Heartbreak hotel...: It's happened - I... - Pernicious Anaemi...

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Heartbreak hotel...

Schenks profile image
50 Replies

It's happened - I am at an age where I can now put a syringe under my bra-lass bosom and leave it there to warm up whilst I wash my face. Once upon a time I couldn't even hold a pencil there.

Sigh.

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Schenks profile image
Schenks
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50 Replies
puncturedbicycle profile image
puncturedbicycle

You're a multitasking genius. x

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to puncturedbicycle

LOL! XX

Schenks profile image
Schenks

Nope. Too tip-tilted!

Schenks profile image
Schenks

Think of a policeman's helmet hanging on a wall, pointing straight out. Now think of a beret with a spud in it, on the same hook.

expatkerry profile image
expatkerry in reply to Schenks

Shenks, why are you not writing comedy for the BBC?

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to expatkerry

You are too kind! I'm too old for a vagina person on the BBC, not pretty enough any more for the 'nice t*ts' casting brigade, not ex-oxbridge, haven't got the contacts, have got a vagina anyway, don't have the money for a face/boob/ar*e lift, am not thin enough to be admitted for anorexia nervosa in the local asylum and haven't got the muscle mass in my cheeks to give bl... er, er ... to smile prettily enough. But really, thank you for the encouraging remark!

Pinkpeony profile image
Pinkpeony in reply to Schenks

Haha Schenks you n ever fail to make me laugh 😉

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to Pinkpeony

😘😘😘

Jose651 profile image
Jose651 in reply to Schenks

Class, pure class,

I just love people who can laugh and themselves, it's a great gift to be blessed with, and you have buckets of it S.

😘🍀

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to Jose651

Takes one to know one! 😘x

Schenks profile image
Schenks

Why, God, Why?!!!

busterboy profile image
busterboy in reply to Schenks

Careful Schenks - He might just reply!!! It could just be to make us outcast laugh at ourselves and you sure do that as for BBC - boy I would love to see you sweep through there, we might even get some proper news reporting, now there's a thought.

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to busterboy

You are such as love. And boy oh boy, do those overpaid, privileged, petted tw*ts who smirk their way all the way to the bank need a rocket right where the sun don't shine!

busterboy profile image
busterboy in reply to Schenks

Are you sure we can't persuade you to take them on, we could get a posse of wrinkly, grey haired, couldn't give two hoots lads and lassies with our walking sticks, even if we didn't need, and any other legal appendages to back you up. Thanks for the good laugh today.

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to busterboy

I had read that twice to get my head round what part of the anatomy to which you refer when you speak of grey haired and wrinkly; I have a choice of several! I think it was the legal appendage bit that conjured an interesting image of wrinkled things that dangle, but I got a bit confused as to how you'd hold a walking stick with them... I was trying to imagine storming the BBC, all of us with walking sticks held in such a way as to leave our hands free in order to wave our fists and gumming our ire at reception... like a bunch of geriatric escapees from 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' crossed with elderly pole dancers on lithium.

Think I went off on one....

Surely you just need more B12 to sort that out?! 😆

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to

God, if only! I have to lean over the b*ggers to try and see where to inject into the ledge of fat upon which they rest, when I'm hunched over the syringe!

in reply to Schenks

Oh you have made me laugh the this morning, thank you. 😂

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to

:D x

MariLiz profile image
MariLiz

It comes to us all as time and gravity work their evil spell!

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to MariLiz

My grandma used to say, "Every age has its compensations!" Wonder when I'll get mine?

MariLiz profile image
MariLiz in reply to Schenks

I think the grandchildren are mine!

humanbean profile image
humanbean

I could have hidden an entire pencil case under my boobs from the age of about 12. I always wanted to be small. If I could afford it I would have a boob job to reduce the size of mine.

Jose651 profile image
Jose651 in reply to humanbean

Hahaaa, did you need to wear an...Over shoulder boulder holder.

