Stressed : My dear husband has been diagnosed with... - PMRGCAuk


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Lynnray profile image

My dear husband has been diagnosed with heart problems and needs triple heart by pass he is73 fit well never had a days illness and only found out as mentioned at his yearly checkup he got a bit breathless walking the dog uphill ,he is still working in a job he loves he works for the film industry building sets he wants to work till he is 75 then he would have done 60 years!, his consultant said he could be back after 6 weeks (he has just stated the new Batman movie)

I have got down to 7mg of preds I’m so stressed my body aches shoulders very bad I’m so tired , not sleeping ,tearful , trying to be so positive for hubby

I was doing so well having given methotrexate a go but side effects too much felt so much better when I stopped them

Dose stress make Pmr worst,should I increase dosage ? given amatriptline. When first stated on preds but made me very sleepy, but heard it can work as antidepressant,

Not seeing rhumie till nov, and don’t want to see doc as hubby would want to know and I don’t want to stress him out

Any ideas dear fellow members?..

25 Replies
Yellowbluebell profile image

Yes stress makes pmr worse is the simple answer but other more more technically people will be along to explain it. I up my dose of pred to help with expected stress but you need to run this by a gp/rheumy. Amitriptyline works well as an antidepressant for me and i have been on a quite large dose for years with no side effects. Other people have s small dose and dont get on with it. You need to see your gp even if this will possibly worry your husband initially because you need to be as well as you can be so you can support him. Xx

Yes I will chat to doctor. I should think of me as long road a head, but after 44 years together I’m sure we can survive this little hiccup at least I will have him home for 6 Weeks🤪probably glad for him to get back to batman!,

Yellowbluebell profile image
YellowbluebellAmbassador in reply to Lynnray

I have mine at home every day since he broke his back in fire service 10nywars ago and although i love him dearly he drives me totally up the wall on a daily basis. You will be desperate to have him from under your feet within a couple of weeks!! You might need a shed to escape to or to lock him in!!

We love them but boy are we glad when they have an awayday😂

Yellowbluebell profile image
YellowbluebellAmbassador in reply to Lynnray

If hes out i just chill. No tv or music on just silence

Quite agree, sitting in summer house right now, my escape and sanctuary!...

Yellowbluebell profile image
YellowbluebellAmbassador in reply to Longtimer

You just have to get away from them sometimes!! I often feel like locking myself away. Or locking him up!! Either way, just peace and quiet!!


Hi Lynnray

Sorry to hear about your husband, that must have been a blow for him if he’s always been fit & well.

But first, your good self.....

You have reached the Physiological Dose ie the amount we need under normal circumstances, it’s approximately the amount of Cortisol we would make everyday if we weren’t on Pred.

So, l think you’ve probably overshot the level that keeps your PMR under control, can you pinpoint that dose? I think you could benefit from returning to that dose.

With regard to Amitriptyline, the trick is to take it early enough in the evening, some people take it going to bed & wake up groggy, try 7.30pm & go to bed around 10pm & hopefully you’ll have slept off the effects, it’s worth a try as it really helps relax the muscles.

Let us know about you previous dose of Pred & where you felt better then perhaps we can make a suggestion.

Kind Regards


Lynnray profile image
Lynnray in reply to

Thank you around 8-10 felt great was taking 1/2 a 10mg tablet of amatriptlyn but sstopped months ago will try again taking it earlier

in reply to Lynnray


You could try 10mg for a week to give you a boost, then back to say 8mg which may just ‘hold you’ without being too big a backward step.

And, yes try the Amitriptyline earlier, set an alarm on your phone to remind you, l still have mine after taking it for years 😉

Good Luck 🍀


Lynnray profile image
Lynnray in reply to

Such good advise will do that

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer

Stress may well increase your PMR symptoms, or it may just increase the inflammation side of it, and normally I would say don’t increase the Pred “just in case” . However as you already have shoulder pains it does sound as if you need to - plus it’s also around the level your adrenals need to think about kicking back in.

You do also need to talk to your doctor about your situation now, and after your husband’s operation.

A triple bypass is a very common operation - and very successful for most people, but (as I know) it is still very worrying for you. But you just have to trust the system, and as your husband doesn’t have any other issues he should recover quickly.

Best wishes to you both 🌹

Lynnray profile image
Lynnray in reply to DorsetLady

Thankyou so much just putting it in written felt good ,I wii have a chat to doctor

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to Lynnray

Please do, you will need to be strong for your husband - during and after the operation - so when he rests, you do as well!

Don’t try and use that time to “do things” - “things” can wait!

