PMRGCAuk
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Was it the row?

Was it the row?

It was 8 days ago and as far as "rows" go, it was EPIC! For some very good reasons (none of which I can recall at the moment) I went completely and totally, “nuclear-ballistic." I was screaming, crying, yelling and out of my mind in an uncontrollable rage.

After demanding that I be taken home; I spent the next 18 hours in bed, either sleeping, thinking or plotting my diabolical revenge. However, with the new day came sunshine, unicorns and reconciliation.

All’s well that ends well, right?

Except it didn’t end well!

This whole past week I have felt like CRAP!

Last week’s bout has had me "down for the count," with the following complaints; extreme fatigue, on/off headaches, jaw joint pain, achy shoulders, hand cramps, heavy arms and legs, increased tinnitus, breathlessness, pain in my right hip, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, brain fog, dry cough, couch potato syndrome, lethargy, nondescript flu like feeling and general feelings of depression and malaise.

Is this a dreaded F_L_A_R_E_? Or is it just a fluke?

Is it possible that an intense, emotional upset can really provoke an indisputable, full fledged flare? Or, was the flare preordained and “it” caused physiological changes in me, that made me lose my mind and go into an emotional, nuclear meltdown? Maybe it’s all just a coincidence? ...but I don’t believe in coincidence, so it can't be that.

In any case, WHAT DO I DO???

Do I… wait it out, increase my meds, go back in time and change the past, hope it all just goes away, seek professional help?

Any help or advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated…

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What an absolutely diabolical week you have had you poor thing. Sounds like you have suffered horrendously. I am very new to this group but everything has been saying that stress is a major trigger and the row sounded very very stressful. I truly hope you are over the worse and start to feel a bit better soon. Feel so bad for you!

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Thank you... not a great week, no! ...but this too shall pass, I hope!

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Mamici1. I swear its me. Even the dry cough. It ended up for me taking another 5 mg. And we meaning Endo, rheumatoid and me agree it was adrenals. Two weeks now and it is much better. Except for the headache. But I get that from the prednisone. Feel better please. It will pass.

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Hmmmm? Thanks Nap1, at least I know I'm not going crazy... Sorry you're struggling, but happy to hear it's getting better. I think I am better too... not much, but off the couch at least!

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What is the row?

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Ahhhhh, yes as an American expat that one took me awhile... It's a fight/argument. When spoken it rhymes with "cow."

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My dictionary says: noun - a noisy squabble; a brawl; a din, hubbub; a chiding. verb - to make a disturbance!

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Yes, squabble. I like that one.

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Got it

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Such a flip-out would require a fair bit of cortisol and fight and flight response. Which your adrenals probably aren't up to. Plus emotional stress can impact the immune system and could cause a flare in symptoms even if it isn't a real flare due to the immune system ramping up its activity. And judging by your last post - you are under a vast amount of emotional stress in general.

What you do is your choice and you recognise what they are. Have you tried taking a bit more pred and seeing how it makes you feel?

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Thank you. Yes... a rough week all around. Learning of my friend's terminal illness on July 12th, (he passed away on July 20th) and then the row on 14th, made for a really shitty week, indeed. I reluctantly, increased my Pred by 5 mg this morning... we shall see.

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Oh Melissa! I agree with what's already been said especially PMRpro and whether it's a real flare or not. Looking at the date you got the news of your friend was a Thursday and if your OH was at work that day and the next - meaning you were on your own with frustration building up all the time as you couldn't go and see your friend to say goodbye..... I'm presuming your OH was at home on 'blow out' day when the volcano erupted, poor man - try to make amends and you will feel better for that alone, remember the saying a problem shared....even though he knew you were upset he wouldn't know exactly how you felt unless you told him.....he's not a mind reader is he? Whatever/whoever was to blame you have to put it behind you now and move forward - positive thoughts and all that....