😜

humanbean profile image
humanbean in reply to Jose651

I probably should have done, but I didn't. Running was painful as a result. Sports bras weren't a "thing" when I was growing up. And I may have been exaggerating slightly for effect. ;)

Pinkpeony profile image
Pinkpeony in reply to humanbean

Oh humanibean if you had seen my miserable post yesterday about my unwanted loss of weight you would see the other side . I have to shop in Markies girlie s department for a bra lol.

It's not a popular subject on here as most people are trying to lose weight . I wondered whether to approach my GP for a boob job but it would look odd with all the wrinkles 😱

humanbean profile image
humanbean in reply to Pinkpeony

Oh, I'm sure there are pros and cons of being at either end of the spectrum. But gravity is affecting me more and more and I'm not happy about the look. I imagine most people would prefer a happy medium.

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to humanbean

Lol! Buy you must have been an absolute cracker! Unless you're a man, in which case I get where you're coming from.

humanbean profile image
humanbean in reply to Schenks

Who, me? I can think of a few words to describe how I looked as a teenager and cracker definitely isn't one of them! And I'm definitely female. :)

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to humanbean

Tee hee! 😊👯

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to humanbean

Hahaha!!

Jose651 profile image
Jose651

Pp, I never visualized you as being either tall or thin.

Somehow, I could see you like your avatar, round and full.

I grow them and deep burgundy ones. Class.

J x

Pinkpeony profile image
Pinkpeony in reply to Jose651

Dear Jose I wish .by the way my peony didn't flower this year , a bit like my boobs ! 😘

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to Pinkpeony

Is that a euphemism for not getting any? In which case I think my peony might have shriveled from lack of flowering. If not, ignore me.

Pinkpeony profile image
Pinkpeony in reply to Schenks

Schenksy . Take it whichever way you want HaHa .😄 How could I ever ignore you ? x

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to Pinkpeony

:-/

Jose651 profile image
Jose651 in reply to Pinkpeony

Hi Pp,

I can't remember if mine ever bloomed, but then again I got a bad knock on the round thing that sits on ones shoulders.

However, my Peonys did bloom this year, no thanks to me cos I didn't feed or put up the obelisks to prevent them ending up on the ground😔

Ah well, there is always next year, or the year after. It all depends on the NHS. Lol

J xx

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to Jose651

You'll never dive off the stepladder without checking the pool's full again! And peonies thrive on neglect, I'm told. Mine do - i had four blooms on my three year old!

Jose651 profile image
Jose651 in reply to Schenks

Clearing dead leaves etc out of guttering 👎or jumping into a warm pool 👌are non comparable S.

This truth is, I got great satisfaction out of doing the farmer, er sorry, sorry, the Former.

😂

Pinkpeony profile image
Pinkpeony in reply to Jose651

Woohoo Jose . Freudian slip ? 😄

Jose651 profile image
Jose651 in reply to Pinkpeony

T'was indeed Pp, in more ways than one.

Lol

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to Jose651

Lol! By the way, what's the farmer like? 😁

Jose651 profile image
Jose651 in reply to Schenks

I can't remember to be perfectly honest.... something like this maybe, 🐑, (thats a ram by the way)

😜

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to Jose651

😂

Pinkpeony profile image
Pinkpeony in reply to Schenks

Haha !

Pinkpeony profile image
Pinkpeony in reply to Jose651

Jose I am a tad confused . Bad knocks and blooming peonies don't seem to go together .

Are you waiting for an op ? 🌹

Pinkpeony profile image
Pinkpeony in reply to Pinkpeony

Jose, so sorry I have just read your profile .

I hope you get sorted soon x x

Jose651 profile image
Jose651 in reply to Pinkpeony

😘 to you Pp.

Gb57 profile image
Gb57

Sooooooo funny made my day

Schenks profile image
Schenks in reply to Gb57

😁 x

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