I get so b***** frustrated and angry at everything, my ears are bursting with noise that I can't get rid of , my pain seems to live with me like it's part of my body and in my mind almost 90% of the time and everything I do and every thought has to firstly pass the test of can I manage, will I be able to cope and will the pain be too much.
Frustration is the other thing that gnaws away the rest of me, it's no use flailing round and looking for answers that are not there, it's no use cussing the Doctors or the NHS for they are only just part of the blame, so it is to myself that my anger and frustration flails the most.
There is no advice, there is no more doors to pass through , no more Doctors to get angry at, nobody but myself is left to blame and I am in so much Pain that even blaming myself is just another waste of time.
But what to do I've tried it all and I've lived with it so long that all the advice is useless for I've done everything that anyone can possibly think of to cope with the Pain, anger, and that frustration can bring to my table on a daily and hourly basis .
Neurological impairment is just another issue that now just cant be ignored no matter how hard I try and then of course the long term side-effect issues of taking certain medication's.
But is my anger justified can I look out at the suffering of others and then justify my anger for on this site you will hear such terrible suffering , more profound disabilities , pain possibly that is worse than mine and other thing's that I just can't imagine.
So I must keep my anger locked away and my frustrations to myself for it is only I that can truly know them and only I that can truly cope with them, oh I can share them, but only I live with them.
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coolpolitealex
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Yes pain sucks, and often feels like a loosing battle. You're bound to be depressed at times (depression and pain can form a downward spiral). You can't take it out of other people, you'll only push them away. Things would be much worse if I didn't have people I can talk to.
You can't choose what cards you're dealt, only make the best of them. I don't think everybody in the NHS is conspiring against you (unless your surname is Hunt).
Could you ask for a referral to the pain clinic? They can give you different ways of dealing with the pain and also help you with the anger and disappointment that comes along with the pain.
Pretty blunt and straightforward then,hmm, pain yes the source of every emotion known to mankind,it's shows only the worst in us, and dealing with it is always at the top of the list, we cling onto every "cure", we see "specialists", we pop pills, and so the circle of life continues, and that's what you do when things are bad,feeling like you're in an Olympic sized swimming pool and someone has pull the plug out, and your getting sucked down a big plug hole,well nobody can understand your pain, however there's plenty of people on here who will throw the life bouy to you,I can't change your situation, but we all are prepared to understand your struggles, and even if one person on here can make you smile, that's something you might not of done in a long time, yes pain sufferers on here explain,and you've been polite enough not to swear, but I presume deep down inside, you'd be a rich man if you had a swear box, so nothing wrong with that, as after all we're just human, so in this magical world we wonder why can't we cure pain, and that's the biggest pain of all,so how do I end this message, I don't know, so being you,is what made your statement stand out, and hopefully you'll get a good response, and I truly hope you will get positive feedback, ttfn
I understand everything you are saying its a no win situation.Ive just been taken off my meds due to a disgruntled ex of my daughters telling the healrh dep that i was selling my neds,im under investigation and im withdrawing big time.Taken off fentanyl in the blink of an eye,its been nearly 4 weeks,feel like slicing my wrists and painting the health dep red.Im really over the whole system.Dont know what to do,they are so clever here,they inform ur drs but dont get in touch with me.You are literallt banging ur head up against a brick wall.You are the only person who can help urself.Yep there are people worse off than you but you need to focus on youreself,sounds harsh but you need to worry about urself cose at the end of the day you are the one suffering and who else out there will help you.Thats my vent for the day.I hope you find a solution that helps you cooe .
Collage and working for other people will always stress you and make you angry. If you drop out of college,Think about starting your own business, then you can work your own hours on your own terms, choose a field that has a future in it (for example if you were do mechanics at collage, look in to servicing fuel cells on electric cars) (if its aircraft engineering look in to drone repair/ technology) (If its farming look in to Hydroponics ) . Im 39yrs old. I dropped out of college at 17yrs old after 1 year doing carpentry and joinery, I drive a ford Fiesta and most of my friends that I was at college own their own construction company's and drive BMW's or Audi's. To be fair I cant work any more due to problem with my spine but neither do my friends as they employ staff to run their business. I don't know what your studying as there are some good course and some bullshit courses, If your course is something bullshit like'Political Science' or 'Womens Studys' or my all time favorite bullshit college course 'A Feminists Critique of Christianity' Then Drop out and dont waste any more of your time. On the other hand If it has a future in it like Builder/Vet/computer code/food/Science ,Talk to your Tutor and family tell them how you feel and with the right support you might be able to at least finish the year and then see how you feel.
I know how u feel. Am in pain 24/7 n the med I have not a high enough dose. Tried to talk to chronic pain nurse about having it put up to 30mg (Zomorph ) but she refused. Won't give me owt for breakthrough pain either! Am at my wits end now. Every day is miserable.
Have you heard of the Mindfullness Based Stress Reduction programs. They are often run out of hospitals or in conjunction with Pain Clinics. The goal is to teach mindfulness meditation to people with pain, stress and mental health issues to help them cope, especially when meds and other m3dical interventions aren't going anywhere. It is done in the context of people with medical issues, as opposed to an open medtation group, and is based on JOhn Kabat-Zinns "Full Catastrophe Living". I am just starting a group so can't vouch for it personally But many have felt it has made a difference for them.
In Canada, anyway, there is no chaRge when it is part of a hospitals programme and you have a doctors referral.
You've had a lot of replies and I'm sorry I've not read them all. Sorry if I'm just repeating things already said.
So pain can be the source of frustration, which morphs into anger. You're not angry at anything in particular really, you're just sick of feeling frustrated. I know the feeling - I get it a lot but I also have Personality Disorder which contributes to my anger issues.
Have you tried councilling and have you also tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?
There is always the option of hypnotherapy - but this can cause lots of personality changes and is only ever used as a last resort.
Talking about it will help - even if it's just an online friend or a teddy bear. Tell them what's made you mad, tell them what you want to happen. Often talking out loud can provide you with ideas of how to make those things happen.
I'm sorry I can't provide anything more but I didn't want to just read and run. I know exactly how it feels to be angry for no reason. It's not a nice feeling and it makes you feel bad about yourself. It becomes a horrible cycle really.
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