Was it Worth it? : On Saturday March 24 we (my... - PMRGCAuk

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Was it Worth it?

105 Replies

On Saturday March 24 we (my husband and I) embarked on a road trip from Brighton to York; a trip that was estimated at about 5.5 hours by car.

We had rented a really cute Terrace House for the week and at the end of the week my daughter Arielle and my ADORABLE grandson, Max, were scheduled to arrive in York, from Manchester, and stay a few days. We'd all go back to our respective homes on Easter Sunday.

The week was to be filled with meeting Estate Agents (I know, a fate worse than death!) and looking at potential properties, as we're thinking about relocating to the York area.

I had had two AMAZING weeks (health wise) prior to this trip... I was feeling like the "old me" again. At least for much of the day and for several days a week. I thought I had turned a corner on the GCA, PMR, steroid side effects, steroid withdrawal bullshit and maybe, just maybe it was all going to be less of an intrusion in my life! That was the hope!

I knew the trip, change in routine, change in eating habits, Easter candy and rolling on the floor with Max would be stressful or a bit more demanding than I'm used too. I listened to and vowed to heed DorsetLady's warnings as that lady knows her stuff!

It was a good week, with lots of going and doing and seeing. Once A&M arrived, we slowed down; no more estate agents, we went for leisurely walks, out to cafe's and restaurants and rolled on the floor, with lots of playing with toys and reading books. Ahem.... there may have been some eating of Lindt chocolate bunnies and a glass or perhaps eight of wine may have passed through my lips.

I did not feel particularly stressed or over-burdened; I went to bed at my normal time, tried to eat fairly healthy, took my meds... and in general tried to keep things on an even keel as they would be at home.

However when we returned home, Sunday evening, I was knackered. Although there had been no traffic and the trip was a "piece of cake," I was tired and went to bed early.

Monday took me by surprise when it presented with aching thighs, tingling feet and that fuzzy, "something's just not right" feeling.

This entire week, no matter how much I've rested, I continue to struggle with that horrid head fogginess, aches in my thighs, tingling in my feet and legs, that uncomfortable feeling of not really feeling "me," and that general "BLAH," "I don't give a damn" attitude towards everything.

I had been doing so well!

I was feeling almost "good" again.

Feeling like a real "human."

Feeling like "ME."

It was really nice to get away. It was lovely to have a change of scenery and spend quality time with my family. It was GREAT to see Arielle and play with, hug and smother Max with kisses, but, it's Friday and as I sit here on the couch feeling lousy... I really can't help asking...

"Was it worth it?"

PS - Thanks to Soraya_PMR, I have picked my big butt off the couch 3 times this week and managed to walk 1.6 miles on two days and 2.0 miles today! I guess that's something!

105 Replies
SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane

You are doing well and sometimes it is worth it to play at being normal for a bit. If you had the pain and stiffness that the illness brings without the help of steroids you simply wouldn’t be able to do all these things. You probably wouldn’t be able to get out of bed. It’s always a shock when we are so knocked about by normal activities. I went to Bath for a couple of days. The first day I behaved like a normal person, exploring and going out for a posh meal. The second day I was up for going round on one of those tour buses, then a simple quiet meal in the flat we’d rented. I am good for nothing now we’re back, not even carrying a basket of wet washing to the dryer. Psychologically I feel much lighter though, I went somewhere, I daydreamed about living there. I lapped up the architecture and history. Life cannot be all pills and sofa. I am sending this from the sofa, full of pills. 😉

in reply toSheffieldJane

Thanks for that Jane... You and I seem to share so many parallels. It always makes me feel "normal," after I've heard from you. Thank you !

Hollyseden profile image
Hollyseden in reply toSheffieldJane

Sheffieldjane I love that! "play at being normal" 😊 I feel as if I play that game a lot.

