So this is a long story, but I've been looking in here for a few years and you all seem so kind and supportive and knowledgeable, and I'm hoping you'll have good advice.
I'm in my early 30s and have had trouble with depression and anxiety since I was 12 or so. Tried just about all of the usual medications, plus some of the more unusual ones, as well as years of therapy on and off. About four years ago, I started getting numbness and tingling in my hands and feet, terrible memory and balance, problems with finding words or following conversations, horrible fatigue. After a year, my husband insisted I get it checked out, and my PCP initially put it down to the psych issues, but agreed to run some blood tests after I really insisted that it seemed very different from what I'd come to expect from the psych problems. Low and behold, my B12 was around 180, and I'm told I need to start the loading dose asap and stay on the shots for life.
I kept up with them for a few months, and the anxiety and depression and everything ebut else got much better, then got off track as I went through a layoff and started a new job. Symptoms returned but worse, and I finally got myself in for a few months to get the dang shots. I guess my doctor was concerned about me remaining compliant, so she ordered everything for me to do the shots myself at home. But because my symptoms had gotten so bad, she was also concerned that all this wasn't B12, and sent me for an MRI and neuro consult to rule out MS. That turned out fine, thank goodness, but then I was sent off on the specialist merry-go-round, since, according to my PCP, a B12 issue shouldn't be causing all these problems. Somewhere in the midst of this, I called up for a renewal of the B12 prescription and was told I didn't need it any more because my levels were normal. Of course things got much worse from there, and I ended up back in the office and being asked "Who told you that? You shouldn't have been told that. You're on this for life. Let's do another loading schedule because your level is in the toilet again."
Long story short, none of the specialists found anything, and all of it was put down to stress/anxiety/depression, because of course my B12 levels were normal again and B12 shouldn't have been causing it all to begin with. I saw a therapist for a few months without much improvement, then a psychiatrist, but stopped when I realized that they'd also put it down as psychosomatic without looking at my medical records or speaking to my PCP--and after a particularly frustrating appointment when I called this to the psychiatrist's attention and she asked me why I was "getting so pissy." I left my PCP a few months later after discovering she'd lied to me about receiving some test results and that an MRI disc that she asked me to provide had sat on someone's desk for eight months before being returned to me with the explanation "We don't accept out-of-network discs. We don't have a way of adding them to patients' files."
I thought getting a new PCP would give me a fresh start, and she's been very accomodating with prescribing Xanax and Welbutrin to help me through a recent stressful period. But my B12 prescription is up for renewal now, and she's saying she won't do it. She outright said that whatever neurological symptoms I'm having are a psych issue and I should go back to therapy. Despite the diagnosis my previous PCP gave me, and the fact that my MCV has been over 100 for years and the numbness and tingling haven't ever gone away. She kept offering to run another blood test to prove to me that everything is fine, and seemed annoyed when I pointed out that it would of course normal since I did the last injection only two weeks ago.
So I have a prescriptions for three month's worth of Xanax and Welbutrin, a referral to a hemotologist who will "reassure me that everything is fine," and a prescription for another month of B12 to get me through until the hemotologist "reassures" me.
I honestly don't know what to do. I'm in the US, so I could leave her and find another PCP, but I'm concerned that having psych issues all over my chart will make it appear as if I'm doctor shopping and have very serious psychosomatic problems and that I'll get the same treatment anywhere I go. My husband says I should just order the B12 online and ignore my doctor; my mom says I should either call my previous PCP and see if she can set this new person straight or try to get this hemotologist to back me up.
I tried to show the new PCP a print out from the CDC website that very clearly states that a B12 deficiency that isn't attributable to dietary causes ought to be treated with lifelong injections, but she said she didn't need to see it. I asked for it to be entered into my file anyway, so now I'm wondering whether it would be a good idea, if she discontinues the shots, to ask her very bluntly "So you'd like to deviate from the standard of care? Because you think this is a psych issue? Without performing any psych tests or having the results of a psych consult? Or speaking with the person who diagnosed the defiency?" (In the US at least, "standard of care" is a key term for malpractice suits; if she's going to start down this path, she needs to know she'll be looking at a suit if I end up drooling in a wheelchair.)
It's so crazy that I can get all the Xanax I want just by saying "I'm having a lot of stress," but can't get a dang vitamin when I have a documented history of deficiency!