I'm different to you I go quiet and let people around me know that I'm not good company, and to leave me alone for awhile. Remember our favourite saying 'it's not me it's the pred!' I didn't always do that but I've been ill longer than you and find it does work - we're like a dog with a bone otherwise and emotional stress is not easily overcome. See your GP if it continues but I am not convinced additional pred is the answer, see how you go you've taken it now. I hope you start to feel better soon, plenty of rest I would say - and a cuddle with OH! xxx

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Thank you Telian. Yup... it was the perfect storm. The anniversary of my Mom's death was on the 11th, I heard my friend was terminal on the 12th, we had the row on the 14th and my friend died on the 20th. Not a good week, as week's go. I was alone when I found out my friend was terminal and spent the whole day walking down Memory Lane... The "blow out" happened on a Saturday, while we were stuck in a car! He was staking me to a lovely Art/Craft show in Shoreham.... : ( Yup, we were both to blame.... we have both apologised. It's okay now...

"It's not me, it's the Pred." "It's not me, it's the Pred." "It's not me, it's the Pred."

My mantra.

xxx

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That's good you've made up, it is hard and will happen again but recognising the symptoms and talking to one another is key for me/us to getting through.

You've had a lot of tragedy to contend with in your life, more than most, so don't beat yourself up too much, it's not unusual to react even those that are not ill do, you're doing good and will get even better - mantra or not...

Don't suppose you enjoyed the Craft Fair? My nephew lives in Shoreham and his partner studied interior design at Uni, she was probably there - she loves all of that.

xxx

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Thank you. You are right. We never made it to the Art/Craft Show... Row started on the A27... by the time we got into town and I saw the first stall, I was in a rage and screaming about being taken home... : ( So stupid.

I looked really cute that day too... if I do say so myself! Hahahahahahahaha. Ahhh, well, I guess I saved a lot of £££.

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What a shame..can just picture you're tantrum and looking so cute, like a naughty little girl!! At least you realised it and are not in denial of it all - that's a big step forward!

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Oh "NO," no denial whatsoever! Although, if he had just "listened" to me.... Hahahaha!

; )

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Now that's a big ask!

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*laughing* Yes it was!!!!!

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My husband says he's listening, I say 'but you're not hearing!'

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YES! OMG I say the same exact thing!!!!!!

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We must be right then!

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I agree wholeheartedly!!!!!!!

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Goes in one ear and out the other! Without stopping ...

Assuming there is anything there to stop it I suppose.

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Hahahahahahahaha!

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I also say they're only as stupid as they want to be!

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Yes to that!!!! Clever like foxes sometimes... other times, not so much!

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I used to say to my husband "Well you are giving NO indication that you are listening at all .You need to have a light on top of your head to show me a sign that words have actually left my mouth".

Sorry to butt into your conversation .

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But it would have to be plugged in. And switched on...

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That's very true.Ha!

(I am choosing divorce however ,been waiting 29 years!)So happy!....Sorry for over sharing but it's where I am now :PMR,trapped nerves, probably will have to move, financial suicide ....but still going to be worth it.

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A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Best of luck.

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Thank you.....Will be down in Brighton visiting my daughter soon.We might pass in the street!

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Coooool! When??? How long are you here for?

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Oh, that's so lovely that you are pleased.I haven't quite set the dates yet but it might be around the 14 th of August.I'd love to meet you.

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Cool! Yes... I'd love to meet for a coffee/tea. Let me know when your plans are made. : )

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You're not butting in at all, we like that on here. There's another phrase we had, 'the lights maybe on but there's no one home!' :) :)

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Oh what an awful lot to cope with. That would be difficult even without PMR or Pred. When I was on a higher dose, around 17 mgs or so, I had the most awful, loud and public rant at my daughter for something very trivial. I have never spoken to her or anyone else in such a manner before, so it was completely out of character. Eventually, I realised how dreadful I had been and apologised. Thankfully, she suspected the steroids and didn’t react. We now laugh at my “roid rage”. But it scared me at the time. It hasn’t been so bad now that I’m at a lower dose.

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Love the term 'Roid Rage'! I am a summing it is NOT a typo but short for Steroid Rage. Brilliant. I shall share this with the family just in case.......

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No not a typo - roid rage is what my daughter called it! 😁

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Hahahaha, love it “Roid Rage!"

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Prednisone does play havoc on emotions and mind. I think I've told this story before, the wife of my husband's oldest friend (they went to preschool together) had GCA. She was prescribed 100mgs initially.We were at a baptism of one of my gkids and I noticed her staring at me with a very dirty look. I felt really uncomfortable and was afraid to be near her the whole time. I later found out that she had steroid - induced psychosis and thought I was having an affaire with her husband (among other outrageous stuff).!!