Leilagirl profile image
Leilagirl

Yes .. it seems you were amazing on your trip. Something you and Max will never forget! Feel better!

in reply toLeilagirl

True! Thanks for the reminder... : )

stellafmdm profile image
stellafmdm

what a lovely weekend of happy memories for you! However it does look like you pushed the boundaries a bit too far this time! Do take it easy and rest a bit till you feel better, maybe even up the Pred a little for a few days till you begin to recover? I hope your real ME is not too far away but just having a day off (or two?) Rest first and only when you begin to feel better start doing a bit more!!!! love and a big hug!

in reply tostellafmdm

Thanks, I did wonder about upping the Pred... or at least not tapering down on the 9th like I'm supposed to (if I still feel crap). Cheers!

GOOD_GRIEF profile image
GOOD_GRIEF

Yeah, sure, like you'd really rather stay home than go on an outing that brings your daughter and grandson along for a visit. Fat chance. I think you'd walk over mountains to do that.

Have you forgotten that before PMR/GCA, that even after lovely vacations we were exhausted and needed a rest when we got home? Have you forgotten that brain fog returning to the office on Monday after a long weekend?

Of course it was worth it. But now you'll have to take it a bit easier for a week or so. You'll soon regain yourself. Just give it a chance.

Hollyseden profile image
Hollyseden in reply toGOOD_GRIEF

A reminder that after a nice wee break we need a break to recover! I'll bear that in mind. I'm off to Belfast tomorrow on a jolly with college friends from 45 years ago. Can't miss it but will bear this in mind for next week 😣

"Yeah, sure," indeed!!!! : ) : ) : ) : )

Yes, actually I had forgotten!!!! Thank you for the reminder!!!

Patience has NEVER been one of my virtues!

Hollyseden profile image
Hollyseden in reply to

Not one of my best virtues either 😉

Rose54 profile image
Rose54

PMR has a habit of biting us on our Bums just when we are feeling safe

Have you tried Epson salt bath may help a bit

Listen to your body rest and sleep when you need to over the weekend

It was sooo worth it

I rolled around a play centre with a two year old for 1.5 hours a few weeks ago hit me two days later I was so sore I thought i may have forgot to take my Steroids.

My Son asked me if I wanted him to stay home as i was meant to be baby sitting I said no I would rest and take it easy .

He told my Grandson to look after me .

Next minute 2 years old he covered us both up in his quilt gave me a teddy bear and pointed to TV .Mohan , The Good Dinosaur, Boss Baby and a few episodes of Benjamin Bunny plus nap in afternoon .

Good nights sleep I was back to normal

in reply toRose54

Thanks Rose54, Yes, I did the Epson Salt baths on Monday and Tuesday... I may go jump in now, as it did seem to help with the achy legs and helped me just relax and stop worrying about not feeling quite "right.

Oooooooooo, that is an adorable grandchild story!!!!! Maybe I just need Mohan , The Good Dinosaur, Boss Baby and a few episodes of Benjamin Bunny!!!!

Cheers!

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to

And Max in the crook of your arm with his fragrant baby head just under your nose. You lucky women!

in reply toSheffieldJane

It was heaven!

Soraya_PMR profile image
Soraya_PMR in reply toRose54

What a darling Grandson. How sweet and loving 💕 💕

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply toRose54

Grandchildren give off some kind of healing essence and natural pain relief. I envy your recuperation toddler style!

Rose54 profile image
Rose54 in reply toSheffieldJane

Hi

I don't very often get to do it as its a five hour trip to see them but try to get their as often as possible

Thank God theirs Skype

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply toRose54

My daughter in Australia and I have IPads so we FaceTime. Even when I am in bed I’m not safe. (I find my own face disconcerting with its moonlike contours). Theo came close to the screen with his chocolate button eyes, to tell me quietly that he’d run out of Lego ( he made everything I sent for Easter). Next job click click, more Lego on its way, magic.

in reply toSheffieldJane

Ohhhhh I love it! Yes, all Arielle has to do is mention that Max 'liked this" or Max played with "that" at day care... and I'm on Amazon!

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer

Of course it was worth it!

As you get stronger the after affects will diminish, but you have to remember you still have the underlying GCA/PMR in you...and it likes nothing better than to remind you of that fact from time to time!

in reply toDorsetLady

I would be disappointed if you didn't!!!! xxx

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador

You just need a bit more practice at pacing. And not poking the gorilla into life.

