The Lighter Side: ‘Janet and John’ - PMR and the ... - PMRGCAuk

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The Lighter Side: ‘Janet and John’ - PMR and the New Rheumatologist.. ;-)

markbenjamin57 profile image
49 Replies

Janet and John were enjoying their secure, suburban retirement dream. Retired from their respective careers in Accounts Administration and Sales Management, their 2 children had long since grown up with 4 grand-children following eagerly in their family’s professional and social footsteps.

So, now it was time for Janet and John to enjoy the Good Life at last - with the usual trappings of a nearly-new Mercedes in the driveway, ample supplies of Vintage Claret and Gin in stock, VIP membership at the local Golf Club and a large house and garden to maintain and enjoy. Well, for John in the most part. For Janet, mainly the garden - but most of all her newly found circle of friends via the magic of the social media.

John hadn’t been his normal, charming (if lugubrious) self for a while - even more since his increasing ‘I’m awfully tired, darling’ remarks, and complaining about not being able to lift his arms to even properly do-up his normally immaculate silk neck tie - a legacy from his salesman days - not to mention playing a round of golf. Janet had always complained about John not lifting a finger around the house, but this was now taking things a bit too far.

After a referral from their confused and ambivalent (nearly-retired also) GP, John finally had his appointment with the ‘new’ Rheumatologist at the local hospital. He came home looking happier than she had seen him for a long time.

Janet, (excitedly but sardonically): “So, how did you get on - old age creeping up on you at last?!” Janet was well known for her reliable sense of déjà vu, not to mention her subtle wit and gentle diplomacy.

John: “Actually, darling, there’s more to it than that. I’ve got Polymyalgia Rheumatica. It’s a serious immune-system illness where the body attacks itself, or something like that. It’s complicated, apparently it’s usually a women’s thing, and quite rare in men”.

Janet: “Trust YOU to get something exotic with a fancy name - as usual! How did you get it? Who was the Rheumatologist? Another graduate straight from medical school I suppose? What does HE know?”

John shifted uneasily, if slightly excitedly, in his favourite armchair. “Actually, darling, the Rheumatologist was a SHE. Samantha, er, ‘Doctor French’ was very nice. She was interested in me as a person, and really helpful. She’s quite young but she knows her stuff and put her finger on it immediately. She gave me a good going-over, diagnosed something called ‘PMR’ and gave me this prescription for steroid tablets to treat it. She says I’ll soon feel like a new man - I’ll be able to get a firm grip on my morning stiffness and probably even feel quite euphoric!”.

Janet: (unable to contain her combined incredulity and suspicion): “She.. Samantha.. a young woman Rheumatologist?! I hope you didn’t play the Sympathy Card and try to chat her up like you did with the new postal delivery lady? ‘Good going-over’? What did THAT involve?” John had previous form for encouraging this kind of thing with younger women…

:-/

John: (with a mischievous smirk): “Oh, nothing really, darling. Samantha, er, Doctor French just told me to lie down on the couch and lift my arms. Then, she held my hands and pushed them towards her. And then, the same with my thighs. She’s quite petite but very, er, capable - I found it hard to resist her bedside manner. She has an amazing diagnostic technique”. John’s ensuing, deliberate silence left Janet’s imagination to do its own work...

Janet (disapprovingly, but reconciled to John's clumsy account of his appointment): “Mmmm.. well, I hope those pills make you a bit less grumpy than you have been recently. Euphoria? - Ha! - that would be a turn-up for the books. The last time was in 1998 when you were Sales Manager of the Year for your old firm. And, as for your ‘stiffness’…”. Janet stopped short and, for some reason, recalled her first sweetheart from her teenage years. “Anyway, I thought Steroids were meant for Body Builders and Celebrity ‘Hunks’ ”. Again, her thoughts turned to her very first Love - a now, equally ageing, former local Radio DJ with these physical attributes, and who she had recently re-connected with via the internet - unknown to John...

John shrugged his shoulders in a resigned but quietly triumphant way. “Well, darling, at least I’ve got a diagnosis and some treatment from a supportive specialist. And Samantha has said to Bang Hard on her door anytime and not hold back if I have any more problems - especially with any kind of stiffness or if I am finding things frustrating. She said I can look forward to 'playing a round' again, and also that there’s a very good social website forum for people like me where I can get lots of support and make some good friends. It’s called PMRGCAuk, and she’s on it too. I might try it later today… how do you sign-up to these kinds of websites?”

