Pushing through the Pain

[Crystallmatters]

Hi Everyone,

I have been trying to get fitter the last three weeks, I figure as the pain is so bad and I have had to up my medication, I must do something to help the bad situation I find myself in less fit more stiff and more pain, going down hill, the brain hurting with both brain fog and increasing pain, knowing I suffer now thanks to the magic word pain massive hurt. Stop and Respect the painful situation with compassion, Hu Um difficult , it is relentless , so deep either throbbing deep into the spine or so much pressure that does not stop. like someone standing on my lower spine that weights one hundred tons and won't get off. I went out on a walk to night as I have been disabled all day with lock down pain, can't move, exhaustion, so enough is enough.

Well here we go , yes more pain after three weeks, I feel fitter better mentally but my body at the moment does not like what I am doing. So my FND I thought was better, until yesterday I had a massive attack in Waitrose, I think I can now feel when one is on the way, but there seems little I can do to avert the situation, My brain try's to shut down, everything seems far away, I am in a store looking through a fog, My body is stuck it won't move, go on shift I tell my sell , No it won't , ok Breathe , think about this and now please left leg pick up my foot, No it won't , ok distraction for a while looking over there studying what's going on then move, yes I am on my way my right foot dragging behind me hanging onto the trolly trying to look normal ? what does normal look like I tell myself, OK time to get out of here, I am not well enough to do self check out I can hardly think let alone move, what a diabolical situation this is. A lovely member of Waitrose staff come over, guides me to the check out and puts all my now few items few, I was so grateful.

So What a day , until tonight I have missed it, again another day in the week that has vanished in pain. I am now lying on my back typing this watching Andrea Rea in the back ground. I don't enjoy this life as a pain sufferer and I don't want to admit it.

Big question three weeks on am I worse or better off , trying and doing all this excise, Um I think to early to judge , but I am not currently worse, Just can breathe a little more.

I will up date you all in another three weeks as to this method of madness I find my self in.

Love to you all , just to remind a few you are not alone in pai suffering xxxx

[Madlegs1]

Great to be able to let it all out.

And a big Cheer for that lovely Waitrose staff member who helped you in your distress.

Keep writing--- it helps us to see things in perspective.

A great idea I came across recently, is to start writing a Thankfulness list.

All the little things to be greatful about each day. Like in Waitrose!

They mount up and add up.

Peace to you and keep going.💚💚💚☘️☘️☘️👍👍😍😍

[Crystallmatters in reply to Madlegs1]

Great idea , Thank you , very kind, I like to keep things in the real world of reality.

I know pain loves you feeling down and breads off it , it is like a drug in its, self . The more you stay positive the better I can fend off pain , pain loves to latch onto negative thoughts, hence it is important to stay positive. I am pleased it is easy to keep a Thankfulness list, starting with you and all these lovely people on this site / forum , my wife and children . The amazing care team . Love to you all xxx

[Madlegs1 in reply to Crystallmatters]

I love that..

Read a poem called Abu Bin Adam. You will like it!

There also is a very useful App called "Insight Matters". Which has helped me o lot. It is free and full of meditations and guided visualisations.

It can take a while to sort through all the different offerings-- there are so many.

I've made up a playlist of the ones I like ,and just run through it when times are tough.

It's a lonely road ,travelling along the pain continuum, so it is important to cling on the the good moments and cherish them.

I know from your writings ,that you are strong underneath.

All the best.😎

[Spanky2019]

So sorry that your pain is so relentless and difficult, but I hate to say it but I enjoyed the description of your experience. With multiple pain issues related to lumbar & cervical stenosis and multiple autoimmune diseases I relate to the pain drain. I too recently started exercising inspite of the pain. I've gotten way too fat and that's not helping anything. Hang in there. I'm across the pain from you but certainly feel your pain. Sending my regards!

[Bambs]

Hi I like you live with constant pain I don't have very much sleep. I hope you get some relief soon

[Poppy_Ann]

Hi there, I have suffered with chronic back pain since 1976 after an accident in the army, I was crushed with a section of temporary aluminium roadway which we were using on an exercise to repair a airfield we were recovering the roadway to return it to its trailer but the person running the exercise started to role it up the wrong way up and it started to strain at the joints in the end the tension was so much that it started to role backwards which pushed my hands onto my shoulders forcing my head backwards out of the way I ended up with the whole weight pushing down on my shoulders then down my back to my hips then down my legs to my feet which caused damage to all my joints from my neck to my feet, I have been told that I need both knees and hips replacing but the doctor says they will not take the chance due to not wanting to give me a general anaesthetic due to a dodgy heart and cannot just give me the injections in my back due to the damage from the accident which broke my back in 4 place's L1,L2,L3 and L4 have cracked straight through the doctor said for every bone in my back that is damaged they would need to fuse the one above and the one below to help and as I have the 4 in a row plus one above and one below I would have 6 in a row fused together and the surgeon told me for every one that they fuse there is a 10% chance of something going wrong and it paralysing me putting me in a wheel chair for the reminder of my life and so a 60% chance of me being paralysed which i do not want so I just put up with the pain I can only walk a dozen steps on a good day and I cannot even get out of bed on my bad days if for any reason I miss my medication I am in agony and cannot move without pain, what I try to do is to laugh at the pain instead of crying out as most people do not like it if every time they look at you you are complaining about your pain you would soon have no friends coming round for a chat, I have to take 22 tablets a day of which 18 are for pain control, no medication can remove all of the pain what they do is get it to a level that you can cope with. Good luck with finding something that works for you.Regards Poppy Ann