It is a perfectly natural response on the part of your body to you having been doing what you wanted to do and not what you should do. Everyone does it as some point however much we try to warn people about it. Just retreat to a corner and sleep (or rest as much as you can) and let that heal you.

This too shall pass.

teesher profile image
teesher in reply toPMRpro

I absolutely love that phrase 'poking the gorilla into life'. Perfect description of PMR.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply toteesher

Have you seen the post with the gorilla?

healthunlocked.com/pmrgcauk......

in reply toPMRpro

Poke. Poke. Poke. : )

Alliand profile image
Alliand in reply to

To All About Traveling,

How on point; my husband and I both want to take a vacation, but I can't even get it together to plan where and when; this from a world traveler; first time no trip in over a year! He does all the housework now, and I usually do all the internet / Bill paying work. I am having problems managing the slightest task.

Good for the vacation-goer; still so many places to see and things to do, and a gorilla blocking the travel gates.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply toAlliand

It may not be the same sort of travel you are used to, you have to think laterally not assume things and you have to start small and probably closer to home. But it is possible to get away. But don't plan the "3 weeks in Europe doing the sights" type of holiday - they don't work too well in the first couple of years of PMR.

It never stopped me even when I had PMR without pred - being on pred made things much simpler.

Mstiles profile image
Mstiles

What an encouraging story mamici, you have come so far already. Shows progress is possible! So glad you had a good time with new scenery too along with new family memories.

in reply toMstiles

I have come such a long way... I need to not loose sight of that!!!! I remember days where I was on the couch 6-8 hours a day, sleepy 4-6 of those hours!!!! : o

sharonnorfolk profile image
sharonnorfolk

Of course it was worth. You can put up with anything to have cuddles with Max.

in reply tosharonnorfolk

Ohhhhhhh, his cuddles were soooooooo sweet!

Pongo13 profile image
Pongo13

Sounds like you had a great time but are paying for it now. I think I'm finding out myself that is how it goes! PMR is a bummer - I.e. that's where you need to be now, resting on your bum! It will get better, it's just such a slow process. I think you've done loads - walking too. Amazing.

in reply toPongo13

Yep! I am out there walking, even though I\d rather be on the couch!!!!

York would kill me. I lived there for a few years and spent half my time dodging tourists. I couldn't dodge anymore so if you went strolling ...well done. I suppose Brighton has similar issues.

I lived near the mucklefate...mmmm auto correct. The Micklegate run and I would suggest a trip there when students are about too and not just tourists. Makes a different where you chose to live...both good and bad. Don't, please, get suckered into being right at the side of the river unless it been made flood safe. It floods a lot. Apart from that it was okay. 😂😂😂

in reply to

Good tip! Days after we left we read an article about the river flooding!!!!!

Yes, Brighton is Tourist Heaven May through August! Crazy town, crazy!

We'll have to check out Micklegate!!!! Cheers.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to

Yes - definitely think "is this too close to the river?"!!!! Flooded again the other day someone said...

in reply to

The micklegate run is a road filled with pubs and the students try and visit every pub before closing time. There are all year round tourists but a visit to bettys is recommended for high tea or afternoon tea. If I was buying I would check the past 20s of flooding. I used to cleaner a domestic house part time and she ha 3 to 4 ft steel gates that were to stop. Flooding. The pubs near the bridge completely floods at least once a year. Il ived south east in street that went to river bankand the cars were drowning every time. I lived in a vegan community in an old vicage with a Roman Isis garden. I am sure out a changed a lot and at least close to all the moors and dales.

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to

I lived in Edinburgh. I liked the fact that people came from all over the world to visit. I loved it when they all went home too and we had secret Sunny days and no wind whipping your cheeks. It felt like the party came to you it was buzzy.

in reply toSheffieldJane

It's lovely until you have to get to your work and can't get through the crowds. I always loved York as a kid and continued to until I lived within the city walls. As a city it is beautiful. Going down to the Roman parts of the Minster and sneaking a touch of columns that some Roman soldier might have touched us thrilling. Knowing the Viking history etc and walking the wall marvellous. Walking down the shambles at 6 in the morning...lovely. going up the Minster tower and seeing lots of my beloved yorkshire...stunning. Sitting in the Minster, even as an atheist, is calming and beautiful.

