The Lighter Side of PMR GCA: This Week's (therapeutic?) Online Shopping Adventures. You Couldn't Make it Up. Or could you?.. ;-)

[markbenjamin57]

Greetings to All here, wherever you are in the World and whatever your leanings in the On / Off Topic, er, 'discussion' - or any other Stress-inducing discussion for that matter.

Only to say: don't lean too far and / or suddenly if you have Pred Head, Brain Fog, DF or any related symptom of PMR, GCA and / or the Preds. And, for Gawd's sake PLEASE DON'T MENTION the Bre*it word and get into a debate about Politics or we'll ALL get chucked-off the forum for messing about. You have been warned...

So, on with the (NOTE: SILLY) Plot:

Having emerged blinking from the recent DF (or was it from the blinking DF?), I got busy today scouring the Small Ads on a certain Social Meeja website for any tasty Bargains and Collectables. It helps to pass the time - that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

The following carefully-worded Listings caught my attention....

1 x Used Side-Bored. Bought new for £300 but fed up with it so selling for a Fiver. Can't be bothered keeping it.

Guilt Mirror - small crack in centre but works ok if you look at it sideways?

2 x Sued Mens' Jackets - light damages

Large, comfy Swede Hat - M / F or Unisex. Environ-mentally friendly. Let's save the Planet!

112 piece Silver Cutlery Suit (some spoons missing)

Large Set of Draws - clean condition apart from some superficial chaffing

Silk embroidered Off-the-Hat-Face - good for Weddings? (size 12)

Cod Player (with selection of Popular Cod's)

Assorted House Holed Items

Free to Collector - Various Stuff. No Silly offers please!!!

Large Brief Case. Would suit busy lawyer (or maybe an exhibitionist?)

New, large 'BEWARE OF THE GOD ' sign (bought in error for the local Church)

1 Bed Plaice to Rent in WSM - Non Smokers only

Mens 3 piece Suet (size XXL - has a few pudding stains but will wash out)

FREE!!! 36 new unused Self Improvement books (can't be bothered to read them)

Well, where to start - and spoilt for Choice?!

Wishing You Lot a warmer, milder weekend as Spring slowly dawns - and try to keep smiling on the PMR GCA Journey... (you know the rest).

'Uncle' MB

[Grants148]

Thanks for making me laugh Mark,have a good weekend and enjoy the nice spring weather in WSM ,you will have to keep an eye on Tedski now that spring is in the air !

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Grants148]

Ohhh.. there's no knowing what he'll get up to (as usual)!

[teesher]

I like the 112 piece Silver Cutlery Suit (some forks missing) - how on earth? Perhaps used to prod oneself in the early days of pmr agony. Hey we've all been there.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to teesher]

A fork in the Road teesher? Or.. a few forks missing from the full canteen..?

[HeronNS in reply to markbenjamin57]

And now it says some spoons - hahaha!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to HeronNS]

Ha - well spotted Heron, thought that might be more relevant!

[Grants148]

I like the Beware of the God sign !

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Grants148]

The Chief Magistrate in Venice (Italy) has a similar sign: 'Beware of the Doge'. Get it..?

[CT-5012 in reply to markbenjamin57]

Groan...🤪

[markbenjamin57 in reply to CT-5012]

What do you expect..?

[CT-5012 in reply to markbenjamin57]

My expectations have been met in full. 😂😂😂😂😂

I was a little late reading your red stuff ramblings, I usually read it in the wee small hours of Saturday but last night slept until six am for the first time in three years...result! 😂

[markbenjamin57 in reply to CT-5012]

That's the answer then CT: DON'T read my silly stuff and you'll get a good night's sleep.

[CT-5012 in reply to markbenjamin57]

I wish......

[Sandradsn]

One pair nearly new dentures,only two teeth missing,offers?? 😁🤣😂

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Sandradsn]

Nice offer S, I'll chew things over and let you know

[Blearyeyed]

Yah!!!

Normal ( or should I say Abnormal!) Service has been resumed .

No wonder the sun is considering popping out again and there is a new warmth in the air.

Breathing big sigh of relief , and considering a mirror racked with guilt , would fit in perfectly with my cupboard of low self esteem and my sofa of quiet despair😋😁

Hugs , Bee xx

[markbenjamin57]

Thanks Bee

Please keep this reply under your hat and don't share it with any of That other Lot:

I do in fact work for the UK HMASSS (Her Majesty's Abnormal Silly Secret Service) in the monitoring and pursuit of all things Silly. It's a far from glamorous, and also tough Professional Life. I constantly live in disguise (usually as a failed X Factor contestant - easy enough), crack inane gags and make-up alibies to mask my true identity. (Clue 'Tedski')

But, this is all part and parcel of the career of a true and dedicated HMASSS agent. Or even a Double Agent for The Other Side?

