To preface, I am in the US, so whatever ill health disability you have in the UK doesn't apply to me. I work full time in the banking industry as a bank manager. I manage a relatively small branch, and have 5 employees. Its a good company and overall they are very good to their employees. I have sales goals, however, and I am the type of person driven to succeed, and when I am not doing well, it bothers me greatly. Last year, I did ok, but not up to my normal level in many areas. I have my performance review this Friday and though my boss is a nice woman, I'm dreading that she may not give me as good a review as she has in the past, causing me more upset.
I have spoken to her and to my HR people about possibly taking short term disability to recharge. I do feel better at work when I have some time off, but it never seems to last. Its becoming more and more evident to me that I may not be able to do a 40 hours work week anymore and still produce. I'm not bad enough that I can't get to work and do a fairly good job, but to put in the effort to be a top performer, I just don't know if I am able anymore. Though I would really like to take some time off, I almost feel like I'm giving up and allowing my feelings to take over. I see both my Gastro and my GP in February and will consult with them on how I feel. Last week I felt great, but I only worked 3.5 days and had a pretty easy week and I had a few days off prior to that. I have spoken about reducing my hours, but I am customer facing and management, so not sure it would be fair? I am at a loss. I don't feel bad enough to not go to work, just not good enough to do well many days. Its hit and miss. Does anyone get what I mean?