Okay now I want to visit again. 😂 see I do like it but as someone who walks slowly with a crutch it's scary in crowds. People just barge and when they bang sore shoulders etc and walk off without so much as an exchanged sorry. Well it makes me downright grumpy.

in reply to

You make it sound even more lovely! Unfortunately there are rude people everywhere, you just cant get away from them... and yes as I become older, I feel more vulnerable in crowds. I read this article that said if you walk as tall as you can, in a straight line (giving no indication that you will be moved from your path) and you look straight ahead, past the people in your immediate path... they will move! And by golly it works. I walk the streets of Brighton look far ahead of me... I don't make eye contact with any of the people coming towards me, I just look past them. And I'll be damned, if they don't step out of my way! I have shown my husband and daughter how it really works and just laugh!

in reply to

Yes I do that and I tend to occasionally swing my crutch out😂 I think anything is horses for courses. I couldn't live in the wilds of Scotland or Wales etc miles from anything but a bustling city is equally hard to consider. I live in a largish city but in a corner of it. It is largely considered a socially deprived area but I love the diversity and I do speak to neighbours or at least wave and smile. I have a couple of Slovakian romanies on one side and Pakistani and British Asians on the other. Over the past 20 years I have had African, polish and Indian neighbours in the rented property next door. It's the longest I have lived anywhere in my adult life so I must like it. It has what I want at the moment. Everyone should be able to live somewhere that makes them as happy as I am here.

in reply to

I agree! Your current place sounds interesting and quite diverse! I love that!

tgca profile image
tgca in reply to

I do the same as you in Brighton and the scary thing is, they all seem to be SO young!

in reply totgca

HA! They are young!!!!!

in reply toSheffieldJane

YES! I like the "buzz." I too like living in a town/city that people come from all over to visit and in fall, winter and spring it's "our" town again. I think York would be like that... buzzing with diversity in the summer and more calm and quiet in the off peak.

in reply to

The only thing is there's not an off peak like there is at the seaside.

in reply to

True

Soraya_PMR profile image
Soraya_PMR

Ach! Just for a couple of days you could (almost) forget you were poorly, but defo worth the effort I think. You’ll get back to your new normal soon enough. Maybe the PMRGCA has had a little resurgence all on its own? Maybe triggered by your weekend, maybe not, might have happened anyway?

Glad you’re enjoying the walking, just don’t overdo it. As I said to you I went to visit my Dad today. As that was going to use my available energy, I didn’t walk :( I missed my walk! (Might sneak in a quick dusk walk....I can see this walking thing being quite addictive).

Feel better soon.

in reply toSoraya_PMR

2 miles today... It felt good to be out in the sun!!!!!!

Thank you, and yes, it might have happened anyway. And if not... it was worth it. Just cuddling Max, was worth it... the chocolate, wine, and looking at potential new places to live was icing on the cake! The question has been answered. : )

Soraya_PMR profile image
Soraya_PMR in reply to

I walked :) just a quickie, 0.7 Miles (to the chip shop and back!!!) at a pace of 15.5minutes/mile, which is the fastest I have been since PMR. Couldn’t let the chips go cold now could I?

in reply toSoraya_PMR

Good on you!!!!!!

in reply toSoraya_PMR

😣😂😂

in reply to

The sunny crisp days are invigorating and nice sit in the sun is lovely.

venezia1 profile image
venezia1

York is my favourite city in England - you are so lucky to be going to live there. I did in my youth and still visit when I can - in spite of the floods and the winter fogs it's a magical place. U'm amazed ypu can do Brighton to York in 5.5 hours, though!

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply tovenezia1

According to google maps it is four and half hours. Must be at 2am round the M25...

Having sat in AWFUL weekend traffic jams around York on the way to Whitby - wouldn't be my choice I have to say! Too much like where we live now on Saturdays!!!!

in reply toPMRpro

I had to leave due to sheer number of students and tourist. As an graduate of uni of york and did a permanant 5 years there. I could wait to leave. I have taken sleep pills so bannebanned from phone now. Nite everyone.

