Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
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"Hi. Now you say something."
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(From a Japanese person in Toronto)
He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!
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"This is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."
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"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
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Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
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Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
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The following is an audio clip made by a comedian mocking the outsourcing trend
Click to listen:
Needing some positivity 
Scam