Everytime I have a "row" (love that word the Brits use for "fight") I feel my symptoms return. So the trick is to think it over before responding which is much easier said then done - I lose it at least once a day with my OH no matter how many y times I remind myself that I am not myself and that OH can't help acting like a 6 year old.

You seem a lot more sensible than me though, so maybe you are having a flare.

Hope you feel better soon.

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Thank you! Oh my goodness! Steroid induced psychosis, how scary!!!

Hmmm, so you too feel symptoms return when there is an emotional upset? Interesting!

And, not sure I'm more sensible than anyone!!! Not a word I have heard people use to describe me, I'm afraid! : )

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Maybe I used the wrong word, "sensible" does bring images of someone quite the opposite as you seem, to come to think of it.. Hahaha.. English isn't my native language.. More mature? Smarter?

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HA! Mature? Smarter? Hmmmm? Nooooo, I am more of an impulsive, hot blooded, Sicilian, Irish, American... However, my reaction to whatever the hell it was last week was not a "normal," typical response ... even for me!!!!

Thank you for seeing me as "sensible, mature and smarter though!" : )

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Sorry to hear you've had a rough week Melissa 😣Emotional stress can certainly have a influence on your illness,I've been there.Hope you get some advice about pred from the aunties .Have a chilled Sunday and watch Poldark later😂😍x

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Thank you. Oooooo, I love Poldark... haven't watched in ages. Need to find new seasons! Thanks for reminder.

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The new Poldark won't start here till winter. What a great looking man!

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He is!!!!

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Yes he is!

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Oh Melissa, what a tale of woe. I hope things may ease during the next week, but could it be flu, rather than fluke?

I only have PMR, so don't know how GCA & PMR would respond to the row. Those physical symptoms do sound like a flare and may well improve with time or an increase in pred. However, the pred can cause us to become 'emotionally labile'. lol! So Catch 22.

Rest assured you're not the only one to 'lose the plot' on this PMR / GCA journey. A while ago, my OH described me as "nasty and cantankerous" - I was devastated, as I didn't recognise that person as me! I'm trying hard these days - very trying!

Do see your doctor if you don't feel better soon. x

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Indeed, “What woe is lacking to my tale of woes?” ~ Sophocles, Antigone

Wow, "... nasty and cantankerous," huh? Hmmmm, I can't imagine! Don't think it's really the flu... I feel well enough and no fever. Yes, I up'd my Pred by 5 mg this morning, we shall see what happens next.

Thank you!

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My boss told me I was becoming rude on one particular day . I just feel that I no longer have the emotional energy to just to "Smile and wave " when people are just being petty for the sake of it.I am trying to raise above it all though.

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You poor soul, too much for anyone to have go through let alone having the PMR/GCA as well.

I agree with the others, stress can bring on a flare and this row may have triggered it.

I don't know what dosage of pred you are taking but maybe for a few days take a few mgs extra and see if you feel better.

You must try and have a totally chill out day.

Take care, sorry you are feeling so awful.

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Awe thanks... I'm on 30 mg but have increased today to 35. I am chillin! : )

Thank you!

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That's the spirit, keep chillin!!

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Himself said last week and I quote “ you keep snarling at me “ as if ! Just read about your awful week ,pretty sure it will effect poly .

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Hahahahahahaha. Too funny.

My OH looked truly "terrified!" The look on his face scared me!!!!

Thank you

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Oh boy, my husband and yours are obviously suffering the same problem. I’ve bitten his head off so many times. He agrees, can really identify with that remark but thinks he’s very brave to even say it. Was he standing at the other side of the room!

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He had one hand on the kitchen door then vanished into the garden or garage can’t remember. It’s ok he has a chair in both garage and shed .

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Wise man!

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evry him shd have a shed! LOL.... u take the house XOX

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Hahahahaha!

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My OH says, you`re so sharp it`s a wonder you don`t cut yourself!....then goes in the garage to count nails...I presume!.....

I beginning to wonder if there ought to be a PMR OH club!

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He has a chair, beer fridge , and all the old papers plus many nails and pipe bends ect ect .They could all meet round here .

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Love it!