Soraya_PMR profile image
Soraya_PMR in reply to

Night night. Sleep tight. 😴

venezia1 profile image
venezia1 in reply toPMRpro

Ah! Whitby my second favourite town! I was lucky enough to be at school at Robin Hood's Bay...I must admit traffic is appalling round York ringroad nowadays, which is why I live in the Lake District now! I know we're a bit off message but it is nice to swap memories..

Hollyseden profile image
Hollyseden in reply tovenezia1

Jealous much! Stayed in Robin Hoods Bay a few years ago and absolutely fell in love with it, reminded me of Cornwall where we lived for years. Used to walk along the coastal path into Whitby, but jings that place is busy now 🤤Also love Lake District which we visit often, our children do too, so we've had lots of 3 generation holidays there with them too. Last 7 years have stayed there over New Year, nice n quiet then.

in reply toHollyseden

It sounds like there are a lot beautiful memories rolling around in your head...

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply tovenezia1

I love Robin Hoods Bay and it’s swirling sea mists. It makes me want to write a book about smugglers.

in reply toSheffieldJane

Ooooooo, do it!

in reply tovenezia1

Yes I love Whitby. Many childhood memories running up and down the steps from the camp site on the tops.

in reply toPMRpro

I try not to go anywhere on bank hols anymore. I

vacate my favourite dog and sitting places and let the workers and children have all the parking places.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to

I live in a holiday region and on Saturdays and the morning and evening of any last day of a long weekend holiday is chaos as everyone heads home down a single road, albeit sometimes a motorway. But during any public holiday the place is dead! But our public transport still runs...

in reply tovenezia1

Yeah, I think Google Maps is a bit optimistic... but we actually left both locations at about 11:00am on Sunday morning; there was virtually no traffic, either way (and only one quick toilet break), but it was a little more 5 hours each way... Not bad at all!

"I Love Lucy". Cor! That awoke some ageing brain cells!! Don't make em like that now!!

All the best with your move.

in reply to

Me too! She is my idol!

Mamici, I live about 17 miles from York near Malton. Love it up here. Moved from Surrey, previously lived and grew up in South West London. only been back to London area 3 times in 2 years. I give a sigh of relief on return journey when train pulls out of York station towards home. Love jumping on bus (FREE WITH BUS PASS) or train, to York but have to pace myself - usually sitting in Betty's tea room! Hope you find a property here I'm sure you won't regret it.

in reply to

Ohhh thank you tansy13. I feel in love with York last year when we first visited. We'd be 1.5 hours from my daughter and her family, which I think would be perfect! I do hope it works out. Cheers !

Rimmy profile image
Rimmy

Hi Melissa

Sounds like you had a wonderful time with your family and i am of the mind that it WAS all 'worth it' as it is also quite possible if you had cautiously 'stayed home' you could still have felt unwell at that point - we can never really tell for sure ! Yes I know - 'pacing' and all that is sensible - but as I've said before here I think being sensible is not always what we might 'need' to be at certain points in our lives - otherwise it could all become very predictable and dare i say quite 'boring' !

So I am also myself currently taking the risk of later falling flat on my face to spend time with my children and grandchildren. It is a also a 5,5-6 hour drive from Albany at the bottom of SW Australia up to Perth where they all live. The drive was fine - and our first day of a few here involved walking almost all day - and I seem to have coped very well with that so far. We have several family events planned and quite a lot of eating (if not 'drinking') involved - so I SHOULD perhaps anticipate a later price to pay. But at this point I simply refuse to do that - I'm going to enjoy myself even if I eventually do crash - its just a case of 'Que sera sera ' !

But whatever the outcome at least I will add to my memories - and memories are WHO we are - inevitably.

Rimmy

XX

in reply toRimmy

Ahhhhh Rimmy, I do hope you have a fabulous time and do NOT suffer any of the consequences; but we did agree last week we wont let these dreaded diseases stop us from living, because if we do we're not really living anyway! Enjoy the family and the change of scenery. xxxx

Telian profile image
Telian

Course it was worth it, these special family memories that you made such an effort to get far out-way the constant grind of the illness - they'll keep you going for a while until next time. How did the house hunting go?

