Ridiculous

[Teddy88]

So I’ve joined this site today, written a post about me and my issues.... just been sitting here and reading other people posts and I feel so pathetic, my issues are minimal compared to other people’s.... how can I think I am having a shit time when there are other people out the going through stuff I couldn’t imagine going through... this makes me feel so ridiculous... this is what makes me hate who I am... why am I so weak? I’m not religious is anyway but I sometimes like to think that maybe if there is someone out there then apparently your made the way you are and you should never change who you are.... I know who I am, and I hate who I am.... I spent 99% if time wishing to be someone else... I hate me and who I am... how can you have a life when you know what life holds!

I don’t help myself I know, I recently started taking a lot of drugs because 1 it makes me get away from life for a bit and 2 it actually helps me speak and talk shit...

To be honest I don’t know what I’m expecting from this but just writing this down on a random site that no 1 knows who I am and can’t judge me...

Sorry for ranting

[Philip]

Hi Teddy, you sound really unhappy, and a lot of people have many different things wrong with them but when you post it’s there for us to read and we don’t judge anyone, we will talk have to anyone lol, you have problems and others have problems and we are here for you and the others.

Be nice to those who have written the things we read and there you have it.

We are there for everyone otherwise, no one would give a flying pig.

Lol you are home with us.

Philip xx

[Teddy88]

Thank you Philip... Ive never been able to open up and talk but I want to because I know it will help... I just don’t know how to!

I want people to be brutally honest with me.. because people don’t know me on here..

I would be nice to hear something other than.... it will be ok... you can get through this.... il hear for you.... knowing perfectly well they will. It understand.

Thanks mate

[Philip in reply to Teddy88]

One of my debilitating illnesses,fibromyalgia, when I first got that My family decided to take the piss and just got out of the place, they called me lazy idle! One off my family even said that you’ve had 3years and that it will get better in two years but I could only be ill for 5 yrs, so you could imagine what I was like, Depressed and left at the side of the road, not literally lol, as time went on I started to get other things Diabetes insulin dependant, after that I think COPD came along lol and year on year I developed more illnesses, my biggest problem is that I was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia in 2014, and it is getting me down so much I try to hide away.

The thing is to try and stay positive, it’s a fight but I keep on keeping on, we are all different and handle our illnesses deferential, so don’t take offence or think that you don’t belong.

Because you do belong here just as much as anyone else

[johnsmith]

One of the things that has been known in the Zen Buddhist practice is that emotions are felt in the body. Change the body movements and the emotion changes. Move in a happy way and the body loses some of its sadness. It will not change the events that cause the sadness, but it will take the edge of the sadness.

This is for you to experiment with to see if what I say has some truth to it or not.

[butterflyEi]

Hi Teddy88

I am sorry to read that you are having a tough time, we all of us need some help and support as we go through life as sometimes it is hard to help ones own self. I recently read on another site "don't let someone else's problems rob you of your own" and I am trying to remember it when my own problems are deminished either by myself or others.

I also am a dreadful person putting myself down and lacking confidence but again on advice from another site I have started listening to recordings from You Tube for meditation and visualisation - I was apprehensive at first thinking it would be a load of rubbish but I have found listening to various voices especially the relaxation and sleep ones give me a sense of inner peace. I often sleep soundly after listening and I have found more energy allows me to get out into the air for a walk which does make me feel better. I might meet a dog walker or two who will pass the time of day and pet the dog which is always rewarding.

Drugs would not work for me but we all take the route which suits us and we are not here to judge another. If you have something you like to do, try to do it each day to make you feel valued, whether it be reading or having a bath, walking or swimming, or something else.

A long time ago, in what I call my dark days, a counsellor suggested that each morning as I clean my teeth I look in the mirror and say "I am okay". It has a way of telling the mind that yes you are okay and you can deal with the world. I hope that something will help you find a way to value yourself, we are all beautiful people inside.

best wishes

[katieoxo60]

Well now did the rant help you? It often does help to get things out of your system. You seem to be aware that the drugs are not the answer, which is good. But drugs are no different to drinking alcohol it is a drug to., which spaces you out for a while. each to their own. Pain can drive you to take any measures for relief. Your self esteem seems low,we all have a part to play in life some have leading roles and some are just like extras in a play. You are showing us how to deal with other peoples woes that is a very important skillthank you for sharing your thoughts today. Hope to talk again soon,take care.

[AndrewT]

Dear Teddy,

First of all.....and I'll get this STRAIGHT out, so you are in no doubt.....You are nor Ridiculous or, in ANY way, Wasting anyone's time! What you ARE is worried/concerned and that's what we are ALL here for!! Have you 'got' that? Good.

I AM concerned that you are taking 'Drugs' however oh I'm NOT bothered about a bit of 'innocent' Law Breaking, but I am concerned about your Overall Health. I'm NOT trying to 'Lecture' you either, however........Medical Drugs and 'Recreational Drugs' do not always Mix well. In actual fact they CAN re-act very badly together, even if they don't, the Effectiveness of your Prescribed Medication can be reduced. Even if none of this is the case, they are not doing you any Good, are they? Putting extra Stress on your, already damaged body, for a FEW moments of 'pleasure'??? Sorry to Put It, like this, and I know that TWO 'things' are true here. One you know that I'm right and two that you f..king HATE me, for it!

At the risk of having ALL your metaphorical 'Pots and Pans' thrown at me, let me say that I DO, to some extent anyway, understand how you feel. May I finally say that I will Pray, for you, Teddy. (I am a Confirmed Christian, and attend Church 'Almost all' Sundays).

Kindest Wishes

AndrewT