Here is a post for all those sufferer... - Pelvic Pain Suppo...

Pelvic Pain Support Network

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Here is a post for all those sufferers who after traveling the darkest path we humans can possible tread... Light in the Darkest hour...

Jei-Carter
Jei-Carter

This happened a year ago when out of sheer torture my body just began to shut down... When the Sheer Pudendal Pain made my brain start the passing process.....

Well i guess i will share something since it was kinda a revelation for me... I had a near death experience several weeks ago... I have had near death experiences but those were near instant experiences when i would of gone in a instant in a crash.... But this last time was when my body and mind were brought to the edge and I had one of those experiences where I was seeing into another world that only appears when near death.... My body was shutting down, sick of anguish and suffering from this chronic nerve condition i have..... I have to take so much medicine my blood would get a Vampire High.... I hate the meds and wish the hundreds of procedures and dozens of surgeries could of saved me... Dying from sheer pain is not fun at ALL.... But with this last experience of coming so close to the edge I have found some comfort... Cause there is a truth to all those stories of seeing something that can only be seen when u are near the edge.... A different world that begins to open up when spiraling towards death... Like a extra dimension that we simple cant see in our normal lives. It was my neighbor that was around when I was just convulsing on the the ground and completely unable to communicate... I just slipped into this state after being sick for a LONG month... It was when a HUGE storm swept into DFW ... When a wall of water came through with a bunch of tornadoes.... I remember the way my mind just started to let go from my suffering body.... However in my situation I have just had to learn to just take the pain and be a man. So when i still had some control i didnt immediately go to the emergency room.. My Bad... Cause My neighbor took me to Hughleys hospital which most everyone here knows is a death trap... But before that was a crazy ride... Time Stopped Flowing in any earthly way... It felt like a eternity when I was slipping away... Reality became a wild Loop and the passage of time pretty much stopped. I have always striven to be a good guy any way i could. So I dont know what darker souls may see. But I saw the light that u hear from all the stories.. My neighbor was patting me on the back a trying to tell me that everything will be ok while he was taking me to the emergency room. I remember how there was a rainbow that came out after the storm... A huge vertical rainbow. I remember Josh saying hey just look at that rainbow man.. I was tripping hard.. I was seeing so much light that when i looked over at him in the driver's seat I thought he was a Angel or something trying to talk to me... The worry of death completely fell away... What i was seeing was saying that It Is OK... Dont worry...... My experience was telling me that it is ok to let go... I was letting go.... Death did not seem like any kind of scary thing... It felt like the world i was seeing was saying that whatever happened it was not a bad thing... I felt at peace with the situation... On that wild drive reality was spinning out away but a sense that that was ok enveloped me... I tried to open the door and just go. But i was buckled in so i couldnt... I wanted to go with the light... I was Ready... I actually wish I could of let go cause i was at Such Peace with it.... To bad I got to the hospital cause when i was wrenched back into life it was so violent compared to the peace that I was feeling... I was mostly unconscious when i was hooked up to the machines and forced back to life... Light and Peace felt way better than being brought back into the Fight... Coming back to the world was a horrible experience while when I was Leaving it everything felt alright.... Going from the expanded dimensions and back into the few that we can see in our waking world was sad... Yet being able to look back at the experience and see that it was such feeling of revaluation is a good thing... Death itself holds no feelings of foreboding anymore... I learned to not fear death long ago but to be given the sight that the experience itself felt like a good thing is a comfort to know now.... So here i am putting my view of the thing up for everyone to see... It feels like I should share that I Did see the Light in the Darkest Situation... There IS something there at the edge to see.... It was beautiful... Full of light and a feeling of contentedness... Not anything to Fear when i was there... That is something good out of the bad... Light where when before it felt like there was darkness... Peace at the End of our Struggles... A place to rest after a life of struggles ... Not a Bad Thing at all....

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And just a few days ago i was in so much pain that the stresser signals once again started me down this road... The body doesnt understand just how we are dying from the sheer pain... But our Soul Knows that our body is reaching the absolute limit of pain... So in a mercy move to save us from the torture it literally just starts to let go from this life cause the pain is just TOO much to Humanly Cope with....