PS My grandson is at York Uni

in reply toTelian

You are right Tellan, it was worth it in the end.. this is just a minor set back! We found some lovely places. Unfortunately, my husband and I are not aligned on what we want... I'd like to be outside the city centre and he's like to be in the city centre... so we continue looking. : )

Telian profile image
Telian in reply to

It takes time and you can go ages without agreeing on anything then suddenly it's there. Part of me does think twice when I listen to talk of moving north. Our son, who's son is at YU, lives in Tingley and is always wanting us to move back to Yorkshire...not sure.. we've been here 30 years this year and also another son here - along with such good healthcare it's a tough decision cos things are never the same when you go back..my husband would go back today! Maybe when I'm too old and doddery....

Good luck, it is harder when the grandchildren are small I know..you just can't get enough of them and I hope you move soon - when we left ours we were heartbroken especially the ones who went to Oz - still never got over that and it's 15 years this year!

in reply toTelian

Ohhhh, how very sad. Do you get to see the grandchildren in Oz? I left the USA 8 years ago and left my oldest daughter and a 12 year old grandson (who is now 19!!!!) I was very close to. I have another one there now who was born after I moved here... I get to see them every couple years, but it's not the same. I want the chance to have a relationship with Max, before I kick the bucket!!!!

Don't wait till you're too old and doddery... you want to be able to enjoy it!!!!

Telian profile image
Telian in reply to

I know...... but of course we've been to Oz 5 times- the first year they went in August we'd already booked our flights for that Christmas, I cried all the way home! In fact it brings a tear to my eye writing this...subsequently we have been every two years since - then in 2014 it all came to a halt (I still say it's temporary I don't ever give up) due to GCA in the March, Cancer in the August then PMR followed.

All of this time I am caring for my husband who has numerous chronic conditions and is now too unstable to fly long haul.. sooo we bring them over here instead (I tell them you'll have to make do with cargo though as there's 4 of them!) They're coming over for Christmas again my son will be 50 on 29/12 and when I asked him what he wanted for his birthday he said 'a ticket to see Man U' so that's this year and tickets are booked, we shall all trundle north to Tingley to our eldest sons and have a jolly old time with family, and friends who we have always kept in touch with. I am the eldest of seven and our house in Yorkshire was always the hub for gatherings and catching up!

When we have big parties (now down South) for birthdays I make an effort Marquee, hog roast etc and they all come down - it's great - I pay for the help though now! Yet this year I have a special birthday, 30 years old with 40 years experience (as hubby says) but I won't be making a party for me, I don't like to receive I'm a giver.. so we shall be going 'up north' and my daughter in law is making a 'do'. (I've already started my birthday celebrations just had 4 days in the Algarve with my sister and it was all worth the effort - I hate to say it but I didn't have my charge with me did I so restful on that front!) The hardest part for Yorkshire is the journey for us both, I'm looking into us flying from Southend to Leeds, if Docs say he is fit for a short flight, as I've never driven to Yorkshire since I became ill - don't trust I'll stay awake all that way, neither does my husband he'd have another coronary!

So hey-ho what will be will be and I'll bear in mind the not too old and doddery.

So good luck with you and yours and keep us updated - even though it makes me dream...

in reply toTelian

Ohhhhh Tellan, I am so very sorry... I should not have asked, as I did not want to make you sad! It sounds like you have some amazing memories with your lovely family and a lot of equally beautiful memories planned for the future as well!!! This is good as it gives you something to look forward to. My youngest daughter got married in August last year and my oldest daughter and grandsons came over from the states... between the excitement of the wedding and having them around we had the best time!!!!! I had planned and organised that event for over a year and when it was over and everyone went back home, it left me feeling empty and flat... I was diagnosed with GCA & PMR 6 weeks later. : ( Hang in there and try to enjoy the here and now. It's all we have really. xxx

Telian profile image
Telian in reply to

I don't mind you asking at all in fact it highlights how much we just keep going and going and it's not healthy to harbour feelings too much so it's all good - no worries honestly. it's interesting to hear you got your AI when you did, do you think the stress of being apart from family contributed? I know some can do it better than others but my kids????? I am the worst. The straw for me was I had a stressful last 6 months at work before I retired then I immediately got GCA - is there something in that? My friend said 'it's that f*****g --------- (that's the managers name hidden!).