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Ooooooo, I like that... "you're so sharp, its a wonder you don't cut yourself! Hahahaha

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My husband calls it edgy..

But he doesn't mean it in a flattering way.

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That`s polite!.....when he told me about being sharp I couldn`t resist saying, right answer, you`re learning, you`ll soon be as sharp as me.....I`m sure I don`t know where it comes from!.....well I do really but It`s a long story!.....

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Oh yes....they love the smart-ass come backs too!!!!!!

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I can give as good as I get, usually calmly, but if not feeling good....well, you can guess.....and this heat, say no more with sweats!!

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Partners of people with PMR/GCA need support too. Love this idea! We all recognize the ripple effect of having these conditions, myself I find I experience more mood swings (happy to sad or vice versa) rather than irritability, and we decided early on that we should take some time and space when these side effects emerged. He is very sensitive to begin with, so I really do try to avoid confrontation when I'm feeling off. He usually retreats to the garage, I usually go to the formal living room (or visit my daughters in a neighbouring city), when my mindset changes for the worse.

I have read the term "OH" on this site many times, and am assuming it has to do with someone's partner or loved one. What does it stand for?

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Other Half..☺

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Thank you GrannyDi

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What a week. Certainly sounds like a Flare of GCA you should see GP asap don’t try to sit it out. Hope it improves.

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Thank you. I up'd my meds by 5 mg this morning... so far no change. : (

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Ugh. Hope you feel better soon. And HOPE someone has some good advice. !!!

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Thank you.

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Stress of any sort upsets this blooming disease. I have an incredible short temper and the hot weather doesn’t help. I hear myself being snappy, intolerant, inpatient. Well, let’s face it down right horrible and I can’t stop the words coming out of my mouth. The deadly fatigue is much worse, possible weather induced but this past week has been stressful. Lots of things in the diary, dentist, car service and the like. All I could do without but all need to be done. Husband and his mobility not improving despite hours of exercises. Culminating in a phone call from my brother to tell me he is ill, been in hospital and very likely to need surgery, also his sons wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. So yes stress however it’s induced is a b****r!

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Oh my goodness Jean56, You are in the thick of it too!!!!! I am so sorry! Please try to relax and be calm... It looks like you're in for a long haul too.

Thank you.

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Bless you, it all comes at once. I just wish the weather would cool down......

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So sorry to hear of your horrible news week as well as poor Melissa's!!! You must have been knocked for 6!!!

The bad news is it's going to be even hotter this week!!! Consistently 90 all week!!!!! Shoot me now😫

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Thank you, yes it’s not great. As for the weather, what can one say that’s printable. We’re on the south coast, a slight breeze but not enough. Definitely melting and my temper is very short........

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Same here!! I am on the borders of Kent in London and it is soooooo ridiculously hot I can't even think anymore!!!

Hope your family's health improves this week.

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As the bird flies we are due south to you, Kent/Sussex Border. It’s official, I’ve melted and himself wants supper....... The only consolation of very hot weather is a large ice filled glass of gin & tonic.

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No advice, just an acknowledgment of your difficult week and a virtual hug. As I sit here in my living room, feeling unwell and covered up with a comfy blanket, staring out the window watching a groundhog chew the grass.

I hope the increase in pred helps and you start to feel better.

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Awe thank you... and I hope the groundhogs cheer you up (although chewing on the grass isn't a good thing, is it?) and you start to feel better soon as well!!!! : (

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You're sick and tied of being sick and tired. Can't imagine why!

Listen, Mel, even the best people sometimes have a meltdown over what seems to be nothing. It's the accumulation of frustrations, disappointments, fears and anger that's burst out of its pen and made itself known to all and sundry. Not even you realized it was sitting there waiting for an opening to come out and show itself. The pot was sitting on the boil for quite a while given all you've been enduring, I'm actually surprised it didn't happen before now.

Whether is was flare induced, or flare inducing, is immaterial. Take the 5 mg for a few days until you start feeling fewer aches and pains. Make whatever amends you can to those who were splashed with the boiling water, and then let it go. The longer you fret over it, the longer you'll be uncomfortable in your skin.

Gentle the monster. You'll be OK, and so will everyone else.

PS: I am so sorry about the loss of your friend.