This happened just a few days ago... was just a brush with death where as before my body shut down almost completely last time... Very enlightening experiences however.... The Spirit Molecule.... DMT... if one for real thing... I got just a fraction of the amount that hit me last spring when i almost passed.... It is made for making passing something not dark which is what people fear... "The Abyss" .... it gives meaning to what could seem meaningless.... It gives u a hardcore connection to what has been good in ur life.... Those u love come to mind and they are there to help guide u away from any fear of what may come... The closer to death the brighter the Light flares to Illuminate the path that u are then walking... I got just a touch this last time so no white light but I was SURE i was about to meet this girl Vahn i loved... And looking around i was like shit i get this place clean if i am bout to finally meet up with her again...lol... I wasnt in deep enough that i was walking the golden path but i knew somehow that i was about to go that way

... I was in this world still but somehow knew i was bout to meet this someone in the next... There was the slight disconnect cause i was like i gatta get this place ready for this girl to walk in... At that level i didnt know HOW i was bout to reunite but the mind makes it a certainty that u are about to.... Death becomes almost Nothing to u... and the closer u get the more the path elevates to the clouds... and passing becomes something glorious... A Shining Shore Under a Swift Sunrise... absolute truth...

The thing that has killed me as a Pudendal Sufferer was the curse of being born in Texas.... If i could go back the first thing i would of done was escape to a west coast or east coast state... I have been trapped here though after spending every dollar on going and getting pudendal surgeries... IF i could of known just how criminally backwards the medical community is here then i could of know it was nothing but a waste no matter how many dozens of doctors you go to here.... I would of had a better chance any place else on the planet... The central south is where all the asshole drs migrate too... And the drs that are created here are formed into the worst possible place for a nerve pain sufferer to be forced to exist in... It is so sad to see other states progressing and KNOWING that of the 50 states i am stuck in the one that is going to be the last holdout in providing compassionate care... The freakin heroin epidemic in the US has made Tx the worst place to be if u are suffering from real pain... That and the misuse of pills have merged to make the perfect storm for people with painful conditions like this one... :-(... I curse my birth... Give me the Third World anyday over this huge hell state...

I had a near-death experience when I was 8 years old and i went to that place so I get it

I had one too about 6 years ago and a 2nd a year later.... The total white light experience... I think the way i was dying then is like how many people that end up with no resources nearly on the street or on the street.... Sheer pain and time made my body go over the edge.... I was stuck in a bad place and started puking till just dry heaving my body into dehydration with the pain..... I have wrote it all down on pudendalhope forum but then the body gave in i had the best experience when i was passing into the classic total peace good pure light relief....

I posted that 4 years ago cause i know alot of people pass from these hardcore dead end situations.... And so many that do go dont come back.... Sheer pain made my mind accept that the suffering was so much more than anyone living can endure.... I just wonder how many pudendal victims ended up on some street and hit the brick wall that a person just cant go on with...

U were at the edge so young that totally changed ur whole life im sure.... Before mine i just expected the black void when i loose this fight.... Never believed it would be totally opposite what so many people fear dying will be like...

Yes I remember after I went through the tunnel with some beings by my side at the end of the tunnel was it seems like a river or a stream with a rowboat and two oars and when I looked across the other side there was my great-aunt who had passed holding to children's hands and it looks so beautiful kind of like when the wizard of Oz movie turns into color and I wanted to go so badly but my aunt told me that I had to go back.... I hated going back... So it does make you less afraid of death after you had a glimpse of that

wow thats nice... There are different ways that things ppl see... i had 2 experiences.... 2nd was when i had lost my doctor and had to deal with the pain and that made my second experience kick in.... That one was not so close to death... So i was in my place and when the pressure of the pain was going off the scales once again that kicked in the NDE.. I totally and completely believe you...

And I forgot to mention I've had a couple of other near-death experiences but not as vivid as that one

Well the first time i would of died cause i had lost massive dehydration so the brilliant light was the most beautiful vision i ever could of experienced....

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