What 'Other Side' I hear you ask? Ohh, I've said too much...

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to markbenjamin57]

You may have to be shot...

[markbenjamin57 in reply to PMRpro]

Form an orderly queue please...

[CT-5012 in reply to PMRpro]

Oh no😱

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to CT-5012]

It's his fault - he said too much ...

[markbenjamin57 in reply to PMRpro]

I kknow nutheeng Meestaire Fawlty...

[SheffieldJane]

😂🤣🌞🌞🌞

[GOOD_GRIEF]

Nice to see you back in fine form, Uncle MB.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to GOOD_GRIEF]

Ta G_G, couldn't resist

[scats]

How do you live with yourself?

[Rokerman in reply to scats]

He doesn’t - he lives with a small ursine friend who shares the gilt - I mean guilt..🤣

[markbenjamin57 in reply to scats]

With some difficulty scats ;-/

[Blackcat1M]

Oh just what I needed this morning, after a bad night, the sun is out so will my washing soon.

Have a good weekend, look forward to your stories, by the way who is Tedski

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Blackcat1M]

Thanks Blackcat, you too. Tedski..? Trawl through some of my recent (mainly silly) Posts and you'll find out - if you dare...

[Suet3942]

You’re like a breath of fresh air Uncle MB. So funny. Love to Tedski. Have to watch him now Spring is in the air!. 😜😜

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Suet3942]

Well Sue, I try. Watch out, Tedski's about! Currently chasing seagulls and terrorising young children on WSM seafront. Oh, another ASBO I fear...

[Longtimer]

You`ve cheered me up again!......thank you......

Watched interesting programme this week about WSM and the "bridge"...….

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Longtimer]

All part of the service Lt. I heard something about that programme. The bridge...? Tell me more?

[Longtimer in reply to markbenjamin57]

Hope this isn't my predhead playing up....but I think maybe it was on the "Oneshow" 7pm......it showed the bad state it was in and how when paddle steamers dec lined, so did the bridge.....maybe it wasn't WSM......but I thought it was.....it showed it in all it's glory years ago....interesting......

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Longtimer]

Ahh, The One Show. Probably WSM, the steamers used to come over from Welsh Wales many years ago. WSM used to be a music hall joke but actually it's quite a smart place nowadays.

[Grants148]

Dear Blee,you should never have a low self esteem,or a sofa of quietdespair,but l do know the feeling,all the ups and downs of our illness can really challenge our moods and emotions. Thank goodness Uncle Mark is still cheering us up,lt just would not be the same without his amusing posts,l miss yours too ,they were always interesting andvery well written.l know that you are a very talented artist,l hope that you will be able to get back on track with your creative side before too long,much love Patricia xx

[Paulamac77]

What a laugh Mark, thank you. My family forbid me to look at a certain “social Meeja” website in the evening because it sends my Pred stress levels through the roof. I’m still coming to terms with the “bartroom basin and taps for sale” and, no, their name wasn’t Simpson. At the same time, it can be endless fun playing spot the spelling ....

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Paulamac77]

Spot the Spelling - we could be on a roll with this one!

[CT-5012 in reply to markbenjamin57]

Auto correct role?

[morrison]

Really funny. Perhaps we should have a funny quote every day and post it in to cheer up everyone. Xx

[markbenjamin57 in reply to morrison]

I agree J...

[morrison]

Here's one for you. RED HOSE DAY is fast approaching. That's enough to dampen your spirit's. Ha ha. X

[markbenjamin57 in reply to morrison]

Boom boom!

[CT-5012]

Some time ago had a ride on the Pitchy Richy Railway, whoever made the sign didn’t think about the power of the Australian sun and the initial letters were done in red, the sign now reads: itchy itchy ailway.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to CT-5012]

Lovely! Reminds me of the one about a sign outside a Leisure Centre where some wag removed a key capital letter from the wording: 'All Members must show their Passes'.

[kulina]

You've got Bre*it and we've got Tru*p, so I know the feeling. Thank you for the laugh, this is really funny.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to kulina]

All part of the service kulina..

[9lives]

For#k handles !!

Any 000 hos#e !!

I’m loving your post you always make us laugh , spoilt for choice eh ?

Carole

[markbenjamin57 in reply to 9lives]

Ah Carole, vintage stuff from the 2 Ronnies! Nearly mentioned those old 2 gags but thought I'd get caught out for plagiarism, so I made up some of my own. Or did I...?

[Cyclegirl54]

Always good at cheering me up. Having a down day today .

[Telian]

Only just read Mark, got tears streaming down my face ...the missing spoons has to be someone from Us Lot overusing their quota?

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Telian]

Ha Terri. 2 weeks later? Keep up please. On the other hand.. haven't you got anything better to do?

[Telian in reply to markbenjamin57]

It’s how it is lately but better late than never. We all had a laugh, thanks.