is the only thing we've got left to do for him and hopefully this will help with some closure.

Alex9621 profile image
Alex9621

So very sorry for your loss!

klr31 profile image
klr31

So sorry. X

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