P/A and depression : Going though a... - Pernicious Anaemi...

Pernicious Anaemia Society

31,915 members23,044 posts

P/A and depression

Shellbes profile image
8 Replies

Going though a pretty bad time of it my relationship is on the rocks I’m up and down with my moods can’t get my partner to understand how having p/a makes a person feel he goes out of his way to stress me out I’ve lost all friends because of this I don’t know how to deal with the depression side that p/a brings I’m on tablets for depression . Can any one help with how to pick myself up or tell me why I feel so down and low I never was like this my partner tells me to stop living in the past and that it’s me he didn’t know how bubbly I was before all this x

Written by
Shellbes profile image
Shellbes
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
8 Replies
wedgewood profile image
wedgewood

I can only suggest that you try self-injection if your GP will not give you more regular injections , as your 3 monthtly one’s do not keep you clear of symptoms. You could just self-inject every other day until there is no improvement . ( don’t worry you cannot over dose !) Also good idea to supplement with folic acid - (400 ug ) , as it works together with B12 .If you buy in bulk ( from certain online German pharmacies , and Medisave for needles &syringes ) an injection need not cost much more than £1.00

If you are Needle phobic , there is a device called an Auto injector from Union Medico in Denmark cost about €90.00 I have to inject once a week to keep well . My GP refused to give me them more regularly .Best wishes 👍🍀

Shellbes profile image
Shellbes

I’ve had a look for the b12 shots you can get them on amazon as well if anyone wanted to know which is where I’m going to order mine being I think I really do need extra

Bandit224 profile image
Bandit224

B12 deficiency/PA can certainly have an impact on our mental state - depression, anger, mood swings. That said, many with B12-Deficiency/PA also have other deficiencies that contribute as well - especially Vitamin D. Have you had your D levels checked?

Gambit62 profile image
Gambit62Administrator

if the depression is due to PA then that suggests you are undertreated.

You could try sublingual tablets and sprays, or nasal sprays or even skin patches to see if they work for you - if not you can source injectable B12 from outside the UK.

I lived with depression for decades - went when I got my B12 levels right but resurfaced as an issue when I developed hashimotos thyroidosis. If I can get the meds for that right it is ok but its a tricky balance for me in hot weather where I end up having to drop the dosage to get temperature right but mood starts to drop as a result.

Over the years I have found mindfulness and meditation helpful as coping strategies.

I found this book very useful

amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-pr...

it comes with guided meditations

I think there are some taster meditations on this site

franticworld.com/

I also find some of the guided meditations n this site useful

self-compassion.org/categor...

Please also note that there are a number of forums on HU supporting depression and mental health.

healthunlocked.com/mental-h...

If you have problems with intrusive thoughts then you may find this post of interest

healthunlocked.com/couchtob...

Marz profile image
Marz

How are your Ferritin levels ? - if low in range it would be good to seek further testing for Iron. It is possible for anaemia to cause low mood. Ferritin is stored iron in the liver. Also check Folate and VitD.

Low mood could also be linked to low thyroid - have you been correctly tested ?

deniseinmilden profile image
deniseinmilden

I sympathise wholeheartedly.

I felt like I lost my partner who I was desperate to be with because he didn't understand and got bored of me not being well enough (reality was he was narcissistic!) and like I lost a subsequent relationship because he (was a control freak nutter and) couldn't cope with my being ill, despite me telling him from the outset what I was like.

Now I have elected to be on my own (I was always desperately scared of it before as circumstances beyond my control meant I was mostly on my own when I was a child and I hated it), I have discovered an amazing peace. I, like you, had/have lots of friends and now I don't have to jump through hoops for a partner, I can see any of them whenever I like and am well enough to. And if I have to skimp on life for a bit afterwards to recover then that's fine and no one is giving me a hard time!

I thought I wouldn't cope on my own (was told it so often I believed it!) but although it's not easy, it's a lot easier than trying to live to someone else's schedule!

The effects of the mental abuse of someone telling you that you aren't good enough for them is immeasurable but the reality is that they are the one who isn't good enough. I know it's not like that now but in the past marriage was "in sickness and in health" and you were expected to care for your partner. If you'd had a stroke or had cancer or similar there would be much greater social pressure on him to care for you. This rotten condition can be just as debilitating, the only difference - which makes it worse - is the lack of understanding from everyone who hasn't got it!

Hopefully with enough B12 and supporting supplements you will feel well enough to get control of your thoughts firmly enough that you can call the shots and you can chose who you see when and can manage your energy levels for YOU and what YOU want.

Low potassium is another thing not mentioned above that can make you feel bleak.

Many people do best if they self inject at a frequency that keeps their symptoms at bay and take a broad spectrum multivitamin and mineral supplement plus extra folate, potassium, magnesium and iron.

If your partner wants you to be well he will help you with all these things and learn about this health issue and the problems we encounter with the medical profession. If not, he's not as good as he thinks he is!

Good luck with everything - you'll get there!

Miss-guineapig profile image
Miss-guineapig

Aww shellbes, I am not so knowledgeable as many others on this site who will give you sound advice. I was extremely low in mood for a long time after diagnosis, I still cry so easily if stressed. This illness has so many dimensions and that's why many people struggle to understand. I don't know how long you have been diagnosed but it does take a year or two in my experience to get treatment sorted and to function on a sort of base line. Please keep taking your antidepressants and see your GP again to review type and doseage. As of course you will going with your injections and just take one day at a time. If you have a good day, do what you can. If you have a rubbish day, do very little.

I don't know if you know anyone who does mindfulness classes? I had never been to anything like that before but found that these classes made me feel emotionally better and helped me to find a level of control and confidence. Which in turn helped me with my physical symptoms......just another angle to think about. My poor husband has taken the brunt of a lot, he still stands by me....let your partner read some of your posts as it is one of those illnesses that people really don't always understand. I wish you well and please let us know how you get on. One day at a time. A year on and I am in a better place, so hang in. Big hugs

Coachlady11 profile image
Coachlady11

I’m lucky in that my husband was amazing while I was going through the destructive phase that depression can cause

I was diagnosed with clinical depression 2 years before my PA diagnosis and after fighting with my GP fir more frequent jabs I finally gave in and went down the self inject route

After 6 months of this - I was finally able to come off the anti depressants

I inject once a week and finally feel as though I have got my life back after almost 10 years of hell

I would look into self injecting as your post suggests you are still suffering and my heart goes out to you as I know what it’s like

You can get through this and this a fantastic place to get lots of advice and support xx

You may also like...

Depression and anxiety

that my partner is going to leave me. I get depressed about how quick life is and general down...

Major depression & B12 deficiency

anyone else who’s had severe depression along with PA and how could you tell that the PA caused it...

Depressed..

every 1 to 2 weeks (SI). I was feeling good but then I started to feel sick, loss of appetite, week...

PA. Side Effect Depression.

Inside “ Help I feel so lonely confused in disarray How can I face tomorrow when I feel like...

P***ed off with it

legs are burning, tingling , I only feel well for about 3 weeks out of 12