John suddenly had a new sense of energy in his previously tired voice..

Despite their overall successful marriage of 40 years, Janet kept her own counsel over her secret romantic interest via the internet despite John having clumsily let-slip about his obvious affection for his own ‘new’ one in real life. But better to have a few innocent secrets than declared ones?

But Janet knew the score in their relationship - John’s 'new' but hopelessly implausible romantic interest would soon move on. Hers would still be there - and John too. Result or what? John was good at Closing the Deal - but Janet knew more about Managing Contingencies.

After the day’s exciting events, Janet and John agreed that, after a significant day for them both in their retirement relationship with John’s newly diagnosed PMR, and despite uncertainty in the air, it was all the same time to open the Claret - and the Gin - as usual. It was 3 p.m. in the afternoon after all. Business as Usual...

Happy Days!

MB ;-)

Disclaimer: all characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictional .. or are they..? 

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markbenjamin57
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49 Replies
Janll profile image
Janll

The title of your story got my attention immediately, why? We are real Janet and John's. I needed to hear humour this morning. I'm sipping my coffee, waiting for my Steroids to start working. Actually, it takes hours for me to feel relief, but it's a good excuse to use so I can relax in the mornings. Well done MB.

Janll (Janet)

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Janll

Many thanks Janet, nice to raise a few chuckles in between the more serious stuff ;-) I must confess to identifying (just a little) with John in a previous life - although better not say in what ways... ;-)

Rokerman profile image
Rokerman

I've noted Mark that, as a chap, one has to be very circumspect about describing one's symptoms in mixed company - especially that 'morning stiffness'........,.

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Rokerman

Rokerman, I blame Samantha ('Dr French') for starting it... ;-D

Rokerman profile image
Rokerman in reply to markbenjamin57

PMRPro has a lot to answer for too, imo...........👩‍🎓😉

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Rokerman

Better not comment Rokerman, might get my collar felt by the PMRCA 'SPIS' (Silly Posts Investigation Squad)... :-/ :-D

Rokerman profile image
Rokerman in reply to markbenjamin57

Could be right, Mark - meant in the best possible way, tho'!

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Rokerman

Of course Rokerman! ;-)

😂🤣😂

Oh Mark, this did make me laugh! As I read it, I heard it in my mind with the wonderful lilt of our much missed Sir Terry Wogan & I'm sure he'd have read this with great aplomb! 😂

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to

Thanks MrsNails :-). I could hear good old 'Tel's' (rip) voice in my head as I was writing it. Some of his J&J stories are on You Tube - hilarious!

in reply to markbenjamin57

When I was still working, I'd be sitting at traffic lights & l'd look at the person in the next car & they'd be laughing too! Had to be J&J 😂

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to

I remember it well! :-D TW was a comedy genius - a master of cheeky innuendo and and such a great loss...

Ronnie101 profile image
Ronnie101

As a fully paid up member of the GCA gang, but thankfully not the PMR lot, I'm not sure what you mean by this "morning stiffness"... ?

Thanks for making me look at my rheumatologist in a new light!

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Ronnie101

Ronnie, the morning stiffness can manifest itself in a number of ways (in men with PMR and on steroids, particularly). I think, Samantha (Dr French) is the best person to advise on this ;-)

kezzybabes profile image
kezzybabes

Made me hoot out loud in my open plan office hell! Thank you!

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to kezzybabes

All part of the service kezzybabes :-)

Pat9442 profile image
Pat9442

Great Mark. I still have fond memories of your trip to the supermarket with the donkey!

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Pat9442

Thanks Pat, another instalment soon maybe... :-)

Jankie profile image
Jankie

Brilliant. Laughed my socks off

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Jankie

Thanks Jankie - but don't forget to put them back on again.. :-)

Jankie profile image
Jankie in reply to markbenjamin57

Oh er missus

chris2ubelle profile image
chris2ubelle

That's brilliant...Happy Friday everyone x

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to chris2ubelle

Thanks chris2ubelle, happy weekend to you too :-)

polkadotcom profile image
polkadotcom

The following morning Janet awoke terrified as an unfamiliar projectile shot across the bedroom and began running up the wall. Groggily (one too many sherries) she pulled the duvet round her as the projectile landed on the bed and became - for a moment - John. She put out her hand but John could only stop for a minute. Next thing, he was up and running down the stairs.

