If you are planning any PMR/ GCA Friendly Romantic Encounters next Friday Forum Folk perhaps you might want to forego the one that has just been offered to Me.
I've got off the phone with the Physiotherapists office , and guess what , for a Valentine's Treat next Friday I will be ....being Manipulated by the Physiotherapist!
I was originally told that this might happen earlier in the week , but they confirmed it this morning, along with the added " Romantic Bonus" of a quick check up with the visiting Neuro Gynaecologist , just to see what's , what , and review if my Pain Meds have improved my (in the Receptionists terms whispered in a broad Welsh Accent ) ...... " Personal Relations".
Who said that you couldn't still get Love for Free on the NHS!! 😋😂😂😂
I have to contain myself and just raise an eyebrow and grin at these occasions as I find it hard enough sharing a hug , or a bed , with my Other Half , let alone the aforementioned Personal Relations , they discuss . I really won't have anything to report. Unless you include a quick Goodnight peck each bedtime over the edge of my big Boyfriend pillow.
But , at least my Physio is both good looking , funny , and smells of Jasmine , so it's not the worst Date I will have ever had.
Ah! The Modern World , hey!
Or should I say the " New Normal" with Chronic Pain. Things have definitely changed . For , I am pretty sure that in the Old Days , before you even discussed the topic of Monkey Business , or took most of your clothes off in front of a Man , he was meant to at least buy you a bunch of Daffs , some Chocolates and take you out to Dinner first .
Thank goodness , I , and my long suffering Other Half can see the Funny side , as in truth , in the last two years, my Consultant can say he's seen me naked more often than my Hubby has!!!
But then again , Romance comes in all forms these days for Us doesn't it . In my humble opinion, there's nothing that shows the Love more from your favourite person than the gift of a well plumped pillow , a cuppa, and a hot water bottle .
Have a lovely weekend everyone and I hope the Valentine's Adventures you may be planning are a little more ( or maybe a little less ) exciting than this one.
Hopeful hugs , Aunty Bee xxx😍
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Blearyeyed
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There's a person whom doesn't know the true feeling of Nausea experienced after a Physio session !
I couldn't eat lunch after all the balancing and bending about.
Perhaps he could take you out for a birthday lunch the next day instead. A birthday gift of a foot rub and a heat pack might fit the bill more on the day 😋
Then you could have two birthday treats for the price of one!
Happy Birthday , may you find the Perfect Balance , hugs xxx
If you have seen me at the Physiotherapist I can make it look funny too!
We both have a similar sense of humour , so goodness knows what the others think we are up to behind the curtains when they hear all the weird deep breathing sounds and giggling.
Not to be outdone by you or Suzy1959 I am having shoulder replacement on 10th - so it may well be my first or second day home! So definitely not romantic - although I may have a 19 yr male sleeping in the same house (grandson - I hasten to add!)!
For a moment there I was hoping that they were sending you home with a Live in Personal Assistant , now that would be a Valentine's gift , wouldn't it !
Good luck with your Op , do you feel you are all set for it ?
Not really - had a phone call this morning (on way to Pilates) asking if I wanted to fill a cancellation slot for Monday!
Serves me right - I had my pre op assessment before Christmas and as I hadn’t heard anything rang on Monday and queried what situation was - told they couldn’t give me a date - so I’d switched off thinking about it. But I was obviously put at top of list for cancellation! Been in for MRSA swabs again this morning as others out of date!
As for a live-in PA - this is a 19 year old - although have to say he was very good when I had my knee replaced.
I haven't worked out yet if it feels worse getting a date weeks away that you keep thinking about or getting the ones that catch you on the hop .
Your probably in the same boat as we've both had a fair few more of these sorts of appointments than we ever would have wanted.
At least you know your Grandson will fetch and carry if he helped after the knee job. Sounds like a lovely lad and it will be nice to have him there for company.
Take care and I hope it all goes smoothly for you , hugs xxx
Thank you. These emoji designers have no imagination do they! Have to work on it myself - bl🐈ue & Won🦸🏻♀️der! .... or maybe back to the drawing board.
Ah yes how things have changed. We've been together 31 years and have had many exciting Valentines Days but this won't be one of them. I'm with you on the plumped pillow, cuppa and hot water bottle, sounds just right. My appointment is not on Valentines Day, but I do have to see my OB/GYN soon because apparently he didn't do my Pap test correctly so I need another. Oh joy! Good thing he just retired.
Good Luck with that , a moments test but those things can make you feel out of sorts for the rest of the day.
I have a rather unpleasant Nerve test which involves a needle and a torch . Although the first time he didn't need the needle!! So I suppose that's an improvement !😋
I get rapid onset activity migraines and POTS , even after some light exercise , I don't think they will settle until Cardio has finished their job , so although the headaches are improving to some extent , I won't have anything to report for some time yet.
