Chronic pain/other health conditions

[NICCP01]

I found this on Facebook and sent it to a few members of my family and friends who simply do not understand chronic pain and the other health conditions I have. It seems to have an impact on them understanding why I can/can’t do some things xx

“Please understand that being in pain doesn’t mean I am still not a human being. I have to spend most of my day with this pain and I probably don’t seem like much fun to be with, but I am still me within this body.

Please understand the difference between being `happy` and `healthy`. When you have the flu you probably feel miserable with it, but I have had this pain for years and I cannot be miserable all the time. In fact I work hard at NOT being miserable, so if you are talking to me and I sound happy, it means I am happy. That’s all. It doesn’t mean that I am not in a lot of pain or extremely tired or that I am getting better, or any of those things. Please don’t say “Oh you are sounding better”. I am not sounding better, I am sounding happy.

Please understand that being able to walk for 10 minutes doesn’t necessarily mean I can walk for 20 minutes. And just because I managed to walk for 20 minutes yesterday doesn’t mean I can walk the same today. It is just as confusing for me as it is for you.

Please understand my pain is variable. It is quite possible that one day I am able to walk to the park and back whilst the next day I will have trouble getting to the kitchen. Please therefore don’t attack me when I am in pain one day and you say “But you did it before”. If you want me to do something then ask if I can. In a similar vein I may need to cancel an invitation at the last minute and if this happens, do not take it personally.

Please understand that getting out and doing things does not make me feel better – it can often make things much worse. My pain can cause secondary depression (wouldn’t YOU get depressed if you were hurting all the time?), but it is not created by depression.

Please understand that if I say I have to sit down/take these pills now, that I have to do it right now and it cannot be put off because I am out for the day or whatever.

If you want to suggest a cure for me…….don’t. It is not because I don’t appreciate the thought and it is not because I don’t want to get well, it is because I have had almost every single one of my friends suggest something at one point or another. You can try them all then realise you are using up so much energy trying things that can even make you worse.

In many ways I depend on others who are not in pain……sometimes I need help with the shopping, cooking or cleaning. I may need the help of the doctor or physiotherapist. I may need people at different levels, they are my link to the outside world, and as much as possible I need you to help me”.

[mamahill]

Thank you for posting this. It sums chronic pain up really well. I too am going to send this to some people who just don't seem to get it even though I've been this way for over 7 years.

[katieoxo60]

Hello NICCP01, Your post sums up the feelings of chronically sick pain suffers. Thank you . Doctors , freinds colleagues ect tend to assess your health status by what you can do. But even without illness no one is capable of doing all. I also like the way the depression part is expressed, recently I had a major operation and a certain GP suggested it was merely depression behind my back. When I found out I was recovering from a major op, and this took away the will to bother anymore and my operation just added to the constant pain. Now I have worsening illness which limits my daily activities, relationships ect like the writer of the post.

[Hidden]

That says it all! I could hug you for posting this, thank you soo much.

[AuntieH]

That's an excellent article, thank you!!! It says it all!!

[vondel12]

Couldn't have said or explained it better myself people have no idea and always suggest some supplement or the other or tell me I'm dwelling on the pain too much but some days when it's really bad nothing can distract

[Joe_D]

NICCP01 for sure people without pain have a really hard time knowing what we go through! How are you feeling today?