I'd looked after my OH for nearly 15 years by then but the difference is I was in control of that... remember our earlier conversation about being too independent...makes you wonder. I have now registered with the local carers hub and it's there should I need it, so I am learning! Many thanks for chatting, I've thoroughly enjoyed it - sharing - it makes the world go round xxx Terri

PS: Don't be kicking that bucket too soon will you?

in reply toTelian

It was a combination of things for me... I had to go to the USA in March as my brother was showing signs of dementia. I thought I'd go and help him get sorted... I had planned on staying 2 weeks; I was there almost 10 weeks and in the end, I planed and hosted his funeral and then cleaned out his flat.. He had just given up and decided it was time to check out. : ( I came back to England to a thousand undone wedding tasks and spent the next 4 moths going crazy trying to get everything done in time. No time to grieve. Then company, the wedding, the let done after the event, back to work... and of course it was Fall (November) and I suffer from SADD... so it was all of that combined.

Telian profile image
Telian in reply to

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your loss, you have had a lot of stress, lots of planning and sounds like you had it all to do.....I understand the emptiness you felt following. We're moving out of the long winter and hopefully your SADD will go into hibernation too. Your grieving still has to come, I think it's important! but you are still doing good from what I hear, you have made that journey to York! which I would just love to do - jump in the car with OH and go....I get the impression you thrive on pressure too, so once you've recharged your batteries the house move is the next biggie with sprinkles of A&M to sweeten the journey! good luck!

Telian profile image
Telian in reply toTelian

Forgot to say love the photos you keep coming up with, I used to watch I love Lucy!

Telian profile image
Telian in reply toTelian

stop talking to yourself!

Soraya_PMR profile image
Soraya_PMR in reply toTelian

Don’t mind me, just a bystander ear-wigging your conversation. Please don’t stop on my account, I was rather enjoying it. I was agreeing inwardly re the end of winter. Third sunny day in a row here.....

Telian profile image
Telian in reply toSoraya_PMR

The winter blues mmm suppose I'm lucky I don't suffer like Mamici . Where are you? we get lots of sunshine here in Southend and had beautiful weather this week albeit windy, wore a short jacket yesterday in the 15s now back to the lambing gown, might be me I blow hot n cold constantly but at least it's dry, nice to chat

Soraya_PMR profile image
Soraya_PMR in reply toTelian

Not far from you as the crow flies....Broadstairs.

Telian profile image
Telian in reply toSoraya_PMR

Not far at all, pity we have to go all that way round to get to your neck of the woods, Just come back in and temp reached 21 on the car I'm roasted...

in reply toTelian

Thank you. Yes, needless to say 2017 was filled with ups and downs... I neglected to mention Max was born on January 30, by C section, so that was amazing, but stressful too! And you are right, l have yet to grieve my brother's unexpected death, as I went from death to wedding to grieving the the end of my good health! And yes, I thrived on pressure for 34 year, excel in it really, so when I have to be calm and quiet I get antsy. : ()

Telian profile image
Telian in reply to

It never ended for you did it, they say it comes in threes and you had them all - a bitter sweet mixture I'd say and your'e about to add the forth moving house - all stressful except for Max - once the drama of his birth was over and you were cuddling him........oh and the wedding once the day came....you did well..

My Son no 2 was born on the 29th Jan, expected on christmas day - went into labour christmas eve but as they say lazy boys came when he was ready - many years ago now...

Telian profile image
Telian in reply to

I'm really brain fogged aren't I my son was born in December!!! bet you thought longest labour in history I read it as Max being born the day after my son's birthday - think I need to lie down...