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I do believe you are 100% right... "...the pot was sitting on the boil for quite a while!"

And I so love the best advise ever... "Make whatever amends you can to those who were splashed with the boiling water, and then let it go."

Thank you.

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What a tough week for you Melissa it seems relentless! But why do you not believe in coincidences? They do happen really! ATB

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Thanks, Pepperdoggie. I believe everything happens in relation to something else... we may not know (at the time) what that "something else" is; but it's not just two unrelated, isolated things happening at the same time.... i.e. 1.) my meltdown and 2.) my "flare" are connected... I am just not sure why or how. But as Good_Grief said, it really doesn't matter. The pot has boiled over and now I have had a set back.... this too shall pass.

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Dear Melissa

I just hope you are feeling lots better and I agree with all these supportive comments and especially Good Grief's - it will all be 'OK' - and the bit of extra Pred might help as well. So sorry to hear about your friend - so much for you to deal with ...

Love and hugs

Rimmy

XX

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It will indeed Rimmy, it will indeed. ...and thank you.

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Oh mamici I have been there and Grunge bears the scars, although he will not learn to not shout back and yes the upset and physical sickness lasts for days. You have a lot of static Cortisol in your body, it can’t rise and fall like the natural stuff, I think it just churns. These outbreaks are really rare, normally, with me, it’s just hostile thinking and wanting to be alone. Forgive,forgive, forgive, and do something nice for yourself and maybe even your sparring partner. Forget about it if you can, onward and upward with a slight limp at first. 😘

Don’t up your dose unless a lot of physicals join the party and it’s going on for a ridiculous amount of days.

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JANE! We miss you! Thank you for checking in... The row is in the past and we are past it (although, I'm sorry he des not listen!!!!) and I have moved on, possibly... maybe... : )

I am left dealing with the physical and emotional symptoms and I have reluctantly (as of this morning) up'd my meds, back to 35mg, it had been 8 days and I was over feeling crap... We shall see. xxxxx

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Hostile thinking and wanting to be alone... oh yes!!!! Beautifully said. Now if only I could learn to forgive.

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I spend lots of quiet times alone, the only way when I feel so ill....my summerhouse is my salvation, and looking out to a lovely garden....that I can`t do...but thankfully OH does...

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Sorry to hear you had a rough week. To lose a close friend is very traumatic- so if you feel a few more Pred would help, then don’t play the martyr- go for it. As the say goes “a man needs to do what a man needs to do” and woman for that matter.

When you’re feeling like you do it’s natural to lash out at your nearest and dearest - that’s just because they’re there, not who they are! I remember being snappy with hubby the day before he died - something I’ll always regret - but that’s life!

My week’s not been too brilliant - Op on Monday, home on Thursday - still bit painful, but on the mend.

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Pleased to hear you are 'on the mend' DL .

Take it easy

Rimmy

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Ohhhh DL, I am so happy to hear from you!!!!! Glad to hear you are home and "...on the mend," even though I am sure you had a much tougher week than me!!!!! I guess the pain will subside as the days go on, hopefully!

Yup, it was a glitch in the matrix... cant take it back, must move forward. : )

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Yep, that the attitude!

Take care.

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Oh what a c..p week you've had! I think all the good advice has been given. Just wanted to wish you well and send love and hugs 😘

Let us know how things are going with the slight increase. X

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Thank you .... will do.

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I’ve noticed that since I’ve been taking Pred sweet little Susie ( read that as she who never existed), who seldom ever told it like it is to folks (read that as grumpy), but, listened passively to all they had to say (for that read complain) has turned into she who tells it like it is rather a lot, swears a lot, and generally doesn’t tolerate fools gladly! Husband has vaguely acknowledged this, from a great distance...

So a high extended dose of Pred, add to this a bit of stress (the death of a friend is major stress btw) and anything else that is probably mundane but doesn’t feel it at the time gives the perfect recipe for a major emotional blow out. Give yourself a break and try not to stress about it, you are ill, tomorrow is another day and better times will come. Apologise if you need to, I’m sure those who know you know it wasn’t the real you, and no unkindness was meant.