Janet had to get up as she could hear crockery being thrown around the kitchen. Downstairs, half their best dinner service lay in pieces on the kitchen floor. John looked at her in amazement as she surveyed the ruins 'Look, look' he said, 'I can't hold anything, I just drop it. It's no good, you'll have to get my breakfast ready'.

Just as Janet opened her mouth to say B*****s, John caught sight of the new postwoman through the window. He shot out of the door, using his newfound ability to move quickly, seized the postwoman in both arms, swept her off her feet - and then dropped her.

'I'll sue you for GBH', she squeaked as Janet arrived to help her to her feet. Janet, beginning to feel rather frayed round the edges, managed to get a grip on John's arm and wasn't prepared for the accidental left hook to the jaw as John evaded her grasp and shot off down the driveway.

To be continued

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to polkadotcom

Priceless..! :-D

Patience_1 profile image
Patience_1 in reply to polkadotcom

Love the saga! Non-members just wouldn't understand, would they?!

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Patience_1

Not the PMR bit, but maybe the mid life crisis bit..?! ;-)

jinasc profile image
jinasc

Mark

I have sent you a PM.

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to jinasc

Hi sambucca, reply just sent :-)

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to jinasc

What - about saga?????????? ;-)

jinasc profile image
jinasc in reply to PMRpro

Ahhhhhhhhhhh

S** And Games for the Aged

I presume!!!!!!!!!!!

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to jinasc

I suppose that is better than GAGA, gender and games for the aged...

Janll profile image
Janll

I can hardly wait for the next chapter. Could you make every Friday, Story Day, Mark?

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Janll

Thanks Jan, ahh, bless. I'll have to get the chuckle muscles working a bit harder to entertain you all every week - but I'll see what I can do ;-)

Oh this really cheered me up no end.

Had high dose of dteroid injections in both hips and was sitting here feeling yuck.Thanks more please just what we all need to be able to smile.x

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to

Many thanks scotchlassie - lovely to know. Keep smiling in the meantime :-)

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador

Dunno what world you live in... ;-)

Jackoh profile image
Jackoh

Perhaps you should write a book? " My walk on the Light Side- highlights of my PMR journey"

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Jackoh

Nice one Jackoh, thanks. Actually, you've got me thinking after all the witty (I say that advisedly) posts I've written here.

MB :-)

Up to your usual standard Mark, well done! I hope the book comes out soon. I hope your pred reduction is going well. Best wishes.

Pete

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to

Many thanks Pete - feeling quite humbled by all this lovely feedback! The book's in progress (but I've been saying that for the last 25 years :-/ ).

The pred reduction's going to plan (as far as you can plan with pred tapering..!). 7-ish mgpd and holding steady, a few ups & downs but not bad overall :-). Should be off them totally by around 2023 with a bit of luck!

How about you?

MB

in reply to markbenjamin57

I must admit your quite a jem on the forum. This reduction game is not much fun. I'm using the DSNS on 8mg and reducing. Keep well.

Pete

tgca profile image
tgca in reply to

I'm joining the DSNS gang next week from 10 to 9.5 as not keen on encouraging flares......those with GCA, let me know how you're coping please. Thanks Mark for your humour

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to tgca

I like it tgca! The DSNS 'gang' - sounds like a subversive underground movement!

As for flares* - I still have mine from the 1970's (*trousers, that is). And the paisley patterned kipper tie. Might dust them off and wear them tomorrow - should raise a stir in ASDA!

But seriously (what, me?), take it steady, and you're right - Slower = Better with steroid tapering in our context.

Keep smiling on the journey..

MB :-)

tgca profile image
tgca in reply to markbenjamin57

What's more ... I still possess an original long Laura Ashley dress from her first tiny shop next to South Ken station! But, of course, you lads wouldn't know much about shopping eh?

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to tgca

Wanna bet tgca?

I enjoy shopping for clothes big time - it's not a pastime that's exclusive to you girls..! ;-)

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to tgca

Unless they are taken along for the credit card...

BlueLara profile image
BlueLara

Love it! Brightened up a Monday morning.

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to BlueLara

Thanks SMuppet :-)

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