Soraya_PMR profile image
Soraya_PMR in reply toTelian

Was just thinking ‘long pregnancy’! 😹

Telian profile image
Telian in reply toSoraya_PMR

Trouble is at the time it just doesn't register and then like a light bulb coming on you know what you've done/said wrong - it's embarassing - these steroids have a lot to answer for......hope I never have to pick out anyone in an identity parade or the poor buggers will all be locked up for ever if I get my 'absolutely no doubt' head on...it's not funny and scary....

Soraya_PMR profile image
Soraya_PMR in reply toTelian

I was out walking the dog this afternoon, in my own little world. Someone said hallo, I knew I knew him, I had to run through my brain, in what connection do I know this person? what is his name? Who the hell are those 2 people with him?

It was a neighbour. The others were relatives of his unknown to me. I remembered his name :)

It’s very unnerving.

Telian profile image
Telian in reply toSoraya_PMR

Absolutely it is, I often think what my facial expression must be like during the 'blank' moment. i'm just pleased I keep 'coming back' afterwards. My husband worries to death, each time I go out he always says if you feel unwell come home straight away won't you? I reassure him!!

Slowdown profile image
Slowdown

There's nothing like sharing marvellous time with family for making us forget our PMR bodies - the 'cuddle hormone' oxytocin takes us to a very happy place where we feel we can do anything - ho-hum we pay later, but it is definitely worth it.

As Jane says, 'life cannot be all pills and sofa' , love it :-)

in reply toSlowdown

True, true, true... Those cuddles were definitely more valuable than all the Pred in the world! And rolling on the floor, with him and hearing him laugh.... priceless!

Jo1947 profile image
Jo1947

Yes love, it was worth it, you’ve given your daughter and grandson some lovely memories, as women we always seem to have a price to pay to give pleasures to others. We do this without thinking and that’s what makes us different to men. Just keep thinking of your lovely break, chin up girl.

Nap1 profile image
Nap1

Scheffield Jane walking 2 miles is not chicken feed it’s quite good. I would consider myself blessed if I could walk 2 miles. And was it worth it to be with your family in my case absolutely it would be Worth it. My kids keep me going and I see them very infrequently. The mental uplifting means a lot. Rest your body.

Jackoh profile image
Jackoh

Yes definitely worth it Melissa!! It's just so frustrating though isn't it when you just want to be normal( although I hesitate to say that - never really been normal!)

Just have to make sure you don't do it too often and now rest up. You need to make memories especially when grandchildren young!!

Perhaps don't combine house hunting with meeting up and socialising- one thing at a time? All the very best with finding s new home. That again will need pacing. It's a slower process but we'll get there in the end!! Did you take any photos? Perhaps you can keep looking at those to remember the wonderful time you had !! Xx

May10 profile image
May10

i am still suffering from being in Paris, Came back 10th March. Have upped my pred with no difference to how I feel. No pain just awful spaced out feeling, exhaustion, breathlessness and numb and tingly hands. I feel as if someone i sitting on me and I cannot get going .My daughter is on holiday here in York, from Australia so i know I am trying to do more than usual.

Some months ago I had a week of feeling "normal" I thought i had turned a corner.. No fear!!!!

in reply toMay10

Oh my goodness! Yes! I told my husband today I feel high, spaced out.... I feel like I'm in an alternate reality!!! Or in a dream where I am just going through the motions. Yes, yes, yes, I can't believe you wrote this line, " No pain just awful spaced out feeling, exhaustion, breathlessness and numb and tingly hands." And I feel it in my feet! I had that "normal" feeling, I too had turned a corner! WTF?

May10 profile image
May10 in reply to

it is no joke. i suppose we will feel well sometime!!!!!!!!!

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom

After two years of pmr I finally questioned how long do I want to put my life on hold? As we know we could possibly be sick for years. So i just traveled across the states to see two of my children I hadn't seen in eight months. The baby (22 years old) and I held each other and wept the last night I was there as it will possibly be months before we see each other again and we enjoy being together. It was worth any price I had to pay I decided but surprisingly even after sleeping all night in an airport I feel ok. Who knew? It's like a miracle to me. Poke the gorilla sometimes and live your life. 😘

in reply tobunnymom

Thank you.... I agree!

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