I can only speak for rare past experience, but A bout of uncontrollable rage (whatever the cause)will effect every bit of your, already poorly, body. It will cause all the symptoms you have had , and others that you never dreamed of. You need to rest the body, let your mind rest also, for a couple of days. If increasing the Pred and resting have no effect, see the doc. You know your body best. Let us know how you go. X

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Ahhhh Peace_Lover, Good for you... I have never had trouble "telling it like it is," but I am usually more controlled, rational, and articulate... I'm not usually the wild banshee, losing her mind! Yup, trying not to stress about the fact I've up'd my meds... And yes, all the rest, has (at least for now) melted into my subconsciousness. Thank you.

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Sorry your last week or so has been so rough, and so sorry for the loss of your friend, a death always traumatic to deal with - even worse when coping with illness. :( Am sure you will be forgiven by those you lost it with! Don’t worry about going back up - it is what it is, if you need to then you do! Hope the extra kicks in soon and give you some relief ASAP! Take care of you. 💕 xx

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Thank you... thanks so much. 💕 xx back at ya!!!!

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Hang on in there. Hope the increased pred helps. My daughter and I had a tiny spat today which I put down to the heat (not complaining but really am wilting now!). It's doubly hard being hot and bothered AND on pred. X

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Ohhh, sorry to hear that... daughters and mothers huh???? I hope you stay cool today!

Thanks.

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Hi Melisa

Only just catching up on the posts now l’m in bed, we have youngest son & his lovely wife here from France for a few days.

I’m just so sorry to hear what’s been happening to you, you’ve been on a pretty high dose of Pred which has obviously impacted on you in ways you can’t imagine, the news & subsequent loss of your friend is traumatic enough in itself but add them all together & you say there’s been a simmering pot for a while, it was eventually going to boil over.

The impact of losing your friend which you wrote so eloquently about has had a deep effect on you, putting your dose up & running it past your GP seems eminently sensible.

You need to take some time out now this week to rest, regroup & let the extra Pred do its work.

Hope you feel better soon 💐

You need a bit of ‘Me’ time & you know we’re all here to support you.

Take Care & Feel Better Soon 🌺

Angela xx

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Thank you. I love the simmering pot, boiling over analogy... Good_Grief used it as well. It works well! Enjoy your family! xxx

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I am so sorry you had an awful week.

You have a friend dying, a serious illness, and are taking prednisone(can cause nervousness). That is a lot of stress. I am sure you have other stressors, too. Be gentle with yourself. Apologize if you need to and move on.

I dealt with a lot of stress previously, as a full time teacher and mother. Now my body cannot handle stress at all. When my teenager gets in a tiff with me, as teenagers do,I am down on the couch for 3-5 days.

Apologize if you need to and rest. Do things that feed your soul. As humans we can be so hard on ourselves. Stress is so hard to deal with with this disease. I do not know about going up on your meds, ask your doctor. Prednisone itself can make you more anxious. I just sit on the couch and after 3-5 days, I finally will bounce back. Pull your support system around you. I am sending you a “hug”. Know I empathize and hope you can find a measure of peace.I will be thinking of you.

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Thank you. Thanks so much... My friend actually passed as on the 20th of July, so it wasn't long at all; I heard he was terminal on July 12th... and he was gone 8 days later. I am definitely taking it easy... I don't have much of a choice. : )

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I am so sorry to hear that. Sometimes a good rant is cleansing. Here is to better days for you.

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Mamici1,

Is that a picture of Rocky Marciano? Where do you get these great pictures...I am always amazed at your creativeness.

Enan

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Ohhhh, thank you enan-illuc! That is indeed the great "Rocky Marciano" and Archie Moore. I remember my Dad talking about him as the greatest fighter ever to have lived; and he was born in Brockton Massachusetts, we were rom nearby Worcester!

Wikipedia says, "Marciano ended his career as the only heavyweight champion with a perfect record–49 wins in 49 professional bouts, with 43 knockouts."

Thank you for "creative" compliment! When I read what I've written, imagines of what I think I want (as far as photo) pop in my head and then I search Google Images until something strikes me.

