Hi guys. I've never talked about the big D word before but I have faced huge amounts of it by the local authority and its workers. All aware I have bipolar as there is a note that says I'm vulnerable on their PC screen. They know about me and also know I struggle to phone sometimes and it's been awful. Not even mentioned my pain yet!
I was wondering...how many of you are discriminated against and what form does it take? Jake ✌🏼️
Hi Jake what form does the discrimination take? I get discriminated against sometimes coz I am female, and at other times because of my age. People in their 60's like me often get looked on as 'old' and not worth bothering about. A good example of this is at my doctors. I avoid the male middle ages ones now as so many seem to view me as a middle aged neurotic attention seeking woman despite rarely going there.
I think that if you are a white middle class young male in a good job then you will be fine. If not (which let's face it is most of us) you will always get some form of discrimination. I find this in the UK but not sure about other countries. x
Hi. Hope you are good. Well, I have made this post on a pain site. I'm talking more about being discriminated against because of a illness, mental or physical. Because I try to do as much as I can and I'm well spoken, when I become unwell, depressed or manic.
I get discriminated against because people just can't understand that we have such different good days and bad. In my case, I may be able to use the phone one week and then not for another 8 weeks. People struggle to understand how different I become. It's made getting help very hard. My psych knows about me and I try to be as independent as possible but when I suddenly drop in mood, people don't think I need support. I get left out. The truth is my life becomes at risk rapidly in those situations and they don't always come with a warning. The back pain is just making everything else worse and I've not even mentioned that yet.
Ok I get that. I don't get such extremes as you but the other week I was walking with a friend. Now I suffer crippling back pain as well as mild copd. Well the 2 of them combined can make walking pretty hard especially up hills. My friend chose a way to walk which included a gentle slope. Well it was a gentle slope to her but to me it looked like the north face of the Eiger!
When I protested she said impatiently it's only a small hill and proceeded to barrel her way up it with me trailing painfully behind. I also get the 'look' and the impatient 'tsk' when I have to sit down for a few minutes.
As far as you are concerned Jake it seems clear to me that others don't know how to respond to you and they feel uncomfortable so it's easier for them to ignore you instead of dealing with it. To be honest I wouldn't know either as though I do suffer from depression it's not usually that extreme. Also I realised at the age of 19 that I was alone in life and my family and others didn't care so I just deal with it on my own. I have always had that habit and it is a bit of a miracle I am still here considering how much some support would have helped. x
Hi. I think you are right. I never thought that they didn't know how to respond... So...selected to do nothing. We set up this thing where they know when I email and they are supposed to respond faster. They still don't. When I need help and can't call, I'll be waiting five days for it.
Hypercat is not off the mark with discrimination against women. It is well accepted in research that women are not taken as seriously by doctors as men, especially when it comes to pain. One lot of research was done in a French hospital A&E. They found that when women presented with pain from an unknown source both male and female doctors underrated their pain compared to men who presented in the same way. When the source of pain was known, female doctors rated female patients the same, but male doctors still underrated female patients' pain.
And this could explain why so many people with conditions that result in pain feel that they are discriminated against. People generally underrate other people's pain.
That's interesting and it does seem to add up. I see more females struggling to get what they need than males.
Jake,
When you mention you had a "note" on your home I thought there might be some legal action about foreclosing on your door. What to you say on your note, and what is it supposed to accomplish? You will be educating me as where I live, the only small emergency notes are given to put on one's door to help first responders know you may need extra help and have a pet in the home.
Yes I am wondering too what the note says and means as have never heard of this before. x
The note is on their PC screen to say I'm a venerable person.
The note is a warning set up last year to say I'm a vulnerable person. It mentions I'm at risk from self harm and taking my life. This hasn't seemed to have helped at all. I ended up self harming this week because I had to call when I wasn't well enough. My anxiety was so severe the only way to cope was with a release of chemicals that cone with cutting. This was the reason the note was placed on last year to stop this situation. They know email is my only way to make contact at times but still don't reply in a good amount of time. It could be days for a problem I need help with right urgently. They suggest I get another person to talk for me. That doesn't help if I can't phone the person or the person is away or its out if hours. They are supposed to let me contact them in s way that I'm ok with. They take so long to respond, they've not done it. And clearly don't care if I'm at risk it not.
Jake, I am not questioning you or in any way discounting you, nor do I believe is hypercat54....but I need a few more details to perhaps be able to assist you. Please respond. I have to leave the computer fir awhile as I am on a ship with 7000 other people, and some are waiting to use this computer. I'll be back later. x
Jake, I'm back but you're not You ok?
Hi. I was too depressed to use this. I'm still not sleeping but I'm back. The note is to say I'm a vulnerable person. Inset it up last year and was sent a letter to confirm what they would see about me on their PC when I get in touch. It seems to have it things worse.
I did respond. Wishing you well.
Hi Jake,
I am ok, some days are worse than others,but you know about that. And now my computer is acting up. But that's no big deal even though sometimes I wish everything were going just right, you know? What's up with you?
Maybe what your note says isn't working. Maybe juts a note in large letters saying "Please. quiet. I'm sleeping" might work better. When I just have had enough of all the people on a ship (around day4-5) I put the sign out that says "Resting from my last adventure."
what a good topic to bring up. I think all of those who have a "invisible" condition receive discrimination in some form. From the local authority, dwp, medical profession, strangers, friends, family and the list goes on. you can feel judged and your pain minimised by those who have no idea what it is like to live the way we do. I have found that with some people, especially those who are close to us, asking for what you need is helpful as they are not mind readers and it can help those close to us know what they can do to help. It can also increase their understanding. But you have to trust those you ask for help.
I have also had discrimination when looking for a place to study counselling and was asked what I would do if my pain increased in class and how would I get home!! After I qualified I applied for a Job in the NHS department that I had worked for free for four years. Again I was asked how I would manage my pain. I had the lowest sickness rate of anyone in the department and I was asked by the only person on the panel who had not worked with me. I didn't get the paid job and because of being asked questions that are not allowed to be asked (they didn't ask anyone else the same question) I left the department. I was the first person ever from that department who was nominated for an award by my clients and my pain was still held against me.
I think this is a really interesting topic as discrimination affects all of us in different ways.
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