Postnatal Depression help

Really need someone to talk to- I went to my doctors earlier as I have been worried I'm suffering PND. I told her how I'm feeling and that I have been having horrible thoughts but would never hurt my baby. She is referring me to crisis team and said she needs to contact social services. Im so upset and scared my baby is going to be taken away. I wish I had never even gone to ask for help :( I can't stop crying xxx

9 Replies

  • Dear Rebecca, I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling. PND can be so overwhelming. Horrible thoughts are so common with PND and are very frightening. I have had PND and antenatal depression.I can thoroughly recommend a book I read when I had PND that instantly helped reduce my anxiety almost instantly about these thoughts- it's called "Dropping the baby and other scary thoughts "by Karen Kleiman. You can get it on kindle/ iBooks within a couple of minutes to read tonight. I felt calmer and normal after reading it.With GPs being under pressure and having only 10 minute appointments, perhaps your GP felt that referring you to the other teams was the best

    way to support you? There is a distinct lack of NHS resources when it comes to support with PND so other teams may be in a better position to do so? You obviously have insight into your PND which is a good thing.The GP will have procedures to follow as well I presume.Would you be able to contact your health visitor in the morning who may be able to offer you some local support? Health visitors see more new mums than the average GP so may be able to offer you some advice.There are also some PND helplines that you could ring perhaps? Try not to worry too much at the moment as again this is a symptom of PND in itself. I think the book is good ( even if you just get the free sample) and it might give you a focus? Thinking of you tonight. Hugs, Tralala

  • They won't take you're baby, they will help you & put you in contact with people to support you. It's scary having a social worker but mist of them are on you're side & want you to keep you're baby.. I hope you get the help you need.. Don't give up. X

  • Rebecca, I could have written your post myself. My daughter is a year now, and I am so much better. There is hope so don't panic. Firstly the book tralala is referring to is fantastic. Definitely try and get hold of it. If you need, I could send it to you. However in my experience I would avoid involving the health visitor too much in this. Sadly a lot of hvs aren't aware of this aspect of postnatal illness and may refer you on to social services unnecessarily to cover themselves (as mine did). Secondly, Google post natal OCD. I had exactly the same horrible intrusive thoughts as you and was eventually diagnosed with it. It is far more common than people think (because few people feel able to talk about their symptoms for fear of social services intervention). Thirdly find the following article (Google risk assessment and OCD). It is written by OCD experts and will help reassure your health care professionals. I would print this out and take it (along with the book) back to your doctor's. Sadly very few GPS/health visitors etc know much about postnatal OCD so tend to refer on to social services, but try not to worry. If you want to talk or need more advice feel free to contact me. I have been through exactly this and have come out the other side, and (although it took alot of letters and educating of professionals) children's ss cases have now been closed, and I have received an apology). You will get through this, I promise. Xx

  • Also, OCD action and OCD uk offer an advocacy service and can help you deal with your healthcare professionals. Xx

  • Great advice sadmummy, and yes I also had postnatal & maternal OCD ( self-diagnosed as there were no knowledgable professionals!) You are so right about educating the professionals!!!! I think they should all be made to read that book! So glad things are much better for you. Hope things going better for you too, Rebecca. X

  • I bought 3 copies of that book after I had been discharged, and sent one to the crisis team, one to the gp and one to the health visitor - hopefully they actually read it! Sophie x

  • Lol, Sophie! Good for you! If they have read it, maybe you have made a difference to other new mums :) Such a great thing to do. Xx

  • As the other girls have pointed out, the health professionals simply do not have the training in this. You get FANTASTIC doctors, HV's etc - usually the ones that have suffered it or been close to someone who has but then you get rubbish docs and HV's too who don't have a clue!!

    Try not to panic, I know it's easier said than done. Perhaps going to a different doc too to see if they are more help?

    Air your fears re SS to the crisis team... They are there to help and should be a lot better than the GP and also will be on your side and can inform SS that the doc has been too quick to call them.

    You've done the right thing so try not to get yourself worked up. Everything is going to be alright, this is the start of the process if getting better so it's overwhelming but once things are in place, you will start feeling more positive x

    Did they offer you medication?

    Nat xxx

  • Wow, I had to comment on this because it is so close to my heart. I am new to the forum and really feel like I am on the road to recovery (hopefully 95% there).

    I had EXACTLY the same experience as the original post, it didn't lead to anything with SS as I had a very understanding HV, who I had built a good rapport with and had spent a lot of team with me and my baby girl and 3 yr old son. In my case was the crisis team who 'had' to refer to SS due to the safeguarding policy in our area, it still upsets me a great deal to think about that awful month of visiting them and feel like I was being watched/scrutinised .... I felt very let down by the system as I had gone to them asking for help and i feel it made my PNI so much worse, it was truly horrendous and even now 7 months on I get worried about it. It's hard to move on from, so I completely understand. However, the people I saw at the crisis team were very sympathetic and saw how much the situation was distressing me and acknowledged the process was flawed and it was fueling my anxiety even more, which was sky high anyway. The thought that my love and care for my beautiful children was questioned nearly broke me, as I was terrified of these intrusive thoughts and they were making me feel sick, not sleeping, low mood etc.

    The fact is the awareness of the symptoms is pretty low in the NHS and the support in my area is atrocious, considering it's such a common illness there should be a lot more support, understanding and access to speedy treatments - not just medication. CBT was a god send.

    I really hope things are going better and you are recovering, you will get there x

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