Cheers

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Sorry to hear about your friend, it's poos and wees when that happens. I too have had to go back up. Due to doing too much, having time to think inbetween as I haven't got enough energy to do much and the wonderful psychotic world of pred, I flipped my lid well and truly and paid for putting any remaining resources into said flip. I'm a door slammer too so need to replace some picture frames that go ever so teenily bumped off the wall to put the icing on the cake 🎂. The complete cherry on the top was trying to clean up glass when everything ached 🍒. I'd like to say at least I'm consistent, my family laugh when they hear I've broken another lock or picture frame, my first door slam was when I was a toddler, mind you with sore hips I'm still that toddler so maybe nothing has changed. Will we ever learn? Doubt it so I'd better go and get some spare frames too. Hope you are being kind to yourself, give yourself marks for artistic interpretation of your melt down and celebrate the power of a good rant. Only those who wake up each morning can do it. Sending hugs, commiserations and celebrations on being a powerful woman xx

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Angiejnz, you do have me laughing... Fabulous!!!! I too am a "door slammer!" Unfortunately I was held captive in a car and here was no door to slam! Years ago, when I was young, hotheaded and impetuous, *ahem* I threw an empty wine glass across the house and into the front door! It exploded! ....I was cleaning that up for months!

I am happy I was able to "express" the meltdown, as I feel it helped. And you!!!! No more door slamming ... until the next time! : )

PS I can see the Angels shaking their heads.....

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Blimey we must be twins, I've done the wine glass throw (just once) but hadn't emptied it first so had a glorious time cleaning up. Stupid waste of wine!!!

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Hahahahahahaha. I did it ONLY once also! Huge mistake, mammoth!

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Morning to you Melissa - sounds like the last week or so have been demanding in every possible way and that your nuclear explosion was inevitable.

You must be feeling drained, exhausted, upside down and back to front! I hope the increase in Pred will help settle all your "blip" symptoms. However, we don't want you too calm and passive...so go carefully!!

Kathy xxx

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Thanks Pip! Hehehehehe.... No we definitely, don't want me "too calm and passive!"

I can't imagine who that woman would be anyway? Calm and passive????? Hmmmm?

Foreign.

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Oh yes - totally - an upset like that can totally bring on these symptoms. I think we don't have enough reserves for our system to handle it. I really hope you feel better soon - I know what its like - and scary to think evrything can be sent into such a state so quick. Very best wishes.

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Thank you Powerwalk! Yes, I think it was the loss of self control and the immediate effect it had on my health that freaked me out the most... : O

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Well everyone has said what needs to be said. So sorry that you " boiled over" and this upset you so much by its ferocity and the impact it had on your health. I think many of us have had a complete melt down at sometime but just like the PMRGCA symptoms the meltdown has been specific to us and sometimes totally out of character. You've had so much to cope with Melissa and all those emotions were ready to boil over as so adequately described. Yes time to regroup, put the past behind you, knowing that you've put right what you can. You're doing well- this was just a blip. Take care and give yourself some special time. I think I'm right in saying many of us understand and on different levels have been there!! This too will pass...... xxxx

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Thank you Jackoh! Yes, this too shall pass (one of my favourite sayings!) I think I was more upset that the meltdown prompted a "flare" than the fact that I had the meltdown. It makes me happy to know many people have also experienced the "nuclear-ballistic" meltdown. At least I know I'm not alone. : ) xx

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Hope you are now getting back on track, mamici1.

A similar scenario happened with me (+OH) last Thursday. We were getting ready for a friend's funeral the next day - don't dare describe how nasty, loud and unreasonable we both were. Stress? Heat? Pred? Low blood sugar? Extremely upsetting all round. After-effects taking time to fade.

Doubt if I'd have had the nerve to mention it, if you hadn't set the ball rolling. Many thanks - quite a relief

Reading through this thread has been so helpful. Some of the explanations and advice have been illuminating. And it's really comforting and reassuring just to know that we're not alone in this.

So thankful to have access to this forum.

Onwards n upwards.

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Oh that is good BonnyQuine!!! Hopefully the post killed two birds with one stone!!!

Sounds like we had very similar stresses. Hope things are better now...

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I laugh at every single picture you post. 😊

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Good. I like that you laugh!!!!!

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on sulfa?i halved my dose to 2tabs daily and lost a lotta rage. but stress of any kind can inc pain, inflammation etc etc, Tai Chi? Mindfulness? CBT? Hugs xoxox

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Sulfa? No.... should I be? I should look into Tai Chi, Meditation, Mindfulness, Yoga, or something... I don't generally have "rage," but boy it came out that day! Thank you

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No!! just wondered as it def effects on me...irritability developed into rage rage rage at him ... really thought of divorce .... but after surviving 53 years ?!?. so now only take 50% for my RA.

