Morning all Forum Folks and Faraway Friends , Auntie Bleary-eyed here .
I hope the title of my post hasn't made you spill your morning brew in shock , thinking that I have finally lost my last marble , but I can hear you all shouting in horror even over the roar of winds in Rustic Wales , " What the heck is she going on about now , the lunatic!!!" , so I will explain.
When we are diagnosed with our Chronic Illness , be it PMR/ GCA , Fibro , or any of the multitude of Pain Syndromes " on the Market" the question we all ask ourselves is , " Why Me?".
" What caused this to happen ? What was the trigger ? " and then as we cope with our new and most demanding " Friend" this question grows into ," Why do I Flare up? Why do I feel so bad one day and so good the next?".
It seems as difficult a question to answer as the Missing Link in Evolution, and that may be because when searching for the secret we don't look at all the possible answers.
When you have been here for some time , you begin to read a common pattern in people's answers to the , ' Big Questions of Why' .
Stress is always the Common Denominator and many of us attribute the onset of our Illness to Negative Life Experiences.
A death in the Family . Another Severe Illness . Injury or Infection. High Pressure in the Workplace . Dealing with Family Trauma , or Caring for a sick Family Member, are often the causes most commonly discussed. All definitely Stressful situations that could have been the final trigger to your new Malaise . Trauma is always easier to see or remember .
But, how about all those poor sleep deprived , Fatigued and aching souls , whom did not think they had Stress or any Big Life Event or Illness before their condition began .
Those poor people who feel like they flounder in the dark , they had the Good Life. They were well , exercised regularly , were genuinely happier and looking forward to a brighter and better future , until suddenly , one morning , without warning, they couldn't get out of bed.
Well , the answer here is you were probably experiencing Stress as well , it's just that you didn't know it.
"How can this be Aunty Bee , you bubble headed fool!" , you yell loudly at your screen , " Have you finally lost the plot!"
Well ... possibly , but on the matter of Understanding Stress I firmly have my head screwed on .
It is not that we were not suffering Stress as a "trigger" before we became ill , but that our understanding of the real definition of Stress is at fault .
Have you ever heard the old saying , ' You can have too much of a good thing!"
Well , when it comes to Stress on the body and mind, that is absolutely true.
It is not uncommon for many of us to say Life was great before PMR or Chronic Pain .
We just retired and had begun to enjoy our new life . A new baby arrived . A child got married or left home for University . We began a new job or life adventure . We were in the best physical shape in years . We found a new life partner , it goes on and on and on .....
What do all of these things have in common , Good Stress.
As you see, Stress is not always a bad thing . Often it can be a very , very good thing. The Best thing in our lives in fact.
You see real Medical Stress is not always something that "harms" our Minds and Bodies in the way we understand Harm, but is simply a big Physical or Mental Change in our behaviour beyond that which our Physical System was prepared for ,or, could cope with at the current level.
That's why your Chronic Illness could come on as you were about to embark on the best phase of your Lifetime , or were as Happy as a Hippy at Woodstock.
That is why you can have had the holiday of a lifetime or have ticked an item off your bucket list , and then feel like you had died the next day, lying face down in bed , wishing your Family would bury you in the garden in a box under a tree next to the hamster ( as flushing you down the toilet like the Goldfish could be a bit too messy!).
And that's why , a big house move can hit you six months after you have settled in and feel warm and contented and have started enjoying the garden or doing the decorating. Or a year after retirement when you feel like you are enjoying the relaxed and restful Life.
It also explains the mysterious phenomena that can occur long after we get used to having a Chronic condition. When we can go through an illness or distressing event and do not experience a Flare , but become floored by a quiet Birthday lunch out with our friends. It's because we get used to taking precautions to deal with trauma but don't use the same protective strategies to deal with the ' Good Times' too.
Understanding this can help us all now that we have a Chronic Condition learn how to pace ourselves better . Gaining the realisation that we must balance the good, as well as the bad , and the downright ugly , to prevent us having so many Flares , Bad Days and obstacles in the road to recovery is the best eye opener you can have on your journey with any sort of Chronic Pain.
And most importantly , it can stop us all adding to the burden of our illness by trying to anxiously find fault with ourselves for ending up with PMR , GCA or any other Chronic Pain Condition too. As Guilt is the one type of Stress we can all take control of.
Essentially , it was just Life , with the added dimensions of Ageing and Genetics that caused it , and none of us are in control of all of that and certainly wouldn't have wanted to not Live at all.
We have Hope from this.
As , with a new Understanding of Stress , being a thing , that can impact on our Health no matter how Good or Bad our Life is , we can learn to Pace ourselves even better for the Future .
Prepare slower and rest more during even the best of activities as well as during the worst and you will do yourself a World of Good.
And know, just because it takes us a week to do something that we used to do in a few hours , this is not a Failure in us or something to feel bad or guilty about . Its just a New Success in our way of learning to live in the " New Normal" by managing Stress in our lives in a way that helps us reduce the Pain and enjoy our Futures.
So , you see , Auntie Bleary-eyed has not gone mad , at least not in relation to the title of this post , although the jury is probably still out in every other way.
Have a good day everyone , and I hope now your eyes are opened about the True Meaning of Stress it can help you manage your Life in a way that brings you far less pain.
Hugs , Auntie Bee xxx
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