You experience Real Love when you are stuck with a Chronic Illness though .
Just having a person to stand by you despite it all is better than Passion and Romance . And that doesn't even have to be from your OH either , your friends and even your Pets can remind you that you still get the Love that really counts .
You have to keep on smiling and try to laugh about it , no matter what , and a little sunlight helps. Well , it helps the mood anyway , even if it chills the toes. Hugs xx
Nothing for the day here and to be honest I can't ever remember celebrating valentines. Maybe in my teens or early 20s but not since. This week. I will be taking my friend to see cardiologist Sat morning, doing the pain clinic restart or reboot for pain on the 11th and my car for service in the 12th 8am, yes 8am. That will, Be a tough mornig! Don't usually get painkillers etc into the system by then.
My friend and I keep saying we must try and get out of the house together when it doesn't include a doctor's appointment ! ( She has Chronic Conditions too)
I had been offered an appointment at Physio today as well but that was at 8 .15.
You do begin to wonder wether they take any notice of the difficulties of their Chronic Pain Patients. I had to say no , not only because to do it , and the journey there, I would need to be up at 5 am to be mobile enough , but my friend , who can still drive certainly can't be ready to use the car safely by that time either for the same reasons , it takes time for those Meds to kick in.
I don't know why they don't think a bit more sensibly and put Chronic Appointments in the afternoon , and first assessments and injury or acute ones in the mornings .
Can't your garage pick up and drop off your car for you ?
Ours does that as the OH has to be in School before they open .
Sounds like you're as romantic as I am scoops! Love is shown by doing, not giving. All the time he carries the wet washing up stairs for me, I'm happy.
Oh sweet Bee! You do make me giggle! I’m so glad you have a great looking guy to look after you on Valentine’s!!! As for your OH —- Gentle hugs are mandatory! I would be lost without them! Anyway huge virtual ones from me! XOXO 😘💕💕
Thanks for your comic relief Aunty Bee. Even though I am a sexuality educator and coach, which includes providing couples workshops on everything from writing your own personalized erotica, to discovering the eroticism of power play (BDSM), I quite dislike the commercialized aspect of Valentines Day. It’s discouraging that we (but often the male in a heterosexual relationship), are encouraged to buy things for our partner. This leads to expectations of how we should be loved, and show/celebrate our love. Rubbish. And what about those folks who aren’t partnered??
The reality is that for people with chronic pain and disease, we have had to make adjustments in our partnered lives, including intimacy (sexual or otherwise). I my workshop titled “Pain, Pleasure, and More Pain”, I examine the topic of chronic illness and sexual intimacy, from both the perspective of the ill person and the “caretaker partner”. I’m the first to share my sex life isn’t the same as it was pre-PMR. Of course it isn’t given all the factors involved. But that doesn’t mean that partnered couples can’t find a way to express and receive love, closeness, arousal and connection (or not if that isn’t how you relate as a couple). Do I miss my former “abilities”....yes. Am I willing to get creative, to discuss and hear my partners experience...yes. However to each their own, no pressure.
On Feb 14th, and every day, my hope is that your are not in pain, not overwhelmed, not feeling “less than”, and able to love, in your own way, yourself, and those around you who play important roles in your lives.
Yes, people forget the origins of Valentine's Day , that it was a celebration for all not just the young or loved up. Pretty much like most of the Festivals , the greetings cards industry certainly took it's toll.
We have two " Love " days at this time of year in Wales. The first is St. Dwyrans Day , the Welsh Valentine's Day , on 25 th Jan. Dwyrans Tale is actually based on our Isle of Anglesey , the story of a young woman whom refused to be married for something other than deep love and give up her true feelings so made a Pure Commitment to God . She moved to a tiny islet Llandywynn cut off by the tides twice a day .
Chronic Illness and Pain certainly takes it's toll on the Physical side of relationships but doesn't have to have the same impact on Real Love.
In fact , if anything , from the connections you have to create as a " Sufferer" and " Support" be it as a Couple , Companions or Closest Friends the Love that you have can be made Deeper and Stronger than anything you had before when the Everyday ways of spending time together or showing Love were more easy to do.
My illnesses have been growing over decades , and one of the first Pain issues I had caused problems with physical intimacy . The growth of our relationship , therefore, seems to have always involved a series of unfortunate but inevitable physical adjustments. In some ways , I know that probably made our current position easier to bear for us both than it may be for some whom had a change in their Physical Relationship thrust upon them .
When you suffer the Pain for a long time from an early age the physical doesn't feel that much to lose , but it can cause distance if you don't work on the other Mental Connections .