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Your week sounds very much like mine and I was just sure I was having a flare (and perhaps I was, it sure felt like it) so I bumped up my pred dose and called my PCP. After lab tests and a couple of appointments it was discovered I had a raging kidney infection. A couple days of antibiotics and the higher dose of pred (which I’m already tapering back down) and I’m feeling better. I don’t feel like I can run the Kentucky derby (who ever feels like that? LOL) but I feel better. Prior to this I’d been doing fantastic on a super dead slow taper and I have every confidence I can continue with the taper. Just a speed bump along the way. Had I known I had an infection would I have jumped to raise my prednisone? Maybe not but at the same time my doctor said it wasn’t a bad decision either as I have lupus as well and there are ugly things like lupus nephritis that can be triggered by a pred taper (yet another reason for going incredibly slow). He constantly reminds his patients it’s not a race to zero.

Enough of my crap, I sincerely hope you’re feeling better soon. I always enjoy your writings, ramblings and sage wisdom. Take care! x

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Wow! Bummer.... "... a raging kidney infection." YIKES! I'm glad you caught it early, it sounds like. Thank you for your support and your kind words above.... I hope you feel better soon!!!! xx

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Thanks so much! Yep raging is the word my doc used. My white count was extremely high and he said he hasn’t a clue how I didn’t know my kidney(s). I said that’s easy, I was feeling so badly all over I could hardly stand and walk, let alone isolate a specific pain. I hope you feel better too!

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I was going to ask how you didn't know????? ...but I get it now! Thank you. I hope you are MUCH better as well!!!!!

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well, whatever it is that has caused you to feel crappy now, you have certainly earned your stripes.. it sounds like you have had a shit-storm, and that is going to leave a mess...

I avoid rows like the plague now... I have two grown up sons, one is a Corporal in the RAF, an Aeronautical Engineer, and the other builds million pound luxury houses (I am not saying this to show off, but to let you know how capable they are), since I have been poorly I have had to justify and excuse myself constantly to them, with hardly any help from them... However, every time my wonderful wife gets annoyed about them, and angry, and starts complaining about them, I just say.. I am sorry, but I don't like to think about the selfish little gits, because I get upset, and getting upset makes my PMR hurt my body... it's as though every heart ache takes physical form wherever it takes a fancy in my body... now that we have illiminated any possible upset, I may have a body that hates me, but me and the wife are getting on swimmingly...

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Thank you. It was indeed a "shit-storm," but it left no real mess... thank goodness.

We've moved on. I think it's brilliant (and admirable) that you have the mental and emotional strength to simply say "I am sorry," and not get sucked into the drama!!!! That is fabulous!!! I am impressed with the self control! I need to take a lesson here try harder to let things roll off my back... Thank you!!!!!

PS - Sorry your sons "selfish little gits," I have two girls who are self absorbed and not interested at all in my situation.

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So sorry you have been struggling this past week mamici1. Endings are tough.......so are you (although you may not feel it as of late). We all have capacity, and given your situation, medication, etc, seems like the conditions were ripe for something to give.

Try not to be too hard on yourself, be kind to yourself, and do what you need to so that you can return to some sense of calm. Glad to hear you've had some communication with your partner, it is a great start.

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Hi PMRCanada, I'm so sorry, I just realised that your other comment wasn't for me!!!! : o

Thank you for your kind words above!!!! You're right, " conditions were ripe!" Calm has been restored and we are back on track... until the next time! ; )

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Please don't row, it takes too much out of you znd us with this horrible disease. Our body hates itself; so off course our brain is in turmoil. That's logic. But when you have even more stress to deal with we can't cope. Your dear friend dying must gave also triggered off so many more memories for you within your personal life with your family. Time now to look after you my dear lady. Come on, you can do it . Xx

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Thank you. It does take a lot out of us... : (

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Big hug.......and take care .....so much to relate to.See all your replies ,......you have helped a lot of us. Thank you.

(As if the physical rubbish was n't enough to cope with , the emotions just have to join in!!!!)

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