Jokes that Really Are a 'Load Of S**t

[AndrewT]

Dear All,

Some Cr*p jokes for you... Did you here about the Constipated Mathematician? He sat and 'worked it out, with a pencil.

This one is Longer and in a 'Bit More Bad Taste'... Funny though. In the Jungle, there is an Elephant, that seems to cr*p ALL the time- piles of (sh)it everywhere. All the other animals, have a Meeting, and decide to 'cork up' the Elephant. One of the Baboons volunteers to Swing Down, behind the 'beast' and Cork Him Up Good And Proper! So the next day, the Baboon, gets into position by the Water Hole- "Whoosh, Wallop, Thud" and the job is done. All, the other animals, rejoice and the Baboon is Exalted as a hero. All is well, for a few weeks (months) until a Young and Devious Monkey comes along "I'm going to 'Pull Out' that cork" he thinks to himself, as he sets off the do so.

A few days later there is a group of Lions, about a mile out- from the Elephants position- up to their ankles in sh*t laughing there heads off.... about half a mile out there are some Zebra, up to their knees in sh*t, laughing their heads off...about a hundred yards out, there is group of Sloths, up to their necks, in sh*t, laughing their heads off. "Hey Guys" what's So Funny?" asks an Antelope. Almost in unison they all reply "Imagine what it was like, for the One Who Pulled The Cork"🤮.

Not about Poo, this time.... A Father, is looking out into the garden, when he sees his four-year-old daughter, cleaning the family dog's teeth, with His toothbrush. The man quickly runs outside, to 'confront' his girl..."Emily baby" he begins "what are you doing?" "I'm cleaning 'bonzos' teeth Daddy" says the child "but don't worry, I'll put Your tooth brush back.... The Same As I Always Do!"🤢

Three babies talking.... The first says "I Hate my SMA, it gives me awful Wind", the second says "I hate my 'Follow On Milk', it makes me fart- all day long." The third replies "You two are lucky... I have to 'Share A Tit', with a bloke who smokes St Bruno...."😝

"Oh well, everyone makes mistakes" said the Darlec climbing back Off the dustbin.😊

A man is at his Front Door, wearing a Full Length Dress. Pointing to an Invitation, he is saying "It clearly 'says', on here, Evening Dress!"😄

Definition of Agony... Standing outside a Public Toilet, with a bent coin....😖

Anyway enough, for now.

AndrewT