I feel more sympathetic loss for my husband than loss for myself , but he has always shown me the greatest love of all by genuinely expressing the fact that he would always choose Celibacy over loosing Me.
Goodness knows why , but I am just thankful that he's sees things in me that he wouldn't want to be without.
Thanks for your input , it's always interesting to hear your perspective on these more sensitive subjects. xx
After my husband broke his back and had major neuro surgery bed time activities ceased abruptly. We still cuddle etc just no manic exercise!! No love lost at all.xxx
Thank you for your post, it resonated with me as I am single and dislike too the way it has become so commercialised. Since GCA and pred, moo face, brain fog, daily tendon pain and most depressingly hair loss I now wear a wig... My hopes of finding a partner are long gone. Imagine when he goes to run his fingers through my hair and it all comes off in his hand! lol To see the moon and June and endless cards and choc and 'what are you doing on V Day' makes me sad and also reflective of all those who also feel resigned to being single (if it is not their preferred choice). I will be working on Threepenny Opera ... a tale of love, corruption, murder and ironic take on capitalist society.... quite a good choice for V Day really lol. Good luck for your day PMRCanada, your post was a real tonic. x
What a tonic your post is!! I have nearly died laughing at myself saying ‘personal relations’ is as good a Welsh accent as I can muster (I did appear in a production of Under Mirkwood’ yonks ago so that helps.
Thanks for making my day! Are you going to give an encounter of proceedings on the 14th? 😂😂😂
I love the fact that you are saying " Personal Relations" in your best Welsh Accent.
Do you think you will be using it as a funny catchphrase with your friends now?
I was finding it hard to pay attention and not buckle with laughter when she said it, as she gave a little cough , and I could just discern the sound of her wriggling in her chair , so I could picture her sitting at her desk in Reception , head turned away from the room with her hand over the receiver.
She comes from the South too , so it did remind me of Gladys Pue in ' Hi, De, Hi' 😂😂😂
My personal relations with Parker consists of a good stare from a distance. But the eyes say it all. Like don’t touch my skin and your breathing in my general direction!!! 😘
Yes , my Paddington Hard Stare used to be saved for stopping the kids in their tracks , although it used to be able to make the hubby shrivel in a corner too , now it's brought out to stop a inappropriately timed hug in it's tracks , and to stop overly loud and enthusiastic , snorting , chewing , scratching and tapping.
In years gone by if he gave me a cheeky grin at a bad time I'd say , " Oi! Don't look at Me in that tone of voice !"
If his eyes are closed and he starts snoring , he gets a jab from the blunt end of my giant knitting needles ( it's like a walking stick!!) , as Fatigue prevents me being able to throw a shoe at his head anymore!!😋😂😂😂
I really do wonder how he puts up with me as well!
Parker has learned over the years how to cope. His coping mechanism involves Pigeons and a large loft for them at the bottom of the garden. They only have love in their eyes especially at feeding time. Bit like me once back in the Triassic period. They don’t answer back and love to be fondled and talked to in a gentle cooing voice that expresses his love. Unless of course they are late back from a race 200 miles across the channel. Then he adopts the “Stare of Disincarnation”.
I bet that would feel like the perfect gift now , he was proving he was a long term keeper , thinking ahead and wanting to be the one to keep you warm. Xxx
My OH is having his second eye operation in a month, on the 14th! He had to sleep sitting upright for 10 days after the first - I think it's 3 days this time.
The surgeon 'apologised' to us that it was to be on Valentine's day, to which I replied "Each day is Valentine's Day in our house"!
No, it's this Friday - Valentine's Day! My phrasing was ambiguous - he will have had 2 ops within a month of each other - the first on January 17th and the second on Feb 14th.
He's just brought me a cuppa, so I've given him your good wishes!
That's such a lovely gesture , and a nod to the real sentiment of Valentine's Day , to remember the true meaning of Love and give appreciation and thanks to all those whom show us love and friendship.
I don't think I can give chocolate to my Physio , but I was thinking of giving him a gift , the only idea I have come up with so far is a Pineapple , I don't know what that says about Me!!!
You have a great sense of humour which makes us all chuckle💕My OH had a spinal stroke 2 yrs ago which i think triggered my relapse.He keeps wanting to keep trying to be sexual but it's me thats too tired and happy to see my pillow and bed at the end of my day!!
I totally empathize with you , although it helps to laugh about things , it is a sensitive situation. Both of you may have Chronic conditions , but the way the pain affects you and your abilities , interest and needs can be very different . Sometimes it's hard to talk about it to as the Stress of a conversation can take it's toll. Its awkward to talk about in public too , so if you fancy a chat please do send me a personal message I would be happy to listen xx
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