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Hi, I am due to go on holiday to Dorset with my husband this Saturday, my husband is so looking forward to it and wonders why I'm not excited about it. I worry as the more mobile I get like getting in and out of car and walking further than just around the house and taking a short walk with dog, which the last time I did this within 2 days I was in agony. My Gabapentin are okay but the co-codamol I have been given although helping with the pain if I have to take more than a couple in a day I just cannot function, swimmy head & feeling sick. He keeps asking why I not not excited and I don't like to say anything as he deserves a good holiday and I don't want to spoil it for him. he just will not go off on his own if I say I want a break today so that I could rest up. It's so hard when you look okay to explain what it is like to be in constant pain and too much walking and my feet knees and back get so bad I don't know where to put myself. Can anyone suggest a way I can get him to go off on his own as where he won't do this I feel I have to go with him so he can get out and about and then the vicious circle of really bad pain begins

9 Replies

  • Create an itinery, Get on the internet and plan each day so you know exactly what you are doing each day. Create lots of cafe breaks, mix activity with rest.

    The best way to cope is to increase your activity a few weeks before you go, build up your tolerance to walking, even if you only add on 10 mins that's a bonus. Add yoga or pilates to your daily activities to keep the muscles stretched out.

    Explain that increased activity causes more pain and for you to get some enjoyment from the holiday you need to mix activity with rest. And while you are resting he can go out exploring.

    Why not book yourself in for a pampering afternoon, it's a holiday afterall! and your husband will have to find something else to do.

    Maybe find a craft day or half day course to do, so you are able to sit. Again, if it's not his thing, he'll have to find something else to do.

    See if there's anything courses or activities he would like to do too, so it's not onesided. And once he sees how it works, I think he will like it.

    Find a cafe and sit with coffee and cake people watching, or a beer garden if it's sunny.

    I survived many family holidays by being organised and sorting out what everyone wanted to do before we went. I made sure I had alternatives to do for the times they were active. We did things as a family, on our own or split Up.

    I'm not sure where you are staying but we always got holiday cottages with a garden, so if I had a really bad day, I could relax in the garden.

    There's got to be some give and take and I don't think pain is a reason not to go on holiday. You know you will return worse than you left, accept it for what it is, have a week of rest to recover. Who knows, being somewhere different and seeing new things may just be a good distraction.

    Remember there are people in our society who choose to have pain in their work - ballet dancers, athletes and fire fighters. They never say they're not going to work because of the pain.

  • It's not so much the pain or though that is bad enough it's just that if I try to do too much I just cannot walk at all by end of the day, like when i try to do a bit of weeding in the garden which I so love after all the activity I have a job to walk from the living room to the kitchen etc. I have decided after the holiday i am going back to the doctor and get a late in the day appointment so he can see what happens to me. Also I am going to ask again to see a foot doctor as that is where my last doctor before I moved home was going to send me but as i was moving counties he said to see new doctor and get him to send me to foot doctor as it would be a different area. Perhaps I am fobbed off to easily. Thank you for your advice I'll tell my husband that it would make me unhappy if he didn't get out do do some things if I have a day off of activities, he is too considerate at times and it makes me feel so guilty

  • Make sure you have your toolkit of helpful things with you. Suggestions -Hot water bottle, ice pack if you get it somewhere to freeze, tens unit can keep you going. If you have space for a single mattress topper, or a thick fluffy duvet to lie on, it's worth taking with you. If you have ever been given any stretching exercises to do, build up to them before you go away, gently, and again gently do before you go out on trips and again when you come back.

  • Thank you for your reply, the mattress topper I had not thought of, which as on reading peoples comments about the caravans uncomfortable mattresses was one of them! I shall shut myself in the bedroom every morning and do my exercises as you suggest, thanks again for your reply

  • I am like you I cannot stand or walk more than a couple of minutes before I have to sit down I have just brought a mobility walker with a seat on it I felt self conscious using it to start with but would not be with out it iteans I can sit down anytime it gives me more confidence when we go away I make sure I have somewhere nice e to sit cafe or pub then my husband is quite happy to have a wonder round

  • Thank you for your reply am now back from holiday I did take just the one instead of two, had a few painful evenings after too much walking but glad I managed it.

  • Hope you are the start of a lovely, relaxing holiday.

  • Did get out and about quite a bit, some pretty awful evenings but made hubby happy!

  • Time to please yourself now. Put your feet up!

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