Lynnray profile image
Lynnray in reply to DorsetLady

Yes looking forward to playing nurse and catching up on box sets😁

I am in a similar situation and have had to up my pred to be able to cope. I had managed after 31/2 years to reduce to 10mg. At the moment I need 12.5 to be able to function as I need. to. The stress of hospital appointments can not be over emphased. Also the stress transferred from your husband will be added and the stress of not knowing that your body will be able to do what you need it to do when you need it.

I have had marvellous support from the people here. If you click on my emoji and read some of the replies to my posts you too may benefit.

I'm sure others will come forward to help you too. Please feel free to ask anything at any time.

All best wishes for a good outcome to you both.

Lynnray profile image
Lynnray in reply to scats

Thankyou what would we do without this site it’s like a warm duvet on a cold day

scats profile image
scats in reply to Lynnray

So true!

Yes Stress , both from good and bad Life events , can increase your symptoms and bring on a Flare , I coincidentally even wrote a post on this very topic today.

The most important thing when dealing with Stress is to find the simplest way to get it under control so that it stops triggering your symptoms , as , even if you increase your dose to help deal with the immediate increase in your pain , if you do not deal with the thing that has caused you Stress the pain keeps coming back.

In terms of your Husband's news. It is scary , upsetting and stressful but there is a big slice of hope in your husband's story. As you say , apart from the heart issue he is physically fit and has no other health issues.

My Uncle was much the same as your husband , had his bypass , and was back on a football pitch after 6 weeks working as a referee.

Bypass Operations are quite common and very successful , and with a few changes in diet and maybe a few more breaks to cope with the Physical Stress at his work he should be able to reach his target of 60 years on Set!!

I understand that you are worried about concerning him whilst he is ill by going to a Doctor , but you will make him alot more concerned if he sees your health going down in front of his eyes and thinks that he is responsible . The worst case scenario being that he might start shielding you from his issues and stop telling you if something is wrong . A vicious circle.

Your Stress and increase in Pain is understandable , so if you are just open and honest with your OH and explain that as you both have alot going on at the moment , and you want to be the most help to him as you can , you are just going to visit the GP to get a little extra help and advice and might increase your medication . This will probably make him feel better and give you both the relief you need .

When your pain is controlled , you can concentrate on coming to terms with the news and trying some relaxation techniques to keep you calm during this testing time.

Take care and I hope you make that appointment very soon .

Thankyou your all right just needed to hear all your replies feeling more positive already💝

PMRpro profile image

There have been a few posts about stress and PMR recently:

(bearing in mind that bereavement comes in many shapes and sizes and isn't "just" relating to people)

are just two and there are often questions asking why do I feel rubbish - and when we dig a bit it is a flare after a period of stress. Even the stress of travel/holidays can do it!

But it sounds as if you have gone too low anyway and could do with a tad more pred.

My mother had a triple bypass done the best part of 30 years ago. She lived in Dundee and had to go to Glasgow for the operation. The day after the op she was up and laughing and joking with the other patients - it was quite a party on the cardiac ward I gather even if it hurt to laugh. After a week she was transferred back to Dundee who sent her home the next day. Within a week she was walking quite a distance and had a very good recovery, getting back to all her former activities right up until she died 11 years later.

I think the term triple bypass always sounds scary - the operation isn't any bigger than a single bypass really, except they have to sew in 3 bits of replacement plumbing instead of just one. Of course there are risks - there always are with surgery so it would be stupid to say there aren't - but they are rare.

It depends on the heart unit but the two I have had anything to do with forbad visitors for 24 hours after surgery and we were not allowed to hang around at the hospital waiting. The surgeon rang to say things were OK at the end of surgery and I could call for a bulletin. I think that was good - the patient needs rest post-op and it is upsetting seeing someone you love in pain which is inevitable post-op. Which then upsets them too.

So pleased to hear about your mum, yes it’s a big name for a little job

As he will be in London I’m staying in hotel up there so looking forward to the trip and shopping visiting museums ect I will pop in to see him🤕🤕🤕

I think I will up preds for a few weeks to give me a boost and try the amatrip and thanks for the helpx

Bless you

I am sure he will be well looked after

I know its not the same but I had a Heart Attack end of May and spent 4 days in Critical Care Heart Unit and then 6 Days in the step down unit before undergoing a Angiogram.

The Care I received was first class and was followed up with 8 weeks attending combined NHS and BHF exercise class and talks re Heart Heath and exercise.

I now attend BHF exercise classes once a week many of the others have had the same surgery as your Husband will be having and thay put me to shame .

These classes are country wide

Please dont stress out to much follow others advice and make time for yourself

Take Care

Lynnray profile image
Lynnray in reply to Rose54

Thankyou I’m glad your better it’s nice to hear from other someone who’s been through it ,classes sound good he is always telling me he might like yoga so perhaps this is the push he needs

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